Friday, November 17, 2006

Broken, Beautiful, Thankful...



www.istockphoto.com/.../Broken_bottle.html

My friend, EOR at http://cruelvirgin.blogspot.com/ quoted Plato at another blog saying that each of us is broken and looking for our "other half".

I got an immediate visual image of my being a broken tube or bottle- with jagged edges- and searching for another broken something to complete me-

And then I began to think about my "other half".

As I considered my Marriage- my union with another flawed human- I saw all the ways that we have failed to connect. I have not fully completed him, nor has he fully completed me. Somewhere, back in dusty corners of my mind, did I really think we would, or could?

I think I've come to see that where a spouse or partner is lacking, that often our friends or family take up the slack. At least this has been true for me this year.

Most of us are broken people...and I know very few who aren't. The ones who aren't broken have found a way to keep everyone out- and they are lonely- and more flawed than those of us who have been shattered.

Enemy's comment brought about introspection and inspiration- The next image to come before me was of a Stained Glass window, and all the little bits of broken glass it takes to make one.

I thought about how I am only one color, and you are one color- and in order for our window, our lives, to be a masterpiece- I have to share my broken color with you, and you share your broken color with me.

I like this analogy- the idea that we are not completed by just one person; and the more I give of myself, the more room I make for others. Certainly there are people in our lives that contribute more than most- and that is only right and good...but I don't want to miss out on those who'd add a bit of Sharp Tangerine, Cloudy Pink, Breezy Yellow, or Earthy Brown.

It would be sweet, I think, at the end of my life- if given the chance to see my years as a Stained Glass window- that I'd have to look hard to figure out which color was mine.

I hope that I would have given so much of myself away, and taken in so many colors- that a picture of me is not what would be seen...

I hope I'd see a Kalidescopic window,

Beautifully Colored,

Completed by the lives that touched mine,

And lit up with LOVE~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whether you are in the US, Canada, the UK, India, or on a gorgeous island in the South Pacific... I'm thankful for the ways your lives have touched me- I will celebrate this Thanksgiving Holiday with each of you in mind~

Happy Thanksgiving :)

I'll be around- and hope to catch up at all of your blogs over the next week :)


40 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

Thank you for the mention. I went to this conference on relationships and one of the first questions we were asked was this: Have you ever had a relationship that didn't disappoint you in some way? That floored me. The answer is obviously NO! If we live in a broken world (and I agree, we do), then our relationships reflect that we are no longer who and what we were created to be, good intentions aside. I realized that I need to go to counseling with my husband one more time, not because our marriage is falling apart but because we need to reconcile loose ends in the presence of a professional. And that still will not guarantee perfection. Only God is perfect; you and I believe that, even though I am sometimes at a loss to see it. I think we were created to be in harmony with him and the fall changed all that. So we do our best and learn to be forgiving--not an easy thing, but I sure am not perfect and much has been forgiven of me. Thank you for this wonderful post.

Libby said...

this kind of makes me think of the movie "the butcher's wife", and the 'splitaparts'...lovely analogy!

/t. said...

this
is your
best post
ever ever ever

mayden, you truly are a beautiful stained glass window

thank you

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

Boy is THIS ever tough to write. ...

...

... I ...

... agree ...

...with ...

... /t.

X. Dell said...

Broken. As in the socializing process that makes us realize that all of human life is dependent on the connectedness of the species. A lot of this post would be confirmed in terms of social psychology.

This week, I'm kinda reeling over the way I let down someone I love very much. I guess I could say that no relationship is free of dissapointment. But I hope to make amends in the long run. I would have to think that when weighed against the joy a relationship brings (between partners, family members, friends) that the balance is not in the favor of disappointment.

Mayden's Voyage said...

EOR- I love how real you are...it means so much to me- to know that I never stand in judgement before you. That is a GIFT- thank you :)
Yes, none of us are perfect- and time and time again I see what seems like trash in my life, becomes a treasure in someone elses. A chipped broken bit falls to the floor- and it's just what someone else needed. There is a blessing in that, no doubt :)

Libby- I haven't seen "The Butchers Wife"...I will have to rent it! Thank you :) Hugs and happy thanksgiving next week!

Oh, /t...you are so thoughtful. Thank you- really...your comment means a lot to me- you blessed me :)

Pug- :) I send a hug for your struggle :)

X~ I've sent you an email. You are right, the balance is not in favor of dissapointment- not when I total everything up. The good outweighs the bad...
You're in my window- you know that, right? :)
Hugs to you friend :)

schaumi said...

truly lovely post, cora.
I have always had trouble with this idea that a perfect relationship is about being one part of a two part puzzle. what a boring puzzle that would make. see, I have thought similar thoughts to you only in terms of a puzzle.....
Your analogy is much better though,
stained glass......lovely.

boneman said...

Well, if it is that all the different chips are different folks, well,....I know who the red chip is down at the near bottom.
He's always on about using the reds, y'know.

