Thursday, June 05, 2008

Bon Voyage~

The end of the shcool year is upon me, as well as changes big and small. My firstborn will go on a mission trip with his youth group to NEW YORK CITY next week. He won't be alone, but he will be parentless as neither my husband or I are going with him. He's almost 15- and he will be fine, but this packing him up and sending him out into the world is just one of many steps I must let him take on the path to adulthood.

Even though I stand in the shadow and watch him go- it's a big step for me too. The divide between being a mothering parent, and a mother of a soon to be adult is a gulf that starts out small- and widens, like a stream that turns into a river. At some point the gap becomes to wide to cross back over (and this is how it should be)...but there is some amount of grief experienced in the process. I feel it now. I felt it when he took his first step, and when he went to kindergarten...and more intensely at this moment in time. I know the ache will reach a peak, and then subside, but I'm not there yet. I assume I'll have several more years of this "letting go"- and when the time is right- I will simply be at peace over who he is and what he will become in the world. I have done my best (and still doing!), and I hope it is enough.


The exteneded family situation continues to become more painful and complicated. This too shall pass- and I see glimmers of hope on the horizon, and also a season of loss and change. My brother will be moved into a group home this fall, and while this is best for him, it will be very difficult for my mom. This is simply a year of transition, on many fronts- and at times I am simply overwhelmed by what the future holds. To say that things are complicated is a major understatement.

My trip with my friend H to Orlando was a wonderful gift, and I hope to see her in my neck of the woods later this month as she makes her way north to a new/old life. Most of June will be busy, but July and August are still open. If any of you plan a trip to NC- I'd love to see you- or meet you part way if we can work it out.
I'm not disappearing- but I will be below the radar for most of the summer.

I thought I would do a "farewell" video for my blog, but I can't find the $#^&%!! camera! (I'm blonde...I lost it- sorry!) I'm not giving up just yet- so if you see a video post, then you know I found the bleeping camera. (ok- I found the one without sound! lol)



For now, I leave you with a beloved poem- which carries within it the sense of adventure and joy I want to leave with you, even though a departure of sorts is the reason for the poem. Be well. I will come and visit...I will leave you love notes.

I miss you- and some of you I love dearly- more than I'll ever know how to tell you.
I will be back- for now I say "fare thee well" :)


FAREWELL TO THE FARM

(Robert Louis Stevenson)

The coach is at the door at last;
The eager children, mounting fast
And kissing hands, in chorus sing:
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

To house and garden, field and lawn,
The meadow-gates we swung upon,
To pump and stable, tree and swing,
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

And fare you well for evermore,
O ladder at the hayloft door,
O hayloft where the cobwebs cling,
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

Crack goes the whip, and off we go;
The trees and houses smaller grow;
Last, round the woody turn we swing:
Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!

24 comments:

Libby said...

cora, thank you SO much for that poem! i heard it when i was little, but, you know, that's many moons ago! and i like it because it exactly describes my grandma's farm, where everybody met for sunday afternoons!! and, yes, ok. you got me all teary-eyed again! (but for a happy memory, not a sad one!)

Midsummerprism said...

I'll send you an e mail..

X. Dell said...

Wow. He looks so grown. Great kid. Hope to see him if he has the time.

I'll take the "I'll be back part" literally. I'd really miss your presence in cyberspace. Still, you have enough to do in your meatspace life. I hope that it turns all right for you and your family.

I'll keep in touch while you're gone, though. How's that?

Mayden' s Voyage said...

libby-
:) I love that poem- it says goodbye with a smile...and a hint that it won't last forever. Hugs friend- thank you for being here.

Sweet friend- "Prism"- I owe you (and about 5 other people) an email- hugs to you. I will be in touch :)

X- oh...friend- how special you have been to me. I'm sorry I've been scarce. I will be back, and I will be in touch with you. Tim is hoping he will see you sometime next week- and how dear that is to me- knowing he will be in YOUR city :)

frizzy scissorhands said...

hi ... please keep in touch with me ~ send me an email ... i received some mail from you in the uk (have not been there yet to read it, though) ... and i fly back on 7.7.08. things have been crazy here.

about the little ones leaving the nest ... its a bittersweet process ~ and i think it changes some.

she said...

xdells right -he has really grown. and that smile on his face tells me all i need to know. he and the pixie will be great. and i know eventually the extended family stuff will work itself out.

i have loved you in all my manifestations. and i will miss you but we'll always have TXT.

i said this a SK9 a few posts back, but the poetry duel for your affection was the BEST of blogging for me. thank you so much for............being mayden.

i love ya grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. do stop by the yard now and then. xoxox

SJ said...

Just when I get back to serious blog reading you go away :(

Best of luck for all that plan to do.
Fare thee well too!

iamnot said...

I dream of some day being where you are with your son....
Say hi to H for me. We don't hear from her much any more.

Counting the days as always Mayden.

NYD said...

A junction. A change of direction with the twists that come from turning from one path onto another. Where one thing ends there is always the flow of energy that starts something new.

Don't worry about the boy.
New Yawk ain't so perilous.

See ya on the other side.

ThursdayNext said...

Cora, this blogosphere is not going to be the same without you. Your beauty and grace is irreplacable, and I will miss you deeply. I miss the days of K9 and you and Percy, and I am so glad they live in our archives...though I am sad these are all now archives for you!

exskindiver said...

never good bye,
just see you later.

/t. said...

<3

Effortlessly Average said...

Have a great summer and I hope to see you abouts soon!

oh, and btw, thanks for your kind words over this last year. I actually think I've turned the corner and am coming along nicely.

Hope to see you soon!

foam said...

boy, do i know how you feel about letting your son go..
my son flies to germany tomorrow with a school trip.
and without me! i'm a nervous wreck.
taking care of extended family IS hard .. xo

leelee said...

What a handsome boy..and I can see in his eyes, this kid is a star...he'll be fine and do you proud Cora..I can see it.

we are going to try to get to NC this summer. I'm jonesing for my kids...I hope our schedules will finally gel..

HUGS my friend

NYD said...

I look out the window hoping, knowing, that it's all out there.

That's how I will see you even when your not writing for us.

Greg C said...

I think I want to cry. I hope our paths cross again some day. Best of everything for you Cora.

boneman said...

well, dang.
Even without sound it's sad.

Bye, y'all.

(I don't suppose an old codger like me could convince you that I was wrong....as in, no. You can't go?
I'll bet not....)

Bad Bob said...

I will have to check the video at home, they block those kinds of things here at work. I hope your summer is nice, and I hope you'll come back to blog one day in the not too distant future. As I have said before your blog is a source of inspiration and it saddens me to think you might be leaving it.
Best wishes to you.

Bad Bob said...

Yup, I agree about the no sound...it's sad.
Thanks for your blog. I'll keep checking back.

lance said...

Keep in touch, my friend!
Blessings,
Lance
www.lancessoulsearching.com

The Phosgene Kid said...

Sorry to see you go, hope you are planning on coming back??

NYD said...

Thanks for the visit and the well wishes. I hope that life is treating you well enough that you feel like comin back to the blogworld.

/t. said...

HAVE
YOURSELF
A GREAT SUMMER

<3 <3 <3 MAYDEN <3 <3 <3

(miss you!)

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.