Down, But Not Out

I fell on Tueday...and might have fractured my elbow...
OUCH!
Lucky for me I got my hair done on SATURDAY and this was the result! lol


I can't complain! I hope I didn't actually break anything, but time will tell.

I've also written poetry about not feeling "beautiful", and started a story about a Captain who ventures into dangerous territory for a short term gain- at the risk of losing a big investment.
Perhaps one day I'll post it when it't ready...

For now- I lay low.

Hugs everyone- BIG hugs. Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!

-me :)

Faces of China

This is a nation where the "community" is more important than the individual- unless you are in a minority tribe. If you are part of a minority you may keep your traditions and customs, but those tribes live in little tucked away places with no support and no government assistance, but they are (mostly) free of government education and it's policing methods.

Places to shop for clothes and such in a villiage like this are miles and miles away. Hand-me-downs are the norm.
Washing machines are not.

Schooling is handled by the elder women in the village and the children roam around in packs during free time. I saw little individual attention given to the kids but they seemed to be happy and thriving in their little groups. I'm positive if one child was harmed, or cried out in real pain, 15 people would have stepped away from their tasks to check on the one who was hurt.

This is a vastly different way of life for kids who live in the city, dress daily in uniforms, and go to school from 7 or 8 in the morning until 7 or 8 in the evening. 10 to 12 hours of education, not including home work, is not unusual for many Chinese children.

_______________________________________________

The Muslim population in China is growing, as is the Christian population, however Communism frowns on both (that's putting it mildly).

I was allowed a rare glimpse into a Muslim Mosque, and an even rarer glimpse of a young boy who was there with his father.

Only the unmarried women in this village were allowed to wear colorful clothes. Once married, the ladies have to settle for something more plain, like brown, or black, or gray.

This was the only disabled person I saw during my trip in China, and while this young man suffers from Down Syndrome, he seemed well fed and cared for. He was in the mountains

and belonged to a minority tribe influenced by a Christan missionary at the turn of the century.

If he had been born in a major city, or perhaps born in a hospital, I don't know if he would have survived. Children who are born blind, or deaf, are considered a drain on the "community" and sent away to underfunded and inadequate schools. It's easy to understand (with that mindset) the sacrifice of mentally handicapped children for the greater good (this is NOT my opinion however).

The little girl who sang the National anthem for the Olympics was not "cute" enough to represent the country...so one can imagine the disgrace and burden of having a child with disabilities.

Sad.

I simply loved something about this little one...she was so joyful!

Tried to hold this little guy- but he wanted nothing to do with me, except he was interested in my camera :)

Chinese Muslim Grandfather and grandson- we had dinner inside their home.
The coming generation in China has a lot to face. The children stand on the shore of the enlightening electronic age as it rushes towards them- with a government of guns and brain washing techniques standing firmly behind them while trying to control the tide. 50 years ago the people of China could be subdued by their government with torture, threats, and the manipulation of the media, but I think it becomes less effective each year as computers and the internet become more widely available. Even so, I realize the Chinese government greatly limits the information coming into, and going out of, the country.

Liberty, freedom, and a realization that each human is special and unique are delicious ideas, but rarely served or encouraged in this Asian nation. However, the Chinese people I met were curious about the lives of those outside their borders, and were gracious, beautiful, and eager to learn English.

Basic human curiosity coupled with an understanding of freedom and the ability to forge one's own path may some day be enough to dissolve the Communist government that exists today, but perhaps not.

Until then, the faces you've seen here, and the people of China you see on TV are under a rule of law which only deems them valuable as part of a group. The individual is not important. Keep that in mind the next time you see the little girl who ACTUALLY sang at the opening ceremonies...ooops-

wait- you probably won't see her to often.

Her face was not the one the Chinese government wanted you to see, and you can be sure she's not the only thing being "edited" for the airwaves.

Special thanks to "Iamnot" for being my inspiration for this post.

Me, the river, and Lord Byron...

Where I was- and who I was with on Sunday...

