Thursday, January 15, 2015


A lifetime she said,
Slowly turning her head,
And smiled at the man of her heart.
Whatever is left, we'll make it the best,
Each morning we'll kiss at the start♡

A lifetime she whispered,
Forgetting all winters,
Only thinking of spring-
Of flowers in bloom, while honeybees zoom,
 and the man who made her heart sing.

A lifetime can be lived in a moment,
Or it can span 100 years,
Millions of seconds of joy and pain,
Of laughter, learning, and tears.

"A lifetime", he whispered, and nodded his head,
 while holding the one he loved so-
I've waited long- you are my hearts favorite song,
For a lifetime, I'll never let go.


Sunday, December 28, 2014

Comfort, Illness, and transparency

In my earliest memories of being sick as a child- my mom was always present, and ever providing comfort.   She held my hair while I hugged a trash can, brought a cool towel for my face and forehead, and poured a tiny glass full of ice and cola for me to take tiny sips from.  Her care was equally diligent for a bad cold, or a an injured limb- she was present and she was helpful.

This week I suffered from a terrible bout of food poisoning.  It was most likely the norovirus, which has a quick and violent beginning, and leaves the the body weak and drained.   Re-hydration is tricky because you don't want to do ANYTHING to trigger the retching again.  Mom's advice about tiny sips echoed through my head multiple times.  It was good advice then, and it is good advice now.

Aside from the unfortunate realtor who came by to show the house I am living in (while I was on all fours in the bathroom over a rug thinking I would cough up my liver)- I battled this illness alone.   No husband hiding on the other side of the bathroom kids asking me if I wanted tea.
No Mom to hold my hair, or reassure me I would survive, or laugh at me when I said out loud "At least the Ebola patients get to die after a few days!"
But, she was there in spirit.
For several hours I was praying I could join her in heaven, but it all passed (no pun intended!), and I came out of the ordeal several pounds lighter and had a new appreciation for suffering alone.  In one way it was a relief no one was around.  I was a disaster.  In another way it was be in pain, unafraid, but helpless and kind of seeing myself in a pure form- because no one else was there- I didn't have to be concerned with their reaction to my misery.  
I suppose we have all tried to put up a good front for people we don't want to worry with our pain (unless you are a man- and then nevermind.  I have never met a man who wasn't a complete and total baby when he was sick!)
Anyway, back to mom.   I think she was probably the last person with whom I was totally transparent.   The only person I have ever trusted enough with all of me not to run away shuddering at what was inside.  

I want that again.   Obviously I can't have my mom back, but I do wonder if there is another soul on the planet I can fully trust with my heart, and my guts, and my thoughts.  I hope so.
However, even then...I don't want them too close if I get food poisoning again.  
Some things are simply better left unseen, unheard, and unknown.


Blast from the past

I probably shouldn't post this again, but it seemed to be a fitting way to end this year- with a joke :)
 (This video is at least 6 or 7 years old!)
Next year is a new ball game, and I am in it to play and play hard!
And I'll try to come up with a better joke :)

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Reasons or Results?

I'm tired of all the reasons, which is why I don't have the results I want.  Need.  REQUIRE!
Time to compile my first book...
Past time.
Last night I went to a writers conference, and several of the members I had met over a year ago and they were "planning, thinking, chewing on, dancing around"...writing their books.  Those people are published now.

I am published in multiple forums and in Europe.  Not all writers need to write a book, but my mom definitely expected me to publish one.  Actually, I think she expected me to publish many books.  One of the ladies I met, Lee, has always reminded me of my mom.  Last night, with all the beauty and kindness of her spirit- she pulled me aside and said, "Cora- where is your book?"
I bit my lip a tad because for a split second it wasn't Lee who was asking me...
It was MOM who was asking.

In truth, the book is already written.  I just have to put it together/edit/and publish it.  I will self publish- it's definitely the way to go in the beginning.  I'm not a new author (lol...getting a bit too old to be new at much of anything these days! :), but a new "book author" is within sight.

It's funny- someone reminded me of the first paper I ever wrote in Creative Writing when I was 8. I wrote about Aliens and meeting one, and how nice they were (though they were very different), and it was such a happy little story.  My teacher was very surprised.  I didn't know why.  Now, as I think of the 8 yr old little girls I know- it would surprise me a little to discover one was writing a genre which mostly consisted of older male writers.  This was back in 1977.   (Carl Sagan did not have much influence in my life, but maybe more than I realized?)

Anyway...the TIME IS WRITE-
and I am expecting better than reasonable results :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Eyebrows are awesome...

The things we take for granted are various and many.  Especially here in the United States of America.
Clean water comes on every time I turn on the faucet.  The electricity here is operational 99.9% of the time, unless we've just had a hurricane or a natural disaster.  In fact, the times we have been without electric current I have worried we are TOO dependent on lights and refrigeration.  My parents remember when electricity and televisions came into being.  My kids can scarcely imagine a time without computers, much less running water and 500 channels of nothing to watch.
But I digress-
Many of us recall a time of cheap gas and big cars, and (oddly) a refill of coke would cost you an extra .50 cents.  Houses were cheap, hospitals were a place to die, and only women of a certain means were able to get their hair dyed, nails done, and eyebrows plucked to look like Ava Gardner.
She was gloriously amazing... (and from about 60 miles from where I live!)
These days things have changed.
Probably to our demise and undoing.
Of all the modern conveniences- including the ice maker, microwave, and awesomely comfy bed warmers (I do mean the electric kind- kudos Ande :)-, not the iron pot full of hot coals one would drag across the sheets!), one glorious, yet terrible, product has made it's way into the homes of millions of Americans.
Waxing kits.
Yes...I mean waxing kits, the kind of thing which should be left to professionals at all costs, and never EVER used on eyebrows.

The Moon tonight

I sat outside alone tonight-
Letting the moon pour over me...
I realized the Moon- He is a MAN
And love is all He seeks.

He reflects the light of a golden sun,
A lover always just beyond his touch-
And how are you and I so different?
Longing for the perfect "such and such"?

The smell, the feel, the leather glove,
Made for you- and you alone.
The touch, the way- the perfect fit-
Like muscle around it's bone.

The man in the MOON was smiling-
He's in love with the "girl in the world"-
But I'm a fool to think it's me-
An aging- simple girl...

And yet, I felt his love come down,
and cover me in light-
He whispered- unabashedly,
That "I" was his delight-

"Few take the time to revel in me",
He said, without remorse,
But those who do- and find the truth,
Will find an altered course!

And so- I sit here tonight-
Touched by a wild full moon.
And I wonder- is he a lover I can trust?
Or not?

Thinking of Ande, Sean, Brian, Foamy, Ted (wherever you are!), NYD, and the rest of my beloved bloggers in this space.   I so miss you.
or- you are free to text me at 919.903.4188- seriously- all my phone stuff is free :)  I'd love to hear from you ♥