Sunday, July 27, 2008

8 things~

8 things before I die-
Just 8???

I've been published locally many times, and in one book internationally. (via another author and I was credited)...but seeing my own book with only my name on display at Barnes and Noble or Books-a-Million is near the top of my list of things I want to do/see before I exit.
I'd even be happy to find one of my books in a bargain bin at the grocery store in a few years :)

I love hot-air balloons and I would love to ride in one, somewhere out in Arizona or New Mexico for a balloon festival they have every October for 9 days or so. I think I would cry every day- just looking at photos of the balloons fills me with a kind of wonder I can't describe.

(This is my favorite tree- it's a Crepe Myrtle like none I've ever half of the tree produces white flowers, the other side a dusty pink flower. When I planted this one it was shorter than me. Now it's at least 15-20 feet tall)

I am in awe of whales and I want to see them in the wild~ I want to be on a ship and take photos of them. Then I want to go to New Zealand and swim with the Beluga whales...the white ones. Or at least be on a tiny boat and get close to them. I love whales- love, love, love whales.

I'd also like to go to Alaska during a Salmon run and watch the bears fish. I'd also like to join them (at a safe distance) for dinner, but I will be grilling my Salmon over an open fire- they can have theirs raw.

I want to live overseas for an extended period of time. Actually- I'd like to do this in the Philippines, South Korea, Taiwan, Ireland, and perhaps Japan for 3 to 6 months at a time either teaching English, a craft, or writing. Spending a few months in Wyoming writing in a lovely cabin in the woods (much closer to home) would be wonderful too, however, I don't think I have any blogging friends from Wyoming. Not yet anyway :) Obviously I don't need a blogging friend to make this happen, but it would be nice if one were close by.

Be my ideal body weight.
sigh- why is this one so hard? Not a single day goes by that I don't think about it (understatement)...not one single day- in the last 13 years. I am getting there- but it's slow.

To be on my own for a while, before I'm too old. I have never lived alone- ever.

Being alone in my house is blissful. I think part of my desire to travel stems from often being in a crowd. For as long as I can remember there's always been a group of people close by- mostly family. Being part of a large family is a blessing, no doubt, but room to grow and think without being questioned or unobserved is rare for me, even today. Perhaps it is a good thing? I only know there are times when I crave solitude with every cell of my body. I rarely find it for more than a few hours at a time.

One more...just one more? There are hundreds of things yet I want to do.
Hold a great grandchild- one named Cora? :)
Have a house by the lake, go see the Galapagos Islands, go on a cruise (anywhere)- tour the Mayan ruins, go back to China for a little while-maybe go back to school???
I think I'd better stay alive for a long time! :)

Ruela said I had to tag 8 of you- but I will leave the challenge open to anyone who wants to play along. Let me know if you decide to do it~

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Courage and Gratitude~

I was thinking about all of your comments in the post below (I responded to them- which got motivated to write- so thank you :) - and the thing I extracted from each of you, in some form or another, was courage.
As I reflected on this powerful attribute I recognized 2 things- 1) your thoughts and words gave me confidence, and 2) you assured me of the strength I already have within.

Immediately I was grateful and began to think heavily on all the things in my life I am thankful for; and I had never noticed how much courage it takes to be truly and utterly grateful.
I would even go so far to say that it's nearly impossible to be thankful without courage.

Think about it for a moment...
About people you know who are never satisfied, never at peace, either worried about the future, or angry at the past. They might be passionate in their anger and able to face difficult things, but it's NOT with courage and gratitude they make things happen- rather it's with force and bitterness, or selfishness.

I looked up the word "Courage"- the definition is at the bottom of the post...I found something remarkable in Latin that spoke directly to me. It was originally spelled "CORAge" :) - be sure to read all of the definition. I hope it will speak to you too.

---- Gratitude---
"Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in POVERTY by their lack of Gratitude"
-Wallace Wattles

My deck and backyard look like a tropical garden- and the lounge chair covered in towels is where I sit in the sun and marvel at how blessed I am to live here and have this view everyday.
Spa's are nice...but this place is good for my soul.


A tropical storm is brewing off the coast of NC- and it will breeze right past us. My beloved children are at the coast with their grandmother for 2 more weeks. My mother in law is a blessing. My kids are fabulous, smart, funny, wonderful, healthy, and did I mention they are away for the next 2 weeks? :)

2 whole weeks of me getting to be me? Not mom, not chef, not taxi driver, not appointment maker, reminder, and taker? Wow...this is big. Anybody want to go to beach? Anybody want to go anywhere with me? lol!