Grateful for Peace and quiet... internally and externally.

Proactive vs Reactive

Did you ever have an encounter when your heart almost stopped from fear or panic? When you encountered a person or situation and you felt you had no power except to watch things unfold?

Having kids will grant you experiences like that-

Like the time my son had a collision with a telephone pole while riding his bike...his forhead split open and needed 57 stitches to close him back up. For a while, as I held him-bleeding- in my arms waiting for the ambulance- I had a few moments when I was unsure if he would live or die.
Those are moments that age you.

There was another time when my daughter was bitten by a Brown Recluse spider when she was 6 (and weighed only 40 lbs)- and it took me several hours to feel confident the blister on her hand was related to the fever and vomiting.

She was such a tiny little thing, limp and hot in my arms as we carried her into the emergency room...my heart ached over every minute we had to wait for a Dr. to call her back. I watched the poisonous red line travel from her wrist towards her elbow while we waited...praying that an IV and antibiodics would be administered in time. Little did I know then she would require surgery and a 3 day stay at the hospital- but she was a trooper and recovered beautifully, except for a rational fear of spiders she has to this day.

Both of these events happened over Mother's Day weekends- 2 years apart, and in both cases I wasn't paralyzed by fear-- I was motivated by it- as to whether or not my heart stopped, that was irrelevant...I had to take care of my children.

In a crisis there is always something that can be done- even if all you are doing is praying your way through it. Taking a proactive stance is often better than simply reacting. Thinking is proactive. Asking for help is proactive. Listening to advice is proactive. Being STILL and quiet is proactive.

To this day I don't "spook" easily, but from time to time it does happen. Every now and then I am reminded that I am not made of steel, but of flesh and blood with a host of faults that make me vulnerable. I trust easily, love quickly, connect with compassion, and I'm often bewildered by the sometimes ugly nature of humans...but if these are my flaws- then my strenghts are defined by a strong backbone, and unwillingness to surrender without a fight, and a faith that good will prevail in my life.

And "good" does not mean "easy"- rather it's often the opposite. "Good" means work, it means thinking and asking for help when I face something difficult, it means listening, and it means being still and quiet.

I'm here, being quiet while I face a difficult issue (a few actually). Thinking about an action plan, asking for help, and being a good listener. I'm sorry that I had to "blip out" without much warning but I did what I thought I needed to do.

Thank you to those of you who were concerned and sent me a note...and for those of you who were just wishing me well and sending good vibes my way. I felt it :)

8 things~

8 things before I die-
Just 8???

I've been published locally many times, and in one book internationally. (via another author and I was credited)...but seeing my own book with only my name on display at Barnes and Noble or Books-a-Million is near the top of my list of things I want to do/see before I exit.
I'd even be happy to find one of my books in a bargain bin at the grocery store in a few years :)


I love hot-air balloons and I would love to ride in one, somewhere out in Arizona or New Mexico for a balloon festival they have every October for 9 days or so. I think I would cry every day- just looking at photos of the balloons fills me with a kind of wonder I can't describe.

(This is my favorite tree- it's a Crepe Myrtle like none I've ever seen...one half of the tree produces white flowers, the other side a dusty pink flower. When I planted this one it was shorter than me. Now it's at least 15-20 feet tall)

I am in awe of whales and I want to see them in the wild~ I want to be on a ship and take photos of them. Then I want to go to New Zealand and swim with the Beluga whales...the white ones. Or at least be on a tiny boat and get close to them. I love whales- love, love, love whales.

I'd also like to go to Alaska during a Salmon run and watch the bears fish. I'd also like to join them (at a safe distance) for dinner, but I will be grilling my Salmon over an open fire- they can have theirs raw.

I want to live overseas for an extended period of time. Actually- I'd like to do this in the Philippines, South Korea, Taiwan, Ireland, and perhaps Japan for 3 to 6 months at a time either teaching English, a craft, or writing. Spending a few months in Wyoming writing in a lovely cabin in the woods (much closer to home) would be wonderful too, however, I don't think I have any blogging friends from Wyoming. Not yet anyway :) Obviously I don't need a blogging friend to make this happen, but it would be nice if one were close by.