Me? I feel like one of the dark colored chips at the far edge....

....just the "holidays" comin' on.

Bird said...

this is a lovely post indeed. and yet, i resist this notion that we are broken and that only another or others can complete us. can we not be complete and unbroken as we are (though perhaps cracked, in need of glue and paint?).

but i agree that we are fuller with others in our lives.

of course, i am completely broken. more than just cracked, i often feel shattered into a thousand and one bits that have scattered and rolled across my life and i am running about, trying to find all the pieces and put things back together again. i wish someone would show up to help me scoop the pieces back together and sort them through - and determine which pieces no longer work in my puzzle and which i truly need. someone who would handle each piece lovingly, with care, with tenderness. sigh.

ah, mayden, you've made me turn philosophical and melancholy on this beautiful, golden fall afternoon and i know that was not your intent (nor is it really you that made me take your post this way - but my own self).

and yet somehow, i think i've found one of my puzzle pieces here.

thank you.

X. Dell said...

And you are definitely in mine.

Lady Lux said...

pssst..Isn't the part supposed to be today????...wTell me..tell me about the foooood!...

Oh ' Cora ( grrrrrooooan!)..I am so like swarmed here..I want to cook and pretty up my house and be thankful and bake a pie and eat one..yahhh!...but I will be working non stop for the next couple ov' weeks...I 'm almossst feeling drained...and this lovely post ypu have here simply says what I wasnt to say as well...

and I'm thinking of your lovely tomatoes and the backyard..how I wish I could drop by..

right now..it's 9:30 and I just have to get up here coz' I've been typing since 6 am...I want to eat...write to me k?

hugzzies'

Lady Lux said...

ooops..that was supposed to read.."isn't the party today?"..sowwy!

DykesDog said...

Mayden,
This is such a beautiful post. Thank you.

sj said...

Nice post!

Happy to be part of your window.

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope to see some pics :)

puerileuwaite said...

Very, very nice post, FM. What a refreshing way to look at relationships. You are way more optimistic than I.

I view relationships as the process of actually walking on these shards of glass! What did I know?

Baron Ectar said...

The church that I went to as a kid installed a stain glass window based on this theroy - I feel a serious post coming on. Thanks for this - great post!

Gary said...

I know a Lady who lives on a gorgeous island in the South Pacific. She's very nice. And she has a great blog too.

Lady Lux said...

psssst!!!...So sorry about the litter of typo errors on my last comment...I was so tired..and yah' i got ur' letter so I'll email you a bit later after I finish eating my instant chinese noodles..I'd much rather have what you prepped up in the party...awwww'..just thinking about all those food inspires me to ...cook!..LOL!..But no can do right now coz'..I have to finish up something for this Japanese guy who constructs pipelines ( ye'..I was thinking how exciting..the pipelines)...and my deadline is on Thursday and I haven't even started the second manual yet...no worries..I'm having an eeny' weeny' bloggy break before I start...and yah'..come on over with a bowl of something nice..I'll pick up bread from the Deli and cook up a mean spags!..yah!

kate said...

your post was fabulous! I LOVE the staind glass thought and will have a look at Enemys blog later!! I really have never thought about it in that manner. The one thing that came to mind while I was reading was how totally different everyones window would be. I ran across a blog where a meme indicated the writer was shy and knew many people but had a select few she called friend... I bet her window would be less colorful but NO LESS BEAUTIFUL! I bet I will be thinking of this topic all day!

xoxoK

Mayden's Voyage said...

Schaumi- Have you ever seen that show on PBS where the lady makes Stained Glass Windows? Oh- she is amazing, and I would love to take her class someday...but, what I noticed was how she cuts the glass and makes it like a puzzle. Then she fits all the pieces in with lead (came?) and solder- and I tell you, I have never seen such beautiful things! :) Our lives need other lives to be complete...I'll be sure to remind myself of that during the holiday with all my families- in laws and all :) LOL- I'm teasing :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

Boneman...you are no dark chip in my window! :) Blue, blue, blue...like the sky, like the water, like a song that makes me smile. I think of you everyday- each time I walk into my office!!!

But we'll let K9 be red! :) Love that :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

Bird- I've re-read your reply several times- and I tear up each time I do! :)

I only know that if there were nothing "broken" in me...I'd have nothing to give away. And while I wouldn't want to re-live the things that shattered me- I will always be thankful to be able to love someone through a difficult time, because I survived it.

Something Brilliant will come of your broken bits...there is already too much sparkle in you for anything less :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

X- I'm glad :)

Lux- Girl...I've sent you a note- take care of yourself. I WISH you were here for the holiday, we would have SO much FUN! :)

D'sDog...thank you for being here :)

SJ- I so enjoy getting to know you :) I hope one day our paths will cross :)

PW- pup...come on over and climb up in my lap- I'll bandage those paws of yours :) Here's a kiss on your nose................
Hey! Stop licking me!
LOL!!!

