Sunday, September 24, 2006

13 Candles

24 years ago I had my first "Boy- Girl" birthday party...I turned 13.

Today, we celebrated my son's 13th birthday.

24 years ago, the man who would become my husband- came to my party, along with my best friend Chris, and several other kids.

I thought long and hard about the girls who would be at my son's party today.
There were only 2-my daughter, and my best (the same one!) friend's daughter.

My parents were here today, as well as one of my sisters- in all about 18 people.
I am blessed.

Lately I've been depressed- and struggling- and so tired...this has been one of the hardest years I have lived through.

And yet- today, as I stood in my kitchen- for just a second- looking at all the people who were there...dear friends and family...I felt awestruck that I have been given so much.

That 24 years ago I had a birthday party- and some of the people in my life then are still with me- still love me- still want to be with me. I am amazed.

My son's party was great :) The boys sat on the deck and ate dinner, the girls sat in the dining room chatting.

I had to laugh...some thing never change!
At my party, the sexes sat on opposite sides of the room from each other. When I asked Tim to sit with me on the couch- he consented, but sat at the far end and said, "This is as close as I'm getting!" :)

He did get closer eventually ;)

Please... If you want to~
Tell me about 1 of 2 things.
Either tell me about your 13th birthday....

OR, tell me what you were doing 24 years ago.

I can't wait to read your stories :)


SJ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SJ said...

I am not mazed that people want to be with you. Happy birthday to the new teenager.

I don't remember a thing about my 13th b'day.

24 years ago I was in my first ever year of school!!

luxlucisvita said...

I am drunk...but let me think twenty four years old was I then if I am 38 now huh?..38 - 24....gawd the math...okay...I was probably on top ov' some ree trying not to fall off....yes..oh' yah...when I was 14 i got my first kiss...a real quick one though...when i turned 16 the kiss became better...he!he!...when i was 13..i tink..i must have ben dong summer classes in algebra...gawd! i glad i'm 38 and drinking this!

luxlucisvita said...

oh' Happy Birthday happy birthday to your kiddo' son's birthday will be on wednesday..or thursday..??...ya'..he'll be 17..

Anonymous said...

I don't know anyone from when I was 13, except my parents, and I'm not sure about them.

/t. said...

for my
13th birthday
i received a
pocket transistor radio
from a great aunt -- one of those portable 8-transistor units in a simulated leather case and complete with a little earplug thing

it was made in japan and smelled very 'solid state', pre-LSI IC


The Grunt said...

24 years ago I was running away from "ghosts" in our basement. That, and I shot my neighbor's windows out with my BB gun. Oh, and I had just started little league football.

boneman said...

Lessee.....24 years ago...
Just starting college fer the second time. Commercial Art.
Not all that exciting.
But, thirteen?
Just got into school in Fort Wayne and what a difference from the year before at military school in Tennessee! And then the year befor that Minnesota, before that, Germany, South Carolina, Texas, Florida, Louisianna, Arkansas, California, Japan, and born in Georgia.
Fer the next few years I was going to be a mess...

boneman said...

Happy Birthday to yer son, but, really, were y'actually thinking that there would be some similarity between yer b'days and folks y'ended up meeting up with?

My brother is the only one still in communication with since thirteen.

Anonymous said...

happy birthday to your son ... and congrats to you too - its sorta your birthday in a way ...

i am your age, so 24 years ago takes me to 13. i don't have a nice sunny story like everyone else. i just remember that i don't really because i spent so long trying to forget that age, that time in my life.

i remember having lots of scalding hot showers in which i rubbed my skin off. i remember crying in secret alot ... i remember feeling insignificant and invisible.

i remember telling my best friend (with whom i am still friends, btw) a dark, ugly painful secret and i remember that is when i decided to lose myself in school work so i could forget my awful home and family life.

i remember that the only good thing about 13 is that it ended - taking me that much closer to adulthood and independence (away from the krazy makers). sorry for this depressing story, but that's my 13 story.

my son will turn 21 in january. wow. where does the time go?

re: depression - take stock in all the tiniest things in your everyday life that make you happy. there are so many, i'm sure. look to the light - indeed, we have all been given so much, we see it so much we don't see it.

regards to you and your family ... :D

Mayden's Voyage said...

