Wednesday, July 26, 2006


***bottom of post has previously deleted "sex" content- LOL***

Lance Bass: I'm gay.

What defines us?
What matters- really?

Can I be defined by any one thing I do? Or say?

Do you think the National Media Outlets had such a slow news day yesterday that the "Outing" of Lance was the best they could come up with?

It's not like anything else in the world is going on, right?

I wish you the best Lance- in distant, far-off -kind of way...but I would have wished you well regardless-

What defines you?

Do you think that I will think less of you, or more of you- depending on your answers?
About your sexual orientation, skin color, your age, your profession, your political choices?

Definitions are concrete and solid- people change and grow.

What defines me? What I say, or what I do? Or how I look?

Lance is more than Gay. I am more than Blonde.

As far as definitions go- I guess it's ok to start there...on a blog~

But it seems pretty shallow for a news story...
Is being Gay about Sex?

Is being Straight about Sex?

How much time do you spend having sex? (Don't answer)

If being Straight is only about sex- I may have a problem…

Over the span of a lifetime- most people will spend more time using the bathroom, including showers and brushing/flossing, than they'll spend having sex. (and if you don't floss, you really should~ :)

When my life is over I will definitely have spent more time cooking and cleaning and reading than having sex.

I spend more time in the car taking the kids to school- EVERY DAY- than having sex.

Does it matter to me that Lance is Gay? No. Does it matter to me if he is kind? Yes, sort of-

Does it matter to me that he might be “getting lucky” a little more often than me?

Well, at least that would be interesting…



puerileuwaite said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
puerileuwaite said...

Wow. I don't know what has me more excited! Lance being gay, or you mentioning s-e-x.

Since I'm an old-fashioned guy, it is my belief that fornication (I can't believe that I just wrote that naughty, naughty word) should only occur if one (oops, actually now that I think of it - TWO people) wants, er, want to procreate.

Creation is indeed a wonderful process, especially if you are a PROcreator like me.

However, for the rest of you heathens, have you ever considered COMBINING some of these activities? To heck with "Carpe Diem", I say, "Carnal Diem".

Mayden' s Voyage said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mayden' s Voyage said...

Oh- you are lucky...I edited out all the sex stuff- most people will be scratching their heads over this one!
I wonder who else read it? :)

So...fornication (sex outside of marriage, between un married people) is ok if they want to create a child? Perhaps you meant-"they'd like to PRACTICE the process of creating a child."

Why on earth would a woman want a child out of wed-lock? Why would a man?
I don't think you are as old fashioned as you'd like to think...
I agree that "Creation" is a wonderful process- but giving birth was not fun- the fun part was earlier...

..................... said...

shoot, don't edit out the fun stuff (i.e. sex stuff), Cora, in the future..

this post was thought provoking. what indeed does define us? certainly not a label.

the media caters to what they think will bring viewership. somebody's sexual orientation should not be news worthy, but apparently to some nitwits it is.

umm, i had to google lance bass. had no idea who he is. I guess he thought his sexual orientaion whas news worthy.

Gnomeself Be True said...

I had to google to find out who Lance Bass is.
It seems it would have to be a slow news day if they mentioned the guy at all.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Ok- Schaumi :) I'll edit the sex back in :) It'll take me a little while, so check back :)

The media used to announce that someone was Gay for the shock value...but it's not shocking anymore.
Nor do I need this info. Of course, this is basically true about all celebrity gossip...I don't care what they named their baby, or who is sleeping with who...or if they wear boxers or briefs.

Iamnot- For someone who enjoys Queen...I am totally surprised you are not an INSYNC Fan! LOL!!! :)
(forgive me- I couldn't resist!)

..................... said...

okee dokey, i'll check back later.

i need all the distractions from packing i can get..... :)

puerileuwaite said...

Allow me to clarify. I am so puritan in my beliefs that MY definition of fornication INCLUDES s-e-x between married partners.

Anyone who derives fun from the process of reproduction is going to burn you-know-where.

I would probably quote an appropriate Bible verse at this point, but I'm really not much of a "reader".

I may be wrong. I think I need to get out more.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

May I be so bold...
Sex between un-married people who are married to other people is called Adultry.

