Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Crystal Coast, Emerald Isle and Atlantic Beach- North Carolina

(click the link in the title)

I don't need to tell you it was beautiful~ not when I can show you :)

We were contantly under the "threat" of ugly weather, but it made for some of the most beautiful clouds I've ever seen.
I received some bad news just before leaving- family stuff, and it was another reminder that we are continuoulsy under the "threat" of a storm.

We can hide inside or we can head out for a day of fun inspite of what the weather man says~

We went out- and sat in the sun.

I turned pink :) A lovely glow that will last all week long. Of the 4 days of sun and moonlight- there was a total of 2 hours of rain. Barely enough time to get in a good nap!

On a serious note- the bad news has me out of sorts- and I tried not to think about it over the long weekend. Today- home alone, it's hit me rather hard. Everything will be ok eventually, but a marrige close to me is coming to a bitter end and all I can do is watch the thing die. It affects a lot of people, as a dying marriage is bound to do. I just don't understand it.

I understand the feeling of being trapped- but freedom from the promise one made is not the answer. Freedom comes from within. Making another person responsible for YOUR happiness is a brutal trap.

I understand the disappointment of a dream not becoming the reality one hoped it would be, but every day is a new chance to begin again. I understand apathy...but I don't understand letting it become the dominant force of your life.

I'm still growing up I think, and the lessons aren't getting any easier; but each sunset and potential storm mean more to me than the one before. I suppose Im headed in the right direction?

Hope so~

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Paradise from Fire...

I found a post recently from a blogger that I've been reading for over a year.
He posted this:


You can’t have passion
without having hope.
When you have passion,
you no longer fear.

While I agree with his statements above- I have some questions...
and I had a vision.
I'll start with the vision.

I saw a volcano.
Liquid fire gushed up through the top and spilled over the sides of the mountain...burning, rolling, inching it's way towards the water below.
The lava was beautiful, powerful and intense.
Absolutely nothing could stand in it's way. It consumed everything in it's path.
Plants vaporized from the heat long before the lava got close to them. The whole landscape of the mountain was altered.

Over time and as it moved it's color changed. Slowly it lost it's bright red intensity as it started to cool. Eventually it turned into what looked like black stone...barren and porous.

What had been a vibrant, hot, moving, molten mass of melted earth was now something completely different. It had become rock hard- black- and very sturdy.

What if passion is like lava?

What if, over time, passion completely changes it's form and function?
What if what you experienced early on in your relationship is unreasonable to expect later on?

What if you are unprepared for the truth of that transformation?

What if you keep expecting the red hot stuff, but only find black rocks everywhere?
Did anyone tell you this would happen?
Didn't you see it your parents marriage? Or did you chalk it up to apathy, or old age, or not pay any heed to it?

The passion couples have for each other is not always like it was in the beginning- sometimes not even close. However, the poem above makes a profound statement...
"When you have passion, you no longer fear"-

No fear of being alone. No fear of rejection- (at least in a healthy relationship.)

Passion becomes one of two things, as I see it. It either burns up and burns out, or it transforms into something solid- something you can build a relationship on.

It's interesting to think of liquid fire becoming stone and then supporting life. It does not seem possible, and yet-- look at Hawaii. A whole chain of islands created by volcanic activity- now lush and green and full of living things.

What is better? The burning hot lava- red and fiery- and a wonder to behold? Or the stunning plant and animal life that's taken over every square inch of the islands?

It's difficult to comprehend in the lava stage that things are going to change so very, very much.

And hard to imagine, when standing in Paradise, all of the beauty we behold started with an explosion and fire.

This is where I find myself in this phase of my life.
Missing what was and stunned by what is.

THANK YOU MANTISSA for the photo! I love it! It is perfect!!! Hugs :)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Quick thoughts...

Time is short.
Love is big.
Anger is a waste.
Regret is something I have less and less time for.
Communication is important.
Touch is vital.
Tears have meaning words don't.
Opinions are free and worth what you pay for them.
Rules get broken- so do hearts.

Time is short.
Love is big.