My name, Cora, means Maiden, and we are all on a journey-hence "Mayden's Voyage"
I am a writer, mom, sister, daughter, and friend. I've been a blogger since 2006 and have met the most amazing people in the world because of it.
"What you say- IS what will happen." I am a firm believer in the power of words...both my own and yours.
♥
Sunday, May 06, 2007
And now for something completely different...
Just thought I'd do something funny for you... I'm reading a book which advocates the NEED for me to do at least ONE THING I enjoy EVERY DAY!
Laughing is my thing...I love it. The only thing I like more- is making you laugh.
Can't say that I do blonde jokes, but I do know a few New Jerseyan jokes.
(1) A New Jersey woman kidnapped a young boy. She wrote a ransom note saying, "Put $50,000 in small non-traceable bills next to the sliding board in Oak Park by noon tomorrow, or you'll never see your kid again. Sincerely, A New Jerseyan."
She then pinned the ransom note to the boy's jacket, and sent him home.
The next day, the kidnapper went to the sliding board in Oak Park and found the fifty grand, along with a note reading, "How could you do this to a fellow New Jerseyan?"
(2) A New Jersey guy sees his neighbor, who motions him to come over. The neighbor says, "I think you ought pull down your shades when you go to bed. Last night I got a glimpse of you and the Mrs., you know, really going to town."
The Jersey guy laughs, "Joke's on you, moron. I wasn't even home last night."
(3) A couple from North Jersey decided to head to the shore. Driving down the Garden State Parkway, they see a sign saying, "Manalpan 10 miles."
The wife reads, "Do you want to stop in MANalpan to get something to eat?"
The husband says, "You dolt! It's pronounced ManalPAN."
After arguing for five minutes over the correct pronnunciation of the town, they agree to stop in Manalpan and ask someone there.
They pull up to a fast food restaurant. He says to the lady behind the counter, "Before we order, can you tell us where we are? And say it real slow, so my wife can understand you."
The young woman dutifully says, "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiiinnnng."
(4) Did you know that being from New Jersey is a lot like being drunk? Either way, you get really emotional, you talk too loud, you never make any sense, and you can't drive a car.
BTW, I loved the carrion joke, She. I'm gonna remember it.
ha ha hahaha hah aha hhahah ahhah ahahah ahah aha yhhaaha hahah haha ah ahahah aha ah hahahhaha ahah hah ah a hahh ahaha ahh ahaha hahhahahah a ha hh ah ah ahaha haha hah aha ha hahahaha hahhahahahah ah ahah ahh ah ah aha hah aha ahah hahahah ahaha haha hahaha hahah ah h a hahah ahah ah ah h a hah ah a haha hahah ah aha ahh ahahahah ah ah a ha hahah haha hahahahah ah ha haha ahhahah a hah ah ha haha hahaha ahah a hh ahah ah aha hhaha hah ah ahha hah aha hahah ha hahaha hah ahah haha ahah ha hah ahahah aha hah ahah a ha ha!
whoa -- really gotta find a shorthand for this laughing out loud thing...
X- The Burger King joke was my fav- are you home now? Did you have fun in the desert? LOL!
Phos- I asked my son, "What's the difference between an elephant, and a banana"...he said, "One has a trunk"- LOL...he gets to do the shopping from now on! :)
/t- I sincerely hope that you did not hurt yourself :) lol!
SJ- the politician joke was classic...loved it :) And laughing with me is so much better than laughing AT me, however, both are done quite frequently around here! ;)
Bar29- I couldn't ask for better weather, or better friends- hope all is well with you too :)
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. >> >> When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. >> >> The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" >> >> The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." >> >> The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" >> >> The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes." >>
22 comments:
grrherhaha! first commenter!
'morning sunshine. too cute are you.
so did you hear about the vulture who tried to board the airplane with two dead raccoons?
the flight attendant said: "im sorry sir, you can only have one carrion"
grrrherherhahaha
happy sunday mayden
silly girls.....lol....the both of you..
foam
Can't say that I do blonde jokes, but I do know a few New Jerseyan jokes.
(1) A New Jersey woman kidnapped a young boy. She wrote a ransom note saying, "Put $50,000 in small non-traceable bills next to the sliding board in Oak Park by noon tomorrow, or you'll never see your kid again. Sincerely, A New Jerseyan."
She then pinned the ransom note to the boy's jacket, and sent him home.
