Sunshine wraps itself around me,
A cocoon of light- tangled in golden tresses-
Blue eyes peer out through dark shades-
The brilliance is too much to bear unaided.
The love that swept around me
When I entered the room-
The rush, the flutter- a Tsunami of gentle peace
Engulfed me- raptured and filled me- even with a migraine pounding-
I was wanted, missed, and loved -even by a stranger…
Known only to me by my prayers uttered for her.
I was not expected- but I was invited.
I did not RSVP- having let too many down in the Past-
from having said yes…only later to have to decline…
Due to the man of my life…having obligations that supersede mine.
I’ve downplayed my aggravation- my losses- to his career.
Tears dry unseen on my pillowcase.
Throbbing and in nauseous pain- my head wanting to explode- my spirit longing to be where I was requested…
I pleaded- “Can you drive me out there? I NEED to be at Hope’s house tonight.”
He consented- graciously, kindly…he knew what this evening meant to me.
And oh- the hugs, the love, the cries of “I can’t believe you’re here!”
Have I been that absent?
Have I wandered out of the shelter of those who love, respect and mentor me?
Far from those who’ve shared their life?
Yes I have.
In this case- it’s not the tyranny of the urgent that consumes me-
Rather the tyranny of being a single parent- a lone wife – partnered to almost a ghost- or a spirit.
And expanding my boundaries, listening to other voices…testing love-
And LOVE severely testing me.
I returned home- awash in the glow of sisterly fire.
The pain in my head easing-
My heart full from the joy poured out on me-
The moon had risen- and silver light spilled out into the darkness.
I gathered it up in my heart- and went to sleep- like a child in her
Favorite Aunt’s arms J
(that would be me- the favorite Aunt!)
I awoke this morning- in no pain, rested, and ready to reach out to anyone who would reach back.
I had breakfast with my mom, my real sisters, and some of the children of our
Family…5 kidos/babes in all, and one 11 weeks in-utero.
A table for 10 was barely big enough~
Have you tasted the sweet intangible fruit of family? (Lux, I know you have )
Family that created you, or family you created?
Have you held in your hands- the tiny grasping hands of the future?
Kissed the lips and cheeks of precious ones who will carry your love
Into generations past you?
And have you told the ones behind you- your parents- that you will
Carry their love and sacrifices beyond their grave (Schaumi- I think of you in this)…hugged them, twice-
Once for yourself, and once for a friend whose parent is gone? (Kate, that was for you )
My Spirit is swept up today in the golden light of all that’s possible-
Of all that’s probable. I am unmarred by the trauma of the past.
I am immersed in all that’s good…
Fragrant from the aroma of being around and near and inside of Love.
Breathe deep as you wander past-
Inhale, absorb, grasp hold- of the care, and thoughtfulness, and warm feelings
I send out to each of you…
20 comments:
Yes, warm indeed. Great post, Cora.
thar's a bug hovering over your head, cora
squash it!
;) it's making too much cacophany..
i'll be back later sometimes with hopefully a more profound comment. got up early to do my own headache intervention.....
this is sinus/allergy related but promised to be a doozy if left untreated.
lovely post, Cora. glad you had a good visit.
wow!....how'd you do the glowy pic?!..looks really saintly pretty...
You made me remember my cell group friends from church. I wonder what they would say if all of a suddden I just appeared out of nowhere..I'm sure there's going to be a loud roar!..ha!ha!..maybe someday...
I think I've been too cooped up in work...too much of being by my own self..I've been repeatedly invited to meet with some ol' friends but just keep on giving these excuses...hmmm..this post made me think it's about time I share a bit of my shadow...
Am glad that your pretty smiling...:->
/bark bark bark
get back cadillac! outstanding arty images #2 is perfection. i love ya glowing in every sense of the word. good to roll with your litter mates like mercury sliding back into a larger pool strong and reflecting energy and light like the sun. great post grrrrrrl makes me happy!
/grrr
tsk, bubble bath with hubby? now i'm jealous. my kids got a bathroom with tub. my mom got the bathroom with tub. we got the shower......oh wait, that could be interesting all in itself... guess you can figure whose blog i just came from.
Here I was going to be profound when I came back...
but do know, i REALLY can emphasize with migraines...
and with this notion that the men in our lifes have obligations that supersede our own.....something we truly need to get over with.
Years ago when my husband's grandmother was approaching death, she finished crotcheted blankets that she had been working on for my sons. I wrote her back telling her how much this tangible proof of her love for them will mean to them
...a love that is carried beyond the grave. xoxo
Very nice. Neat effects on those pix, too.
