Saturday, September 26, 2015

Dante's Inferno- LOVE

Love is more unitive than knowledge in seeking the THING, not the THINGS reason; :Love is bent on finding a real union- though this can only be constituted by knowledge.

Love wants to find the thing that is tactile.  Love wants what it can put it's heart, and hands, and lips on.  It wants warm flesh, and a knowing smile, and soft sheets, passion, and laughter when all is said and done.

According to Dante-
The effects of love are enumerated as "such":
*  Reciprocal abiding - together by choice
* Mutua Inhaesio-  mutual indwelling
* Of lover and beloved together
* a transplant- "out of the self into the other"
* ardent cherishing of each other- with zeal  (was Dante a woman or what?)
* a melting- liquefaction- so that the heart is unfrozen and open to be entered
*  a longing in absence
* heat in pursuit- fervor
*  AND enjoyment in presence..fruitito

Then...what of fear?
And honestly, this is where I have fallen short...fallen short of fear because there was never any need- and yet, now there is.

"Without the discipline of service and obedience, fear remains formal and does not spread over the whole known reality of existence."

As a kid I knew all too well if mom or dad threatened corporal punishment it would come surely and swiftly.   I abided by my word out of the fear of what they would do to me if I lied.   Being untruthful was a magnificent sin in my little world.
Once I expanded beyond my little world- I realised that lies were something people did every day- with no remorse- and no consequences.

Yet- as I age- I fall back into the undeniable value of trust, and truth, and being who I say I am.   Even if I admit to being faulty, or broken, or  blonde (flighty) at times.

In this moment I am alone.   There is no one to call (with more authority than me) if I end up in a rough place.   My kids, my siblings- my friends, all still look to me.   I am Mom, and the Eldest, and a pillar to most people who know me.

In love...what I long for and want to offer- is shelter.

Not necessarily a place to lay your head (though that would be fine)- but a place to lay your heart.  A place, like a manger, where the most important being in the world (to me) can rest his sleepy head.
And wake up feeling new- and strong- and awesome.
Mostly because my Love found it's union- and my wisdom could attest to my loves finding.

Monday, September 14, 2015

New day

"Wisdom trumps feelings."

-Cora Blue

without a doubt- this is true.  

Wednesday, September 02, 2015



The moment you doubt in yourself,
The moment you give way to another-
The moment your happiness depends on ___?
Is the moment you fail altogether.

In this landscape of broken dreams,
Is the moment you see WHO you are,
Beautiful, ugly, perfect, or shattered-
A planet, or a fallen star....

The sweet moon shines on me tonight-
Forgiving all of my imperfections-
I glow in the thought- of maybe just maybe,
I AM my own version of heaven....

IF I smile at each fear, IF I welcome each change,
IF I step out in faith when I must-
Love will find me- love will bind me,
And love- of myself- will be simply enough.

-CRB  9.2.15