Be my ideal body weight.
sigh- why is this one so hard? Not a single day goes by that I don't think about it (understatement)...not one single day- in the last 13 years. I am getting there- but it's slow.

To be on my own for a while, before I'm too old. I have never lived alone- ever.

Being alone in my house is blissful. I think part of my desire to travel stems from often being in a crowd. For as long as I can remember there's always been a group of people close by- mostly family. Being part of a large family is a blessing, no doubt, but room to grow and think without being questioned or unobserved is rare for me, even today. Perhaps it is a good thing? I only know there are times when I crave solitude with every cell of my body. I rarely find it for more than a few hours at a time.

One more...just one more? There are hundreds of things yet I want to do.
Hold a great grandchild- one named Cora? :)
Have a house by the lake, go see the Galapagos Islands, go on a cruise (anywhere)- tour the Mayan ruins, go back to China for a little while-maybe go back to school???
I think I'd better stay alive for a long time! :)

Ruela said I had to tag 8 of you- but I will leave the challenge open to anyone who wants to play along. Let me know if you decide to do it~

Courage and Gratitude~

I was thinking about all of your comments in the post below (I responded to them- which got motivated to write- so thank you :) - and the thing I extracted from each of you, in some form or another, was courage.
As I reflected on this powerful attribute I recognized 2 things- 1) your thoughts and words gave me confidence, and 2) you assured me of the strength I already have within.

Immediately I was grateful and began to think heavily on all the things in my life I am thankful for; and I had never noticed how much courage it takes to be truly and utterly grateful.
I would even go so far to say that it's nearly impossible to be thankful without courage.

Think about it for a moment...
About people you know who are never satisfied, never at peace, either worried about the future, or angry at the past. They might be passionate in their anger and able to face difficult things, but it's NOT with courage and gratitude they make things happen- rather it's with force and bitterness, or selfishness.

I looked up the word "Courage"- the definition is at the bottom of the post...I found something remarkable in Latin that spoke directly to me. It was originally spelled "CORAge" :) - be sure to read all of the definition. I hope it will speak to you too.

---- Gratitude---
"Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in POVERTY by their lack of Gratitude"
-Wallace Wattles

My deck and backyard look like a tropical garden- and the lounge chair covered in towels is where I sit in the sun and marvel at how blessed I am to live here and have this view everyday.
Spa's are nice...but this place is good for my soul.

-

A tropical storm is brewing off the coast of NC- and it will breeze right past us. My beloved children are at the coast with their grandmother for 2 more weeks. My mother in law is a blessing. My kids are fabulous, smart, funny, wonderful, healthy, and did I mention they are away for the next 2 weeks? :)

2 whole weeks of me getting to be me? Not mom, not chef, not taxi driver, not appointment maker, reminder, and taker? Wow...this is big. Anybody want to go to beach? Anybody want to go anywhere with me? lol!

-

I know it's silly- but I love my girly socks. Love them. Love them even more with a tan! :)

-More stuff to be thankful for-

Friends who love you and miss you and call you or send you email- (which is a whole bunch of you ;)

Family- especially the ones who walk alongside you on a difficult path, and the ones who make the path difficult. There's room to be thankful for all of them, even the ones who give you heart-ache, because those are the ones who teach you how NOT to be~

A BEST friend who knows everything about you- keeps your secrets- and loves you- inspite of you. My life would be sad and difficult without you Chris. One day- we may have our chance to make the biggest scandal this town has ever seen- until then, we can dream about it :) lol!

The good and dear friends of my children who have blessed my life- in so many many ways. (yes Josh- and Anna...I am talking about you :)

Airconditioning and fans

Hot English breakfast tea!

