Meant to Bee~

My hive :)

Inside the Hive~

This is just one of many things keeping me buzzzy this spring! 

I have my tomatoes planted, and one of my flower beds ready...next I'll plant

blueberry shrubs :)

I hope I get some honey this summer, but if I don't, it' ok.  This has been an amazing

learning experience so far!

 (Is Blogger changing things again???)

Hugs and love to all of you :)

Grief, and the beauty therein~

Grief is a love word.

I ran into someone yesterday who I haven't seen in over 18 years...a someone with whom I carry a sad and unresolved issue from our teens.  An issue which had life changing implications and shaped me profoundly.   We've done a marvelous job of avoiding each other, and on the rare occasion when I did see him at a distance we'd sort of nod and go our seperate ways.   I have wanted to have a long conversation with this person for some time, but neither of us were able.   Yesterday, by the queerest chance imaginable I saw him, and while I was prepared to "nod and run"- he actually called me out...and wonder of wonders- even hugged me.

For a moment I stood in front of him almost speechless.   An agonizing heartbreak of 24 years sped to the surface with the force of a missle, or projectile of some kind...black, warped, hot, and pushing forward, up out of the depths of me.   I assumed that kind of depth only existed in outer space and I was stunned to discover how that sort of space could exist in me.   I can not fully express what it was like.

We spoke in general terms, and yet at one point I saw tears in his eyes when he expressed a personal thought.  He made a confession.  He asked me to stay in touch with him.  It was like I was talking to a completely different man.   I guess time and the Marine Corp will do that to a person.   Grief changed me. A grief so deep and wide it nearly swallowed me whole- so very long ago.

In the span of 12 minutes, standing in a grocery store, a long overdue healing process had begun.  

I felt waves of grief wash over me.  Loss, hurt, suffering, guilt, shame, remorse...those things were there too, but above all was grief, but more importantly, it was a shared grief.   Suddenly the burden, the secret sack of shit I've carried for so many years alone, was lifted, and shared.  

The beauty of grief is that it's devoid of hate.  We don't grieve over things we loathe, only over the things we love.  Hate would have stunted my growth.  Hate would have made the things I suffered in vain.  Hate would have kept me silent when I needed to speak out and help others who found themselves in my same situation.   Hate would have turned on me and eaten me from the inside out.
Love allowed me to slowly recover. 
Love for myself, and inspite of myself.

Grief and love, v/s Hate and apathy-
It's good to know, after all of these years, I chose wisely.

Ode to Chickory~ "Breathless"

(Something I wrote in Nov 08 at Chickory with Ande, but was then buried under other things I've written. Glad I found it...and thankful for the reminder :)



The Sun sinks on the Autumn Ridge.
I've seen her as she exits,
Viewed from way up high on the mountain side...

Down she goes, down a western slope,

Leaving the land in coolness and shadows.

Bright yellow leaves pretend to be sunbeams-

but only for this season.

The clouds settle over us in a wispy mist.
The Sun turns her back and the dampness lays in.

My fingers grow cold and numb trying to write,
Sitting by the stream as it gurggles and gushes~ swishy and swirly.


A canopy of green, yellow, orange and red tower above us,
As splendid as any cathederal, Holy as any church.

If God is in the details- then surely He exists in this place...
In the light, colors, and sounds which fill the senses.

Steep and arduous hills are with the climb-
Walk slowly, keep breathing, struggle for the top.

Then turn to see the treasure spill out before you~

There IS a difference between being breathless from an excursion-
And being breathless from wonder.
Both have their place ♥

Part of my deck is screened in.

I have 2 bird feeders on the deck and there are times when a little bird gets confused and flies into the screened-in section. A little chicka-dee found herself in such a predicament 2 days ago- flying into an area of 3 walls of no escape, and one section open to the world.

She had a one in 4 chance of easily making it out.


I stood at the kitchen window and watched her for a moment. My first impulse was to dash outside and help, but I waited. I watched her fly towards the screen and perch on it, then she looked towards the left, then the right, and then seemed to ponder. She next flew to a chair a few feet away, and again she looked left, then right, and paused for a moment.

For a tiny bird brain she seemed to be doing a lot of thinking.

Again she flew to the closest way out, but a screen kept her in. She flew back to the chair and re-grouped. In my heart I was shouting, "Little one, the way out is so close! What you want is right before you!"

Again she flew towards the screen and found herself trapped.