I'm Baptist...who are well known for having tubes tied and vessels clamped so that they can "practice" whenever they want- and not Procreate...and not burn either :)
I agree you should go out more- :P

..................... said...

gay, straight....
whether it's about sex or not.
as long as folks are happy in their skin.

i really loved my sex life when i was planning on procreating. but i have to say, i also tremendously enjoyed it before and still do now.

hmmm, i do spend more time in the car hauling myself and other folks around though..

Anteros said...

It's not about sex at all, it's about emotional attachment and the need for have a void filled that may or may not be quatified by the same or opposite sex.

In reality sex should be a byproduct of an extremely strong emotional relationship but unfortunately the world turns it into a 50 cent joyride at a theme park.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Schaumi- you, of course, "drove" straight to my point...if we are defined by what we do- I might define you as a Taxi service.

When we realize how tiny a role "sex" is in our lives...even if a person is intimate with someone daily- it still won't come close to being the Primary thing he/she does/is. (unless there's an addiction issue or something) And to Define someone, or define ourselves, by our sexual orientaion is, I think- nonesense.
The media thinks otherwise..

Anteros- Are you saying that we are, in part, defined by our needs? I think there is truth in that. And whoever meets that need- regardless of sex- is the person who completes us, in a way.

It's always seemed to me that people who are hung up with another person being Gay is acutally hung up with the sexual act itself.

For some- sex is purely about childbearing, even though it's obvious that we were also created for pleasure. Shall I define myself that way?
Hello, my name is Cora...and I am all about Pleasure-mine and yours... LOL! (ick!)

As an adult, living in a world where it is not uncommon to have a student in your kids class who has 2 moms...the homosexual lifestyle is unavoidable. I would never introduce those 2 ladies as my "Gay" friends...I would say, "This is Abby and Cala- Jordan's parents"...

See what I mean, they are not defined by being Gay. They are moms...they are Jordan's parents.

Whew...this was longer than the post! Sorry...Puerileuwaite is rubbing off on me :)

sparringK9 said...

/bark bark bark

i fall into the old school camp here. gay or straight i dont need the details. as you know from the duel, i like to keep it at the playful level, not real graphic or specific and lots of metaphors and silly puns. but that is not a criticism of anyone who wants to share the intimate details of their sex life.

what defines people? i think its what they create. family, meaningful work, any creative eneavor like a blog or poetry or painting or a lovely garden, a beautifully prepared meal, a well trained dog..... where ever sincere effort is applied.

when i am my highest dog i only see the virtues, when i am the animal me i focus on the flaws
it is a choice. wish i made it more often.

i cannot agree with you more on the celebrity culture. irritating the power of it. a prize winning scientist, a great writer, the most famous living painter could walk down mainstreet anywhere USA and never be noticed. which is probably a good thing.

and now, how was your day? did any insects pay you a visit?


Darius said...

"Over the span of a lifetime- most people will spend more time using the bathroom, including showers and brushing/flossing, than they'll spend having sex."

I've had similar thoughts. I mean, I just can't see mainly defining myself as a Heterosexual.

Look! Everybody! I'm a Heterosexual Person! Heterosexuality is Me!

On the other hand, I do understand why gays might identify more with their sexual orientation since so many heterosexuals have been wanting it to go away. Still, the only gay couple I've known well aren't like that. They don't make any more of a fuss about their sexual orientation than any other couple I know. To me it seems healthier and more balanced to view your sexuality as less than the focal and defining element of who you are as a person.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

No insects darling Pup...and today has been lovely- thank you for asking~ smooch! :)

I like the way you write and play-
I have written sensual stuff- but not to be shared with the masses.

"Creation of something with the application of sincere effort" is how you see people being far I love that statement best of all.

Being defined by my energy- my passions- my words- my work- my family- and oh- friends :)

My CNN headline would read:

Cora B, says: I'm Happy! :)

Hey Darius! Welcome :)
I agree whole-heartedly with orientaion is just a small bit of who I am.
"Healthy and Balanced" is almost hard to recognize these days...
Thank you for stopping by :)

X. Dell said...

This is a fairly sophisticated post, Cora. Well done.

Probably, because Western society (the US in particular) has a number of repressed issues concerning sex, sexuality perhaps defines us more than it should. Not just in terms of gay or straight, but in terms of a whole range of issues.