Sunshine

Rain- and having enough of it to keep the lakes full

Thunderstorms

Cookouts

Brie and good wine

Passionate kisses

The laws of attraction and expectation

The ache of watching a friend move away- it reminds us how deeply we love

Life- for it's complexities, endurance, it's fragility, it's flavor, sting, surprises, and how it's more than just breathing and moving...

Love- "Ditto" what I said about life.

-

And while I feel my gratitude list could go on and on (the ocean, trees, birds, DOGS :), books, microwaves, email, digital cameras, my car! etc)

I'm so very thankful for things that have a deeper meaning- a secret message if you will, one that speaks to you and you alone. Something in your home, or within your posession that reminds of an important event or person in your life. Something that whispers to your heart that no one else can hear. Something that gives you courage...and something that makes you grateful.

______________________

Courage:

n. The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery. [Middle English corage, from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *corāticum, from Latin cor, heart; see kerd- in Indo-European roots.]

Running

I haven't done this,---"Running"...but I do dream about it.

Mom will probably start dialysis in the fall.

75% of patients who start dialysis over the age of 50 only live about 5 years : (
Mom is 58.
I am 39~
Old enough to understand what I'm facing- and young enough to want to run. As if that would solve anything.

My kids are great, and with the exception of my father- my family loves me. Sometimes life throws tough stuff at us...

We head into the waterfall and hope for the best. Either we will drown on the way down, or we come out swimming in muddy water.

Muddy Water- yeah...it is.

She jumped in her truck and drove away-
Her rear-view mirror reflecting pain,
The house, good kids, and those 3 darn cats-
But Sting blared in the speakers, “She ain’t never comin’ back”.

It wasn’t the man- or dishes she was running from,
Or her angry father, or dying Mom-
Or the bills to be paid, or her lack of free time…
She just couldn’t quiet her frenzied mind.

Many choices made before seeing the whole map,
Now with hundreds of eyes all watching her back.
Some always thought she was “too good to be true”,
But a handful knew how deep she was bruised.

An ache that went to the core of her soul-
An ache pills and prayer couldn’t seem to control.
A pain that pumped fresh with every beat of her heart,
Where did it come from, how did it start?

Down I-40 she tore up the road,
Despite she had nothing- and no place to go.
She fled for the deep south, as if it could save her-
She would stop at the ocean…maybe she’d hide there.

Hide in a palm tree? Work in a bar?
Make wishes on some falling star?
Running was crazy- and suddenly she knew it…
She had to go back, but how could she do it?

She’d been gone for a while, 3 hours max-
But no one even noticed she’d left…
The Man at work, and the kids playing games-
She walked in- and nothing had changed.

At 7 pm, martini’s were stirred-
She had 3- and went to bed blurred-
Woke the next morning…wanting Palm Coast-
And found herself aching- but safely at home.

How long? You might ask…till she runs again?
Jumps in her truck- and let's her wheels spin?
Will the pain surge, or will it finally ease?

I simply don’t know- I must wait and see…

Just wondering...

I read something today, a UN report (of all the things they could be looking at!) which wrote about the shrinking wildlife habitiat of Orangutans.

Another report said that a group called "The Great Ape's" were creating refugee camps for the monkeys who were displaced by logging and humans who were using the land the monkeys live on.

Refugee camps? Really? My mind began to wander...I wondred if they would give the monkeys food and water? Medicine? Shelter? Cell phones? How about abortions on demand? (probably not- because they are endangered, unlike human babies.)

I remember when I was a little girl I used to watch "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and we'd watch the elephants tramp all over their region looking for water during the height of the dry season. Deeply concerned, I asked my mom if we couldn't ship some trucks full of water to help the poor elephants who were dying of thirst. Seeing dead baby elephants on the dusty parched ground was a bit much for me to process, especially when we had such an abundance of water. She explained we couldn't send water for hundreds of elephants and it was natures way of keeping the elephant population in check.

If humans had been on the planet when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and the T-Rex was in decline...do you think we'd have made a refugee camp for them? How about a refugee camp for roaches, or rats, or termites?