I felt my pulse rise slightly. Knowing I could set her right was foremost in my thoughts. I stepped away from the kitchen window and walked towards the living room to the deck door- but I was always looking through the windows and keeping an eye on her.

Before I reached the door she landed back on the chair- looked straight ahead, found her way out, and flew towards freedom without my help.

For a second I was that tiny bird.

looking, wondering...

♥

Long Overdue~

(The "news" bit of this post will be at the bottom)

I'm not exactly in the deep south, and the last few days certainly haven't felt like it either.
I noticed an interesting trend in my house today after I'd been outside taking pictures. I wonder if you can spot it?

(and for those of you up to your ears in snow all winter, you might want to skip this :)

(my bedroom door)

(Son's bedroom door)

(Front door)

Notice anything? I have snowmen ear-rings, and snowmen on my vests. It dawned on me that maybe WE were the reason for the change of weather around here! lol :) (Do not tell the Yankees who live near us, they might get mad)

(view from the front porch)

The backyard- no sign of the deer, but they left foot-prints.





As did the birds below the bird feeder-



My gorgeous Carolina Jasmine is hanging on, but I worry the 10 degree temps tonight will be hard on her.

Backyard

Neighborhood view...where did the road go?

No coon tracks- I'm guessing the snow makes them stand out quite a bit to the Owls and Hawks who live in the forest behind us~
___

___

____

____



No sunbathing this week :)

News~

Early Jan was a struggle. Mid January found me at the coast. My father in law became quite ill and was hospitalized. I went to be with them for a week to help out when he came home, and I am glad I did. Even in their difficult situation we managed to have fun and laugh and eat well every day. I did most of the cooking, as well as helped with various other things. My in-laws were happy to have me, and I was happy to be there. "Paw-Paw" is well and should recover completely.

It feels like a million things have happened since Jan 1st, but I guess it's simply the drama of life. Today is my mother's b-day and she will be 60.

Happy B-day mom :)

I have a back log of things to write, and bloggers to visit. I have missed being with you. I have missed your words and the comfort of your friendship. I have especially missed some who will not return.

I find it powerful and curious how important words can be in a persons life. Merely words. Written, spoken, texted, or emailed...they fill up the big spaces, and especially the little ones in our lives. Our words have meaning (unless you are in Congress- ugh) and they have power to sway, influence, tear down, or express love.

When the words stop- IT IS then one realizes how important those words were/are. How those messages layered in on the soul, like feathers on a hen, softly and securely protecting a treasure beneath.

If I could give you all big smoochy hug I would- lol- but since I can't- I leave you with this~

"Kind words are a creative force, a power that concurs in the building up of all that is good, and energy that showers blessings upon the world."- Lawrence G. Lovasik

and this-

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

- Christopher Robin to Pooh

:) I will visit soon~

Happy New Year :)

and this was filmed almost 40 years ago... just something to think about...

Move Over Baby Jesus~ (another true story)

Asher and I were going to my mom's apartment to take care of a quick errand on Thursday.

_

I knew he and his brother had been there the week before with their mom, my sister Robin, to help decorate "Gram's" Christmas tree. As we walked (Asher bounced) down the hallway to Gram's door I asked Asher about their visit last week.

Me: "Asher, did you and your brother help decorate Gram's tree this year?"

Asher: "Yep Aunt Nonna! It looks really good!"

Me: "Well, {STOP RUNNING!} did you put lots of pretty decorations and lights on the tree?"

Asher: (Glances over his shoulder to look at me and says) "Nonna, we put lots of fun things on the Christmas tree! When we we get to Grams's apartment I'll show you the SATAN ornament we put on it!"

Me: {Taken aback-??? }" WHHHATTTTT???!!! What kind of ornament?" (Surely I misunderstood something!)

Asher: "Yes- Gram has an Angel of Satan on her tree- I will show you!!!"

At this point I am perfectly bewildred as we walk through Gram's door. Asher bursts past his Grandmother and runs to the tree pointing..."Look Nonna, there it is! The Angel of Satan on top of the tree!"

???

?
♥♥
~♥~♥~
♥~♥~♥
~♥~♥♥~♥~
♥~♥~♥♥~♥~♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[]

???

I turn to my (God fearing and Jesus loving mother) with a look of utter disbelief and I shake my head as I say, "Mom, do you have ANY idea what he is talking about?!"