SJ- :) Thank you for the kind remark. My other best friend from that time period died a few years ago...
Your first year of school- I'm guessing you were 5 or 6? I remember my 1st teacher and a few of my friends- the way Elmers glue smelled, and love for sliced tomatoes in my lunch- even if they were drippy! :)

Lux- Hugs to you! Hope you didn't wake up feeling icky! :)
Wish I could be there with you~ having a drink and being thankful for friends, and first kisses, and then the better ones that came later! ;D
(T's b-day is on the 28th- but we celebrated it early because of the trip coming up this weekend. Our sons might have been born on the same day? Oh- that is COOL! :)

Iamnot- LOL! I know for sure about my parents- my dad at least...I'm so like him it's not funny!

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

seems like the vibration in the blogosphere right now has a bit of a blue note to it!

i ran away for a while. i dont know where i was on my 13th birthday.

i once rode a bike over 20 miles just to get a kiss when i was barely 13. i was motivated!!!


K9 said...

/bark bark bark

er, forgot to wish maydenson a good birthday.
so a fine rottie howl to the newly minted teenager.
strap on your seatbelt mama!


Mayden's Voyage said...

/t- remember the gift? Ugh- I have no idea what I got- probably clothes, and maybe a radio? No- it was a tape recorder, which my sister and I would use to record Saturday Night Live :)

Oh We had an old dusty basement that we would roller skate around in a circle ...and cough up dust and coal particles for days after we skated! Dad wouldn't have stood for ghosts in the house- he would have prayed them all out. I'm serious.
Do you still like football? I love to go to football games, but mostly for the weather and the food :)

Boneman...Wow (again)- that's a lot of traveling for a kid! My mom was like that with her dad being in the service.
As far as the birthdays being similar- I did find it wonderful that my friend from 13 was at my son's 13th party- with her daughter who is 12. I know life goes in cycles and sometimes we are on similar paths- it's just cool when it's a best friend who's with you :)

Velvet- I am sorry. I knew there would be at least one less than sunny post- but I wanted to hear it anyway. Thank you for telling yours. There is much wisdom in your posts- and I read what you write carefully.

I marvel at how some kids grow up with krazy makers
and it forces them to make a way for themselves, and how some grow up with everything and are flaky.

I was in the middle of the 2 extremes. We had enough to get by, and had to work for everything else. No-one harmed me until I was in my teens- and that was someone outside the family.

I'll take your advice and pay attention to the little things :)
The year is getting better- the summer was difficult...I'm ready for the new season.
Best regards to you and yours too :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

K9- Thank you :) You ran away? I did too- but at 16...and came back about a week later- but difficult things were brewing~

20 miles for a kiss?
Smooch! You don't have to go quite so far these days for one, do you? :) Of course, I'm sure, the real one at 13 was slightly better! lol!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I can't remember my 13th birthday at all; I only know that was the year my folks divorced. Now to think about 24 years ago--definitely not married then!

Aunty Belle said...

Happy Birthday Mayden's Boy!! This will be a fine year fer ya'son...youse nearly a man now and there is much adventure ahead. Listen ter ya Mama and mostly thangs will work out right. Aunty Belle done said a li'l prayer fer yore 13th year.

Mayden, chile' doan fret too much over depression--iffin' ya can, keep in mind that some thangs is ligitimately depressin!

Most of them pass--we work through our troubles and disappointments. All that said, never hurts ter git a full hormonal profile done by yore doc iffin' the blues last too long and doan seem ter be conencted to an actual tough situation. I means a full hormone--not jes' lady hormones, but thyroid, adrenals...

LuxLuci, sugar, whas wrong? You blue too? Mercy. Hope you haid ain't bangin' today.

That is good advice from Velvey--look at the bright places and recall how many times worries we "borrowed" turned out OK...

Velvey, chile, I'se sad ter learn of your early hurts. Ain't no easy way past that. Iffin' ya can summon the moxie, try ter refuse to llet the past define yore future--and maybe youse already doin' that....such good advice ya gave Mayden.

K9, ya ran off a the yard?? Hoo-whee! Yep, I sees that blue tone in blogosphere.