We in the US have multi-million dollar programs to eliminate all kinds of unwanted creatures, and dang it- fleas are still NOT on an endangered species list! What's up with that? Of course, if we ever did get that close to killing the pesky little varmits- I'll bet the UN would do a report on it... but I wish they would focus on people.

And don't tell me the Orangutan is my cousin- nope...don't say it. You can claim to be from the same family tree as them, but not me... My kids might be, but not me :)

Happy 4th of July :)

Bon Voyage~

The end of the shcool year is upon me, as well as changes big and small. My firstborn will go on a mission trip with his youth group to NEW YORK CITY next week. He won't be alone, but he will be parentless as neither my husband or I are going with him. He's almost 15- and he will be fine, but this packing him up and sending him out into the world is just one of many steps I must let him take on the path to adulthood.

Even though I stand in the shadow and watch him go- it's a big step for me too. The divide between being a mothering parent, and a mother of a soon to be adult is a gulf that starts out small- and widens, like a stream that turns into a river. At some point the gap becomes to wide to cross back over (and this is how it should be)...but there is some amount of grief experienced in the process. I feel it now. I felt it when he took his first step, and when he went to kindergarten...and more intensely at this moment in time. I know the ache will reach a peak, and then subside, but I'm not there yet. I assume I'll have several more years of this "letting go"- and when the time is right- I will simply be at peace over who he is and what he will become in the world. I have done my best (and still doing!), and I hope it is enough.


The exteneded family situation continues to become more painful and complicated. This too shall pass- and I see glimmers of hope on the horizon, and also a season of loss and change. My brother will be moved into a group home this fall, and while this is best for him, it will be very difficult for my mom. This is simply a year of transition, on many fronts- and at times I am simply overwhelmed by what the future holds. To say that things are complicated is a major understatement.

My trip with my friend H to Orlando was a wonderful gift, and I hope to see her in my neck of the woods later this month as she makes her way north to a new/old life. Most of June will be busy, but July and August are still open. If any of you plan a trip to NC- I'd love to see you- or meet you part way if we can work it out.
I'm not disappearing- but I will be below the radar for most of the summer.

I thought I would do a "farewell" video for my blog, but I can't find the $#^&%!! camera! (I'm blonde...I lost it- sorry!) I'm not giving up just yet- so if you see a video post, then you know I found the bleeping camera. (ok- I found the one without sound! lol)



For now, I leave you with a beloved poem- which carries within it the sense of adventure and joy I want to leave with you, even though a departure of sorts is the reason for the poem. Be well. I will come and visit...I will leave you love notes.

I miss you- and some of you I love dearly- more than I'll ever know how to tell you.
I will be back- for now I say "fare thee well" :)


FAREWELL TO THE FARM

(Robert Louis Stevenson)

The coach is at the door at last;
The eager children, mounting fast
And kissing hands, in chorus sing:
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

To house and garden, field and lawn,
The meadow-gates we swung upon,
To pump and stable, tree and swing,
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

And fare you well for evermore,
O ladder at the hayloft door,
O hayloft where the cobwebs cling,
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

Crack goes the whip, and off we go;
The trees and houses smaller grow;
Last, round the woody turn we swing:
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

May 30th...1969- 2008

SJ- how lovely of you to remember... Thank you :)

These are "gifts" in my yard- yes...I planted them (but not the tree- God knew I wanted one- and this one started to grow last summer- despite the drought!)

And gifts of the heart are revealed in this quote I found yesterday~

"In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers. "

- Pam Brown

I've cried 3 times in the last 24 hours- over a friend moving away, over a poem I found written by my daughter years ago in a special book we shared...and I've shed tears for no good reason at all. (something I saw on TV?)

I am getting down-right sappy in my old age! lol! :) Hugs to each of you- I'm thinking of closing Mayden's Voyage for a while- or taking the summer off. (Oh- I might start crying again!) Yes...I think it's time. Not for goodbye- but farewell?

One more post- then I'm done for a few months.