My mother, equally surprised, catches her breath and pauses for a moment, then she says, "When Robin and the boys were here last week unpacking the decorations your sister came across the old Angel we used to put on top of the tree when you girls were little."

I cocked my head and said, "You mean the slightly singed Angel that used to light up? The one we cut the wires out of because it almost caught fire one year?"

Mom grinned and said, "Yes, that's the one. When Robin pulled it out of the box she looked at it and casually stated,

"Hey, there's the Angel from Hell that could have burned the house down!"

Apparently little Asher was listenening a little more closely than she realized.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

*I'm long overdue to visit all of you and catch up- hugs and thank you for checking in on me :)

Naughty Thanksgiving~ (again ;)

I know I've posted this before- but enjoy :) (If any of you actually do this to your bird- please send me a pic- I would love to see it! I might give it a try this year :)
-

Ingredients:
1 whole chicken or turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
sprig of rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Rub butter or oil over the skin of the chicken/turkey until it is completely coated.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.

Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;

Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up, one on
each side. This way the juice from the lemon will release into the breasts.

Place sprig of rosemary into the chicken/turkey.

Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes. Remove cover and continue
to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes.

If you've followed these steps correctly, your chicken/turkey should
look like the one in the picture.

Bon Appetit!

LOL!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!

;)

Thursday night~

It's storming like mad...Ida is showing her backside as she moves north and east.

I have a fire in my fireplace, made BLT's for dinner, and had a sip (or 3) of diet pepsi and Sky.

Interesting how safe and warm I feel despite the storm that swirls around me.

The racoons probably feel less comfy- despite trying to be guests in the garage- Margaret would not hear of that (matron kitty of the house).

All the 'coons left (for evidence) were wet footprints...proof enough. Gus, however, is my buddy- and I wish him well on this stormy night. (Food is on the deck pal!)

Mom called me tonight...her heart beats too fast. The doctor made note of that fact today...but I knew it from spending a whole weekend with her. She wears out so quickly.

She said she was fine and just had a new med to add to her long list of pills, but I know what it all means...

Enjoy today. Enjoy the sound of the wind as it sweeps past you in your warm house. Love the creatures who wander upon your path. Tell your mom, or kids, or friends, or pets you love them.

The only life you can significantly change is your own. Be happy, or sour, longing , or content...in the end the game is all yours. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Sleep well tonight dear friends. I will- knowing especially that I have known what it is to be happy, and to be loved~

♥♥♥♥♥

23 million dollars~

It's all yours. Think about it. 23 million to spend however you wish...
what would you do with it?
________________________________

As I began to write my list I thought of how I would help my family, and of setting up trust funds for all the kids close to me. I would give my mom a new home, or one attached to mine, and I would find someone to help me reshape my 40 yr old body :)

And I would travel. Travel everywhere. Plane, trains, cars, and boats!

But the first order of business should probably be to launch my company
"Mayden Gobal Communications". This would be the parent company of:

"Mayden Inspiration" (cards, stationary, inspirational items, etc),
"Mayden Heaven" (cookies, fudge, and goodies),
"Mayden USA" (scarves, baby hats, knitted blankets, and hand-made items by artists), and
a magazine/newsletter which would publish travel, restraunt, and hotel reviews, as well as promote the various branches of my company. I don't have a name for the magazine yet, although "Mayden's Voyage" might not be a bad idea :)

However, with all that said- I don't need 23 million to launch a company.
I just need to do it.

Hmmm~ what do you need/want to do?

A Question~

Ok...can anyone explain to me why someone would spend $23 million (of his OWN money) to win a job that pays less than $150,000 a year? Seriously.
I can understand spending that kind of money to become the next President of the USA, but Gov of NJ??? What sort of kickbacks make that kind of investment worth the risk?
BTW- the investment did NOT pay off...

Halloween at my house :)

envy

In my verdant lush summer garden- I discovered several creatures who had taken up residence. Everything seemed to thrive in my green little corner, and I took a bit of delight in observing the frogs, plants, and 8 legged crawlers who had made a home in the space I cultivated for myself.

One spider in particular was a lovely brown fatty. She was in the process of ensnaring a fellow creature when I spied her. She was wrapping him up in a tight silky bundle for a lovely snack later. I watched her intently.

In an instant-- it occurred to me she was oblivious about such things as the BMI index, or how many grams of protein she could consume in a day, and I am fairly sure the idea of eating broccoli never crossed her mind.

She had NO idea how fat she was.