You sound as though you're feeling better, and that pleases me to no end. It's good to be in a supportive environment, whether there's blood between your compatriots or not. I miss my family, and many of my friends at times, while I do this solitary thing I'm doing now. I know how important they are mostly because of their absence.
Hopefully they will never be permanently absent for either of us--or from anyone else here.
This was something I needed today - thank you ...
what a post!
give up spending time with your sisters/family for no one ... really. those that do tend to look back on it with absolute and crushing regret.
i feel the brilliance of this post. indeed it is almost too much to behold.
i sort of feel the opposite from you ... filled with such peace - the nagging, lament gone - at the distance placed between myself and my parents/sisters. i say this with no feelings of negativity. just ... relief.
i have arrived. will write soon. have not slept yet ... :^B
Excellent post ... those pics are amazing.
I had to laugh ... and I won't go into detail. Baron and I just met Trish last weekend in Eureka Springs. She is not my sister, but I would love to have her in our family ...
You and my brother share a love for photography.
Grunt- thank you :) You are definitely on my list of people I send warm thoughts out to~
Schaumi- LOL :) This headache has tried to come back all day on Sat...yikes!
Lux :) I wanted to give the impression of being covered in light, so I wrapped up in a sheet and took a few (dozen :) pic's- then I played around with the "Glow" feature on my photo editor- and then converted it to gray scale (black and white).
I came close to the image I had in my mind- it was fun to work on :)
K9- :) I had you in mind as I worked on this...as a muse perhaps? I'm not an artist- so the inspiration for this had to come from somewhere- I give you the credit :) #2 was my fav too :)
Schaumi-
We got the builder to "throw in" a whirlpool tub- it was the best "freebie" I've ever gotten...but trust me, we paid for it :)
The things handed down to me from Grandparents- esp things like blankets and handmade items, are invaluable to me. I hope at least one of my Grandchildren will treasure my journals- I have always written with them in mind.
Your art will be a legacy for your kids and grandkids...not that you or I are ANYWHERE near having grandkids!!! :) LOL
PW- you are sweeter than you let on! Send me a photo and I'll be happy to decorate it with my new photoshop software :)
X- I think of you often...and I hope when this season of your life is past- that it will be full to the brim of friends and family-and that I'll be on your list, and you'll always be on mine :)
I am better- but this headache keeps trying to come back. Time for bed I think :)
Baron- You are most welcome...and I send a cyber hug too :) I know you have a lot going on at the moment- peace and grace to you as you move :)
Pink- I've thought of you several times, wondering how your trip went. I am so glad you arrived safely- and I hope your arm is not bothering you too much :)
How are you? You sound good. I hope- and can "hear" that you are at peace- free from difficult things...on your own in one sense- but not alone :)
I envy you (in a good way)- this time to yourself. Time for myself is hard to come by- make the most of it for both of us :)
Tish- welcome! Thanks for stopping by. I agree, family time is special- and I love it when we are together- and I usually love it when it's time for us all to go home :) We are a loud bunch- and rather opinionated...but we are nuts about each other :) And especially nuts about the babies!
I am not sure I have tasted the intangible fruit and found it sweet. So don't relate to the experiences but I am happy that you are happy.
cora-i am VERY happy that you & all the love seems to have helped with the headache!! i LOVE those pictures! you have a new toy!! (photoshop!)
it's about 10 minutes to 7 and I know I gotta' prep up for school...don't feel like goin' but I have to...decided to pop in for a nice hello before I do...so..hello...hee!hee!..gosh...do I want to be wrapped up in something glowy as I walk to school this morning!..hee!hee!
Love the pictures! You look so transformed and angelic...
The story was so moving-- I am so glad you were recharged by your family--but sad to hear about the conflicts in your life, and the disappointments...my thoughts and prayers are with you, as we share some of the same issues...
Hang in there, angel...
hey girl ... got just a few minutes. the arm is still a pain ... literally. but i'll survive. yes i feel like i've come home and feel at a safe distance from all the bad energy. i will write soon ...
hope you had a good weekend. there a blog post about my trip and about my first days here in van ... on my wrestling with angels blog.
bye for now ...
hugz
Wow, those pictures. Soon I will email you to tell you about this conference I went to.
that was beautiful.
smiles.
your post makes me warm.
rain here yesterday and sunshine today - seems to have arrived just as i read your post.
your reach is long.
Just catching up on all your posts and dropping in to say hello. I dropped out for a few days around Thanksgiving. Sounds like yours was lovely and thanks for sharing all the recipes :)
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