Be back soon~

Honoring those who gave their all~

Before you head to the beach, or plan your cook out, or if you are simply going to be hanging around the house and enjoying your day off- take a moment to reflect on Memorial Day.

Normandy France

Arlington


Having recently seen this film, Band of Brothers, for the first time- I must add a clip.
It was the most moving and powerful film I've ever seen. It's tough to watch, but I think it reflects the truth of what our men lived and died doing in the liberation of Europe and stopping Hitler.



Happy Memorial day- and God bless our men and women in uniform.

Oh- the places I've been!

It's May 9th (Happy Birthday Tim!) and I've been gone since May 1st...
I arrived home later today.

I spent 3 days in Myrtle Beach with family, then drove to Orlando and spent time
with the lovely and wonderful "Kate" (Helene)- who is in the middle of a move and blogging is something she can't do at the moment.

We went to the beach, we worked out together, we lounged by the pool, we drank wine and martini's and walked to the lake in her area to see alligators up close and personal! We also went to the Raptor rehab center and got as close to an eagle (and a few other birds) than I'll ever be in the wild! We also had great fun with her kids ("Can I have your number???")- who made me homesick for my own~

I know this is a pitiful re-count of the last 8 days- but I promise to wax philosophical a little later this weekend :) Enjoy the photos for now!

Chipmunk Bites...

One of my first blog posts, over 2 years ago, was a story about the time I was bitten by a chipmunk while trying to save it from my cat. It amazes me every spring how many people google "Chipmunk bite" and end up here looking for information.

So- as a public service announcement- I'm not going to re-tell the story, but I am going to tell you what to do if you are bitten by a rodent of any kind- this includes chipmunks, squirrels, mice, rabbits, or any other critter you might encounter in your back yard.

Clean the wound, and GO TO THE HOSPITAL, or your closest Urgent Care facility!

The most serious issue at hand is not rabies, even though there is the potential for that, it's a STAPH INFECTION.

My bite was a little one, and after cleaning the wound on my finger I felt I would be fine...it seemed overly dramatic and silly to go to a Dr. for a tiny, though bloody, matter. However, my sister (God bless her) insisted I go to Urgent care...so I went.

The bite did not require stitches, but it did require a host of things from disinfectant to 10 days of antibiodics. When I expressed to the Dr. that I thought he was going a bit overboard when he bandaged up my arm and insisted that I keep my hand higher than my heart for the next 24 hours, his reaction was serious.
He said, "Cora, these kind of bites are dangerous because of the germs and bacteria on the teeth of a rodent. A staff infection can kill you in a matter of days if it's not treated aggresively."

I still thought he was over-reacting until a teacher at my son's school was doing yard work and was bitten by a squirrel. She cleaned up the wound, put some neosporin on it and a band-aid and went about her business. Within 3 days she was deathly ill with a fever and an infected hand. She was admitted to the hospital as her organs were shutting down, and was on IV antibiodics for over a month. She almost died from the infection from the squirrel bite.

If you are bitten by a critter that breaks the skin- go see a Dr. It might sound silly when you confess you were a Chipmunk victim, but it's not a laughing matter.
Be seen, take the antibiodics, and be well.

:)

My next post will be about my upcoming Myrtle Beach adventure! :)

Ok, ok, ok...

It's been a long week- I'm ready for something funny...or something fun! Tell me- what is the highlight of your week...your month???

My highlight will be coming soon...May 1st or 2nd...
More details when I have them!

:)

the pic is from South Africa- a few years ago- and I felt very lucky to walk out of my room and see a double rainbow~

Red Sox win...8 to 5

Someting to smile about!
At least it was for me :) Hugs Amy! The win is a tad bittersweet when I think of you and your devotion to your team~
but it was a good game :)

My 6 word meme inspired by Foamy-

Sunlight-

Water-

Love-

Words-

Equally Powerful

_____________________________

Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).

These here is the rules:1) Write your own six word memoir.2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.4) Tag at least five more blogs with links.5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.6) Have fun.

I'm not going to tag anyone- however, if you do this- please let me know, I would love to see it.