As some of you know, I've been married for almost 17 years.
I never got around to decorating the bedroom- in any of our homes- until last year.
I decorated/ painted the kids rooms, the bathrooms, the dining room- the kitchen. I put a lot of emphasis on the comfort and enjoyment of my kids dwelling places, and the rooms that would be seen most often by other people...but my sanctuary was left undone for a long time. Why?
Why have I let many dear and personal things of importance slip past me like so many foamy bubbles in a rushing river? Why have I not insisted on what was good for me- when I could have insisted? Why have I placed such grand importance on so many others...and not on myself?
Don't I like me?
I'm not talking about my kids- because they always come first. For years and years I have put Hubby first- but he doesn't like it. Then there was the Church, and my extended family, friends, the school...and anything else that came up.
"Everyone was more important than me".
I wrote that yesterday to a friend- in reference to my being the oldest of 6 kids and the little ones in the family having greater/more urgent needs than I did.
I'm not sure their needs were greater- but the one crying with dirty britches is going to be attended to before the moody teenager who is "processing"
heaven-knows-what in her pubescent brain.
This is not to say that I was not important to my parents- I know that I was- but there are only so many hours in a day.
I learned to be independent and resourseful and I had an excellent knack for taking care of others...I am very good at it.
Tim's grandmother died a year ago in January- I had been taking care of her until the year before her death. 10 months later I painted the bedroom by myself.
This past spring I finally bought the comforter set of my dreams- at Costco.
The beautiful "Trees in Winter" came from Costco too- I felt guilty for spending $550 for "art"...but I fell in love with the pictures the moment I saw them.
I knew that for the rest of my life- I could gladly wake up looking at those prints, and never tire of them. I was worth it.
Those are life chaning words- not to be abused, and not to be used an excuse to have whatever you want whenever you want it. But, if you have lived most of your life blindfolded to your own "Significance" (blog coming on that soon!)- it's a powerful thing realize how much worth you have- TO YOURSELF.
I am worth the time it takes to go for a walk to be healthy.
I am worth the effort it takes to be good at what I do.
I am worth the money and skill it takes to have a sanctuary for my bedroom.
I am worth someones time.
I am worth his attention.
I am worth being loved.
I am worth being loved.
So are you.