And for a moment I was jealous.

Jealous of a spider.

A Random Wednesday Post

"If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you." -- Calvin Coolidge

It is possible tough, that the ONE trouble which finds you is a doozie and not to be underestimated.

Just sayin'~

Hope you all are having a good week! :)

And /t- a special note for you:

·(•°;o?§§¿o;°•)· & ·(•°;o?§§¿o;°•)· ;) ♥♥♥!

(where else in the whole wide world can a person flirt in code- except in this forum? :) (well, maybe if I was a spy??? Hmmm!:)

"Ode to K9" (love personified? :) Aug 06)

--


Friends...on July 21st a duel was settled, and my heart was claimed by K9. As I face the end of our 30 days (Monday) - I will tell you he has indeed claimed it fully~

Dearest Pup, my Beloved, Smoochable One-

This is by my hand- and from my heart.
Painted upon the soul- in pigment that will not fade.

For you....


"Ode to K9"

Faithfulness personified…
Is all she ever wanted~
Lovers had claimed her treasured heart,
But left her soul quite haunted…

Promises made but never kept~
Mayden’s beating heart discarded…
Left alone in the bitter night…
Only wanting to be guarded.

A Wooing Poet, a Romantic Dandy,
Or a Rottie for her to choose…
Words alone, Wine, Gun, or Bone-
It seemed that Mayden couldn’t loose.

But the pooch prevailed…He wagged his tail,
Mayden loved him with all her heart-
Their 30 days have come and gone…
The Voyage ends, and they must part-

Though we laugh, and kiss goodbye,
And reflect on memories we shall keep-
Such love and joy will show itself,
In the tears that Mayden weeps~

Good bye sweet one…I love you so
And you know I always do-
In my home, my arms, and in my heart,
There is ever a place for you…

************


Farewell K9…thank you for everything- but mostly for your friendship, wisdom, and all the ways you made me feel special! Love you pooch! :)
I will EVER be YOUR Mayden In Waiting~

******SMOOCH*****
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

For K9- a companion piece for your Part 3 post~ :)

"Steadfast and Devoted Attachment" ~ And a Winner...
(forgive my use the improper noun "He" :)

K9 was Fidelity Personified,
He knew no other way to live.
He simply loved the Mayden,
His allegiance was his pleasure to give.

The Detective- Beguiling and Charming,
Waxed long about being true,
About Harmony, Trust, and Alchemy,
And something about "Bondo" too~

But often he was discovered-
Chasing hoop skirts and ladies on the net...
On bended knees he proclaims adoration-
But Fidelity? Mayden is looking for it YET.

Boneman dared not try his pen,
Against 3 in a duel over One,
Yet Fidelity seemed a virtue he grasped,
If submitted- Perhaps he'd have won!


Part II
The Maydens View






The Sun and the Moon in their courses,
The deepest roots of the tallest tree-
Not for a moment do these elements falter,
This is "Fidelity" to me...

Ever working and ever waiting,
My thoughts alone belong to thee.
My heart (and flirtations) held in reserve for you,
This is "Fidelity" to me...

A Passion that burns and leaves it's mark
On my heart for the world to see~
Your words and mine- 2 joys combined,
This is "Fidelity" to me...
***********************************

Part III WINNER

The Contest is nearly over~
And I fear there's a tie for 1st place!
The Pooch and the Wine Glass have said it best,
And Percy too has run a good race!


However, Cosmo has turned up missing!
And so Pup- Wilt thou be mine???
I know you're a dog- but you are precious-
Rag shaker, morse code breaker....

K9!!!

K9~ if accepting...is the winner :)

Mayden says-----/GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!



Part IV
A Loving Condolence...



Percy, you swayed and wooed me-
And your attraction can not be denied,
And if I told you it was easy to judge the 3,
Surely my friend-- then I would have lied!

But I saw how you eyed the lovely Miss Eyre,
And the Lady Wordsmith has captured you too-
And this Mayden feels it would be terribly unfair,
To Imprison a man such as you!

A kiss I give you as you go-
Your words have given me much to mull over...
And I hope after 30 days or so...
You might show me your Taurus Revolver??? ;)

LOL!
*smooch* to you Percy, and thank you for being the reason all of this took place to begin with! :)

Especially for K9 :) A Pup needs "Sunshine"

Good heavens...I LOVE that dog!!! :) Smooch to you friend, and finally, a rub on that belly!!! ;)