Baron- I'll be checking at your place for the serious blog :) You are a dear- no doubt :)

Gary- we have GOOD taste in friends! :)

Lux- I so wish I was on my way over...I need to be there as much as you need to be here! :)

Kate- Isn't that the greatest thing? We will all end up as different Masterpieces...and lovely- as long as we don't keep too much to ourselves.
I totally agree :)
Hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving! :)

Sean said...

this is a beautiful post. what i really like about it is the realization that 2 people together, no matter how wonderful aren't necessarily enough for each other. so many people feel so slighted if their significant other has to go to other places to really fill in all the little missing spots. and if they were honest with themselves, they'd realize that if they'd open themselves up as well, they'd find that they could use a couple more friends as well.

the pink reefer said...

hey you ... nice post. i recall, many moons ago, in a classical mythology class hearing a story about how, once upon a time we humans were hermaphrodites, so to speak - had a male and female component, joined together. something happened to split us all apart - i suppose the broken analogy works for that concept. and the story goes that forever after we are searching for that lost part of ourselves. i do feel like this about my marriage. like - my husband completes me.

i know this for fact, because i am here without him, facing the prospect of several monthes without him near me. and i feel like a friggin amputee! plain and simple. nothing, no one ... can replace that. its a scary feeling. but that's what i arrive at, here, on my own.

regarding the colours. like the analogy - the concept of it. but ... i feel like just being one colour is soooo restrictive. i feel like i am every colour. but not all the time. and it changes. from moment to moment. and i think the people i encounter have the effect of changing my colours.

enjoy your thanksgiving.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Amen Sean...amen- and it took me 17 years to figure that out.

Not to say that my husband isn't the most important man in my life- he is- but it's very unfair of me to expect him to meet every emotional need I have, and vice versa.
There are boundaries that I dare not cross...but lots of freedom within those parameters. No need for me to skip a girls night out- and no need for him to skip an evening with the guys. There is a lot of trust between us- and I am grateful for that- but it wouldn't be much of a relationship if we didn't have the trust factor.
I'm blessed- no doubt :) And still figuring stuff out! :)

Happy Thanksgiving to you friend- hope yours is WONDERFUL! :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

Pink- Hello :) I was just thinking of you as you were writing this! :)

I thought about the color thing...and sometimes I feel the same way- that my color could change...but then I see that for me it's mostly the same- just a lighter or darker shade...you know what I mean?

YOU were the cloudy Pink in my post- did you get that? I hope you did :)

I can see you being like a "Mood Ring" lol- I say that with love :) Firey red in the presence of one, and cool blue in the presence of another...and a gentle yellow with someone else entirely- like your brother.

Jeesh girl...If you only knew how often I think of you- pray for you...wondering how you are and how the people you encounter respond to you...and I wonder how I would- if I met you on the street.

My best friend in high school was a PUNK ROCKER :) She shaved one side of her head and bleached it blonde, the other side was hot pink. I came to school in wool skirts and dressy sweaters and moderate heels.
We were the only white kids in our class- we were in an inner city school...and yes, we had plenty of black friends- and enemys, but we knew we were different from everyone else- at least on some levels. And she and I were the Sun and the Moon when we were together.
You remind me of her...

Hope you have a lovely week too- thanks for being here :)

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

mayden i never had the notion of being completed. im was always pretty comfortable with incomplete and its many perks /howl

just like a big "I" on a term paper and the "see me" in red. jury's still out. incomplete means....the path is not set absolutely.

happy thanksgiving to you grrrrl i will be dreaming of your pies and savory southern masterpieces.

sending a wag
up 'ol 85

/(soft) grrrrr

Mayden's Voyage said...

Beloved Pooch- none of us are completed until the very end...finished or not :)

I still like the idea that you are the color "red" in my window :)

Happy Turkey day to you too :)
Believe it or not- I made fudge today and packed it up to mail out to you tomorrow :)

/grrrr!!! :) (You do have to share it with Freya! :)

And I will be making pies indeed!

schaumi said...

mayden,
i'll see if i can't find the stained glass artist on pbs.
you have a great holiday with all your folks, incl. your in-laws..:)

K9 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K9 said...

/bark bark bark

sorry mayden i had a fur malfunction and wrote too long a comment...the cliff notes are: happy thanksgiving mayden fair...southern light....muse of all time! and a good day to all your bloggas

/grrr

iamnot said...

Don't hate me 'cause I tagged you....
http://mothandflame.blogspot.com/

X. Dell said...

How are you doing down there?

DykesDog said...

Happy Turkey Day!

/t. said...

happy
thanks
from canada
to all of the
american bloggers

/t.

the pink reefer said...

i get you ... yes mood ring is right on. the sun and the moon ... that is great. you know me already ... ;^B ...

its funny with me and people ... some dilute me ... some intensify me. i guesss its the energies that people bring with them to any interaction.

wishing you a lovely thanksgiving.

JL4 said...

That's a really well written blog.

Good job

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