For example, until I had closer friendships with gays and lesbians, I didn't realize just how much my own heterosexuality defines me as "normal." Although that's correct in the sense that most people are heterosexual, it is also normal for a certain percentage of a populartion to be homosexual in some species, including ours.

Interesting comments here.

ThursdayNext said...

I guess in this neck of the woods, when someone says he is gay, he could tell a person that owns a Honda for all that it matters!

I am trying to be clever, but I am so bitter this week with the media that I just can't follow through with it. There is a war going on outside our front doors and the media wants to cover a story about what is going through the back door of some B-list Boy Band singer?

Forgive my outburst...

X. Dell said...

Thursdaynext, I completely agree.

Lee said...

A thoughful and thought provoking post, Cora. The 'time spent' approach puts things in a bit more perspective.

We certainly do put far too much emphasis on some labels, more than others. We love to stereotype!

Ultimately, sexual preference is about as significant as left or right handedness. But nowhere near as sinister.

Unlike Schaumi, I didn't even bother looking up who the guy was. I wonder why he felt he had to tell us? And why did he think we wanted to know?

Mayden' s Voyage said...

X~ thanks :)

Miss E.- You are of course correct. These are frightening times that we live in- and terrible things are happening- wars and rumors of wars.
I got to speak with my nealy 13 yr old this morning about Hezbollah and Israel. I feel like I hold my breath everytime I turn on the news. No apologies necessary friend...

Lee~ :)
I'm not sure why it was important for him to make an announcement...or if this was just a case of a reporter who got the scoop- asked a direct question, and there it was on the news.

The boy/young man was VERY popular a few years ago and now the sail has gone flat. My guess is he is going to promote something soon...I'll wait and see. One thing I have noticed- that even though the gay community is not terribly large- they do tend to support each other well.

Lady Prism said...


Everything...even the comments are so wonderfully said...

....and I think to myself...

"what a!...

Lady Prism said...

this reminds me that I met my Hubz' through a friend who happened to be gay!...I miss him...( my gay friend...)

Unknown said...

ANd I probaly will spend more time jumping over a blue moon on teh abck of a cow than having sex :(

velvet acid tongue said...

good point you make. and i agree, our society's fixation on this whole gay vs straight thing is based on that whole victorian sexually repressive attitude.

gay ... straight. these are labels we like to place on people so we can deposit them (people) into neat little categories, that develop out of our own pre-conceived notions.

i get your point about sex and how it seems to get an inordinate amount of attention, given how much time the average individual spends actually performing 'the act.' but ... sex is more than just a task, or a series of actions strung together. its so primordial. at the core of who we are and how we got here.

so ... no wonder we are sorta 'stuck' on it. not sure if this will make any sense, but its sorta the same way the sound of a beating heart is primordial: if you listen to music, doesn't the beat sort of mimic the same primordial sound?

thanx for this MV.

Enemy of the Republic said...

If Lance is gay, then that is his deal, but why it has to make the front page is beyond me. We have a world in crisis, over 600 dead in Lebanon, our soldiers dying like flies in Iraq, terrorists killing innocents, and the celebrities with their sexual orientations are the concern. I've been married for years and I have a child, plus I caretake my niece, but that isn't what defines me, nor my job, nor my curly brown hair. I am myself. I don't even know how to go farther than that. I believe we are here for reasons that are revealed in time as God wills it--and he sees me as his child. Perhaps that should just be enough.

Thank you for linking me and coming to Live Love and Ponder. I responded to your post to Fatty. You are a very kind person.

sparringK9 said...

/bark bark bark

you know, enemy's comment makes me reconsider definition by action. she reminds me of something mother teresa said which was: "it's a human being not a human doing".

mayden: i enjoy reading sensual writing and ive seem some good stuff from bloggers on my howl outs.....that's different from a blow by blow detailed report....sensual writing takes into account the transcendant of the experience (when its done well)


puerileuwaite said...

Okay, I'll be serious this time, as atonement for rubbing off on Fair Mayden; presumably in the wrong way. As Gail (one of the two fugitive convict brothers) from "Raising Arizona" said, "We certainly didn't mean to influence anybody, ma'am".

