Mom will probably start dialysis in the fall.
75% of patients who start dialysis over the age of 50 only live about 5 years : (
Mom is 58.
I am 39~
Old enough to understand what I'm facing- and young enough to want to run. As if that would solve anything.
My kids are great, and with the exception of my father- my family loves me. Sometimes life throws tough stuff at us...
We head into the waterfall and hope for the best. Either we will drown on the way down, or we come out swimming in muddy water.
Muddy Water- yeah...it is.
Her rear-view mirror reflecting pain,
The house, good kids, and those 3 darn cats-
But Sting blared in the speakers, “She ain’t never comin’ back”.
It wasn’t the man- or dishes she was running from,
Or her angry father, or dying Mom-
Or the bills to be paid, or her lack of free time…
She just couldn’t quiet her frenzied mind.
Many choices made before seeing the whole map,
Now with hundreds of eyes all watching her back.
Some always thought she was “too good to be true”,
But a handful knew how deep she was bruised.
An ache that went to the core of her soul-
An ache pills and prayer couldn’t seem to control.
A pain that pumped fresh with every beat of her heart,
Where did it come from, how did it start?
Down I-40 she tore up the road,
Despite she had nothing- and no place to go.
She fled for the deep south, as if it could save her-
She would stop at the ocean…maybe she’d hide there.
Hide in a palm tree? Work in a bar?
Make wishes on some falling star?
Running was crazy- and suddenly she knew it…
She had to go back, but how could she do it?
She’d been gone for a while, 3 hours max-
But no one even noticed she’d left…
The Man at work, and the kids playing games-
She walked in- and nothing had changed.
At 7 pm, martini’s were stirred-
She had 3- and went to bed blurred-
Woke the next morning…wanting Palm Coast-
And found herself aching- but safely at home.
How long? You might ask…till she runs again?
Jumps in her truck- and let's her wheels spin?
Will the pain surge, or will it finally ease?
I simply don’t know- I must wait and see…