I know it's silly- but I love my girly socks. Love them. Love them even more with a tan! :)

-More stuff to be thankful for-

Friends who love you and miss you and call you or send you email- (which is a whole bunch of you ;)

Family- especially the ones who walk alongside you on a difficult path, and the ones who make the path difficult. There's room to be thankful for all of them, even the ones who give you heart-ache, because those are the ones who teach you how NOT to be~

A BEST friend who knows everything about you- keeps your secrets- and loves you- inspite of you. My life would be sad and difficult without you Chris. One day- we may have our chance to make the biggest scandal this town has ever seen- until then, we can dream about it :) lol!

The good and dear friends of my children who have blessed my life- in so many many ways. (yes Josh- and Anna...I am talking about you :)

Airconditioning and fans

Hot English breakfast tea!


Rain- and having enough of it to keep the lakes full



Brie and good wine

Passionate kisses

The laws of attraction and expectation

The ache of watching a friend move away- it reminds us how deeply we love

Life- for it's complexities, endurance, it's fragility, it's flavor, sting, surprises, and how it's more than just breathing and moving...

Love- "Ditto" what I said about life.


And while I feel my gratitude list could go on and on (the ocean, trees, birds, DOGS :), books, microwaves, email, digital cameras, my car! etc)

I'm so very thankful for things that have a deeper meaning- a secret message if you will, one that speaks to you and you alone. Something in your home, or within your posession that reminds of an important event or person in your life. Something that whispers to your heart that no one else can hear. Something that gives you courage...and something that makes you grateful.



n. The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery. [Middle English corage, from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *corāticum, from Latin cor, heart; see kerd- in Indo-European roots.]

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I haven't done this,---"Running"...but I do dream about it.

Mom will probably start dialysis in the fall.

75% of patients who start dialysis over the age of 50 only live about 5 years : (
Mom is 58.
I am 39~
Old enough to understand what I'm facing- and young enough to want to run. As if that would solve anything.

My kids are great, and with the exception of my father- my family loves me. Sometimes life throws tough stuff at us...

We head into the waterfall and hope for the best. Either we will drown on the way down, or we come out swimming in muddy water.

Muddy Water- is.

She jumped in her truck and drove away-
Her rear-view mirror reflecting pain,
The house, good kids, and those 3 darn cats-
But Sting blared in the speakers, “She ain’t never comin’ back”.

It wasn’t the man- or dishes she was running from,
Or her angry father, or dying Mom-
Or the bills to be paid, or her lack of free time…
She just couldn’t quiet her frenzied mind.

Many choices made before seeing the whole map,
Now with hundreds of eyes all watching her back.
Some always thought she was “too good to be true”,
But a handful knew how deep she was bruised.

An ache that went to the core of her soul-
An ache pills and prayer couldn’t seem to control.
A pain that pumped fresh with every beat of her heart,
Where did it come from, how did it start?

Down I-40 she tore up the road,
Despite she had nothing- and no place to go.
She fled for the deep south, as if it could save her-
She would stop at the ocean…maybe she’d hide there.

Hide in a palm tree? Work in a bar?
Make wishes on some falling star?
Running was crazy- and suddenly she knew it…
She had to go back, but how could she do it?

She’d been gone for a while, 3 hours max-
But no one even noticed she’d left…
The Man at work, and the kids playing games-
She walked in- and nothing had changed.

At 7 pm, martini’s were stirred-
She had 3- and went to bed blurred-
Woke the next morning…wanting Palm Coast-
And found herself aching- but safely at home.

How long? You might ask…till she runs again?
Jumps in her truck- and let's her wheels spin?
Will the pain surge, or will it finally ease?

I simply don’t know- I must wait and see…

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Just wondering...

I read something today, a UN report (of all the things they could be looking at!) which wrote about the shrinking wildlife habitiat of Orangutans.

Another report said that a group called "The Great Ape's" were creating refugee camps for the monkeys who were displaced by logging and humans who were using the land the monkeys live on.

Refugee camps? Really? My mind began to wander...I wondred if they would give the monkeys food and water? Medicine? Shelter? Cell phones? How about abortions on demand? (probably not- because they are endangered, unlike human babies.)

I remember when I was a little girl I used to watch "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and we'd watch the elephants tramp all over their region looking for water during the height of the dry season. Deeply concerned, I asked my mom if we couldn't ship some trucks full of water to help the poor elephants who were dying of thirst. Seeing dead baby elephants on the dusty parched ground was a bit much for me to process, especially when we had such an abundance of water. She explained we couldn't send water for hundreds of elephants and it was natures way of keeping the elephant population in check.

If humans had been on the planet when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and the T-Rex was in you think we'd have made a refugee camp for them? How about a refugee camp for roaches, or rats, or termites?

We in the US have multi-million dollar programs to eliminate all kinds of unwanted creatures, and dang it- fleas are still NOT on an endangered species list! What's up with that? Of course, if we ever did get that close to killing the pesky little varmits- I'll bet the UN would do a report on it... but I wish they would focus on people.

And don't tell me the Orangutan is my cousin- nope...don't say it. You can claim to be from the same family tree as them, but not me... My kids might be, but not me :)