Gay or straight, we are who we are. IMHO it is mostly if not entirely prearranged on a biological level. And except for those of our who may be religious zealots, who are we to judge, anyway? It is encouraging to see the paradigm rapidly shifting to widespread acceptance. To borrow from the great MLK Jr., it's not the color of one's skin (or their sexual orientation), it's the content of their character.


(This is where I'm about to reveal a dark and horrifying secret which contributes to my frequent episodes of self-loathing: in some ways I am VERY conservative! )


A real problem, as I see it (I visualize some if not all of you nice folks groaning as I step up onto my soapbox), is sexuality continuing to permeate every aspect of public life. Every day, public decency takes another shot. And every day, we surrender to it more and more, as we are unaware that we are doing so.

So my issue with one being defined by one's sexuality isn't whether the person is gay or straight, it's that we are even using sexuality as an evaluation method in the first place! Ditto for whether something is newsworthy.

Paul said...

The biggest problem with people being gay is the word gay. It sounds so unserious-minded.

They need a new terminology. "Heterosexual" and "homosexual" are ok, but so - scientific sounding.

"Straight" is offhanded vernacular for hetero. How's about, "crooked?" No, too negative.

They need a new word.

sparringK9 said...

/bark bark bark

dear mayden thank you for the sweet and cheesy. my mood is always improved when the sunny mayden comes to call. this weekend no outings just staying at home like an innocent lil puppy. sleeping. eating. sleeping. eating.

/(soft) grrr

Mayden' s Voyage said...

I agree- people from all over- with different views and core beliefs have spoken honestly- I have been touched by many of these replies :)

SJ- Cows and Blue moons are not to be mentioned in the same sentence with the word SEX! LOL! :) Perhaps you'll at least get some space travel out of the deal?

Velvet- Wow...yes, a heartbeat- the rhythm of life- the first sound we hear in the womb- before sight, before touch, before taste- there was sound, and look at how powerful it is- in every culture.
Powerful! :)
I did think that I downplayed the importance of sex- and I am glad you brought that up. We could make an entire blog about sex and the way it influences our choices and the way we interact with other people- and not even bring the "act" into scope- but that would be rather boring, wouldn't it? :)

EOR- "I am myself" is quite a freeing thing to say...leave the definitions up to someone else. I like it :) The Word says that God does not look at outward appearances, but at the heart. And who are we trying to please, men, or God?
If we are trying to please God, then we are defined by Him- and everyone elses definitions seem pretty lame, don't they? :)

"P" You said, "we are using sexuality as an evaluation method"...and I agree that as a society we do, and grossly so..."Sex sells".
I think we will come to a saturation point though- I mean, I was a kid in the 70's- and even I remember the boobs, and the flesh, and the steamy sexual underside to just about everything. The 80's brought about "Just say NO"...longer dresses returned, women (thankfully) put their bras back on :)
The slide South began again in the early to mid-90's. And our very public and sexually active President- not that I am blaming him for the slide (I blame Monica for that, but I digress)- didn't help matters.
Some would even go so far as to say Bill CLinton was elected in part because of his sex appeal to women voters. (NOT ME- I, with 5 others, voted for Ross Perot!)
Talk about a dangerous evaluation method!

Percy- dear is just you and I way down here at the bottom of this post :) I dare not flirt!
All the Bill Clinton comments above were actually for you ;)
CS Lewis, in Perelandra (I think) called people who were different, or even bad, "Bent"-
But, you are right that the term can not have negative connotations- and Gay means happy (yes, that was pun in my blog if you happened to catch it~) Most gay people I know are fairly happy to be out and about- not pretending to be something they aren't.
Unlike me sometimes. I pretend way to often...that I am happy-and balanced- when I'm not.

But that story is for another day- maybe~

Mayden' s Voyage said...

I adore you :) Even with the Contessa chasing me around with the box of Jello pudding and that whip of hers! :)
But there is no doubt- she is VERY hot! ;) I don't blame you for loving her too :) (but watch out for those spikey boots!) *smooch* :)

Michelle said...

Great post! I just don't see how this can be news to anyone. Surely the media have enough to occupy themselves with, without putting this guy on their front page? I mean really.....who cares!

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Thanks Michelle- good to see you :)