Sunshine wraps itself around me,
A cocoon of light- tangled in golden tresses-
Blue eyes peer out through dark shades-
The brilliance is too much to bear unaided.
The love that swept around me
When I entered the room-
The rush, the flutter- a Tsunami of gentle peace
Engulfed me- raptured and filled me- even with a migraine pounding-
I was wanted, missed, and loved -even by a stranger…
Known only to me by my prayers uttered for her.
I was not expected- but I was invited.
I did not RSVP- having let too many down in the Past-
from having said yes…only later to have to decline…
Due to the man of my life…having obligations that supersede mine.
I’ve downplayed my aggravation- my losses- to his career.
Tears dry unseen on my pillowcase.
Throbbing and in nauseous pain- my head wanting to explode- my spirit longing to be where I was requested…
I pleaded- “Can you drive me out there? I NEED to be at Hope’s house tonight.”
He consented- graciously, kindly…he knew what this evening meant to me.
And oh- the hugs, the love, the cries of “I can’t believe you’re here!”
Have I been that absent?
Have I wandered out of the shelter of those who love, respect and mentor me?
Far from those who’ve shared their life?
Yes I have.
In this case- it’s not the tyranny of the urgent that consumes me-
Rather the tyranny of being a single parent- a lone wife – partnered to almost a ghost- or a spirit.
And expanding my boundaries, listening to other voices…testing love-
And LOVE severely testing me.
I returned home- awash in the glow of sisterly fire.
The pain in my head easing-
My heart full from the joy poured out on me-
The moon had risen- and silver light spilled out into the darkness.
I gathered it up in my heart- and went to sleep- like a child in her
Favorite Aunt’s arms J
(that would be me- the favorite Aunt!)
I awoke this morning- in no pain, rested, and ready to reach out to anyone who would reach back.
I had breakfast with my mom, my real sisters, and some of the children of our
Family…5 kidos/babes in all, and one 11 weeks in-utero.
A table for 10 was barely big enough~
Have you tasted the sweet intangible fruit of family? (Lux, I know you have )
Family that created you, or family you created?
Have you held in your hands- the tiny grasping hands of the future?
Kissed the lips and cheeks of precious ones who will carry your love
Into generations past you?
And have you told the ones behind you- your parents- that you will
Carry their love and sacrifices beyond their grave (Schaumi- I think of you in this)…hugged them, twice-
Once for yourself, and once for a friend whose parent is gone? (Kate, that was for you )
My Spirit is swept up today in the golden light of all that’s possible-
Of all that’s probable. I am unmarred by the trauma of the past.
I am immersed in all that’s good…
Fragrant from the aroma of being around and near and inside of Love.
Breathe deep as you wander past-
Inhale, absorb, grasp hold- of the care, and thoughtfulness, and warm feelings
I send out to each of you…