The next day, the kidnapper went to the sliding board in Oak Park and found the fifty grand, along with a note reading, "How could you do this to a fellow New Jerseyan?"
(2) A New Jersey guy sees his neighbor, who motions him to come over. The neighbor says, "I think you ought pull down your shades when you go to bed. Last night I got a glimpse of you and the Mrs., you know, really going to town."
The Jersey guy laughs, "Joke's on you, moron. I wasn't even home last night."
(3) A couple from North Jersey decided to head to the shore. Driving down the Garden State Parkway, they see a sign saying, "Manalpan 10 miles."
The wife reads, "Do you want to stop in MANalpan to get something to eat?"
The husband says, "You dolt! It's pronounced ManalPAN."
After arguing for five minutes over the correct pronnunciation of the town, they agree to stop in Manalpan and ask someone there.
They pull up to a fast food restaurant. He says to the lady behind the counter, "Before we order, can you tell us where we are? And say it real slow, so my wife can understand you."
The young woman dutifully says, "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiiinnnng."
(4) Did you know that being from New Jersey is a lot like being drunk? Either way, you get really emotional, you talk too loud, you never make any sense, and you can't drive a car.
BTW, I loved the carrion joke, She. I'm gonna remember it.
What's the difference between a banana and an elephant? You don't know? Well then I certainly won't ever let you do my shopping!
If you are stumped for gift ideas for Mayden, a joke book might be just the ticket...
ha ha hahaha hah aha hhahah ahhah ahahah ahah aha yhhaaha hahah haha ah ahahah aha ah hahahhaha ahah hah ah a hahh ahaha ahh ahaha hahhahahah a ha hh ah ah ahaha haha hah aha ha hahahaha hahhahahahah ah ahah ahh ah ah aha hah aha ahah hahahah ahaha haha hahaha hahah ah h a hahah ahah ah ah h a hah ah a haha hahah ah aha ahh ahahahah ah ah a ha hahah haha hahahahah ah ha haha ahhahah a hah ah ha haha hahaha ahah a hh ahah ah aha hhaha hah ah ahha hah aha hahah ha hahaha hah ahah haha ahah ha hah ahahah aha hah ahah a ha ha!
whoa -- really gotta find a shorthand for this laughing out loud thing...
/t.
Why do they bury politicians 12 feet under?
Coz deep down under they are good people.
Why did the blonde (or NJ-ian for X-Dell) run after breaking an egg?
The instructions said: 1. Break Egg. 2. Beat it.
Well I did laugh with you if not at your joke ;)
thanks, I needed a chuckle! Blonde jokes crack me up! Hope it is sunny in your neck of the woods!
She-
LOL- loved it...and my kids got it! :)
Foam- :) Silly, yes :)
X- The Burger King joke was my fav- are you home now? Did you have fun in the desert? LOL!
Phos- I asked my son, "What's the difference between an elephant, and a banana"...he said, "One has a trunk"-
LOL...he gets to do the shopping from now on! :)
/t- I sincerely hope that you did not hurt yourself :) lol!
SJ- the politician joke was classic...loved it :) And laughing with me is so much better than laughing AT me, however, both are done quite frequently around here! ;)
Bar29- I couldn't ask for better weather, or better friends- hope all is well with you too :)
nya..hee! hee! hee! to all zee' jokes here..great way to end me day...thanks...
will write tomorrow..
Why? Why?
hehehe.
Hi Cora,
I have a
Report Card for Mothers
that I would like you to fill out.
will you?
~chesca
It made me laugh. I needed a good pick me up. Thanks for making my day.
Greg
I didn't get it. Oh wait. You explained it at the end.
:-)
haha.
cute ... real cute.
love that carrion joke. chickie.
Dork.
But a very very cute and lovable dork.
You rock!
ok, so jokes are out of there, how is your singing?
Okay, I'm going to tell that joke at work tonight to all the patients that are awake after midnight ... more to come!
ack. i need to get home so i can watch this!
its a good thing you are cute Cora! lmao... that joke was... ummmm hehehehehe awful!!!! loling
Happy BD to Tim!!
oh and a blond joke for ya:
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
>>
>> When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
>>
>> The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
>>
>> The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
>>
>> The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
>>
>> The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."
>>
Now there's a blonde joke I've never heard...but the sparkle in your eyes, and your laugh made it so funny.
I envy you the time to bring so much of yourself to us.
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