Well...on mah 13th I was allowed to shave mah laigs the first time--got a real jewel ring from mah Daddy, along wif a lecture on boys. Din't get no kiss till I was 14, an it were'nt much. But at 15 I met Uncle, and them kisses sent sparks flyin' on mah front porch. No datin' till I'se 16, ya see, so we had ter make do on the front porch swing....when mah tad pole li'l sis would leave us be.

At 11 o'clock I had ter git upstairs ter bed, so Uncle kept mah Mama company til his buddies took they dates home at midnight and them fellas began the night fer real...uh huh.

Course, I'se ole enough *now* ter see that Uncle and my Mama is suspect--he being 17 and her being j redheaded beauty of jes' 34, and Daddy asleep across the house wif' National Geographic on his chest. Ter this day mah Mama doan drink nuthin' but vodka and grapefruit juice...on account of her not likin' the smell of liquor and Uncle showin' her how vodka doan bother ya none like that...yeah.

/t. said...

it's an odd thing, eh... i do remember that little radio so clearly, though it has no special significance for me other than it was a 13th bday gift -- i think the 13th birthday itself is significant


puerileuwaite said...

Those days are one big blur. I do remember that I was really into building plastic model airplanes and spacecraft. I went through model airplane glue like crazy. It wasn't the "safe" "wussy" kind of glue they sell nowadays either. This was the toxic stuff. Fortunately my exposure didn't cause any permanent brain damage. Fortunately my exposure didn't cause any permanent brain damage.

Anonymous said...

dear mayden ... thanx for your kind words ... i sometimes find it hard to follow my own advice. so much so that i have decided to make a concerted effort to generate more positive energy.

of course .... y'all gotta know there's a blog involved, right? lol. yeah. i started a blog devoted just to celebrating all of life's graces. its sorta to balance me out. so i don't get mired in all that poop out there. anyway, just wanted to share the link with you. for those days when you need some sort of odd visual inspiration.

i forgot to say happy birthday to your son. :D

hey AB ... i hear ya ... :D

Bird said...

24 yrs ago or my 13th birthday?

i had a slumber party with 4 grlfirends. we of course stayed up all night long and did silly, girly slumber party jokes and tricks (you know, you pluck a pelvic hair and try to make it lay flat on a piece of paper, while someone is recording your words - then plays them back -totally out of context and being 13 you laugh and laugh. the joke is only good once - cause after that, everyone knows what's going on.

in the morning, my dad made strawberry pancakes - the cakes piled high with fresh berries and whipped cream.

i still have the picture of mona, sue, joann and me,all smiles and gathered at the dining room table set with my mother's best china, her crystal bowl filled to the brim with berries.

thanks for the opportunity to share this!

happy birthday to your son!

and well wishes to you too!

JL4 said...

13? Lemme see...4 into 14, carry the 2...round it off and add a zero or two...move the dot...

Yes, here it is in the Math. I was 13 in roughly the year 1874, give or take a decimal point.

Remember? Yeah, sure I do.

schaumi said...

24 years ago i was working at a merowingian archeological site in Germany. I carefullydug up ancient merovingian gravesites. You could tell the burial site due to the discoloration of the earth. I would always start in the middle and carefully shovel and scrape. the last thing i wanted to encounter first was the skull or the teeth. always kind of shocking to scrape away and with the next scrape you reveal a bunch of teeth. I would rather encounter the hips first. Of course that didn't always work if the grave site had been plundered. oh, well i'm starting to right a post here. i should stop and turn this into a post. btw, I was the only gal out there. what memories..

schaumi said...

happy b-day to your son, btw

X. Dell said...

Well, it looks as though your son's marital choices are limited to your best friend's kid.

(Just teasing.)

It actually sounds like a wonderful party with the two girls on one side of the room, and all those boys on the other. I'm sure the girls had a good time watching the boys act awkwardly.

Let's see. On my 13th birthday, my parents forgot (until my sisters' birthday five days later). So nothing happened, really. It was just another day.

It was better than my fourteenth birthday, however. Better by a longshot.

My first boy-girl party was at my seventh (1969). I think I have a picture of it. I'll mail it to you. I'm sure you'll get a kick out of it.

I've had good birthdays too: 21, 24, 34. My 40th was interesting. I spent the whole day investigating a fire.

Twenty-four years ago, this day, I was (1) going to classes, (2) leading the marching band, (3) enjoying the company of my girlfriend, and (4) rehearsing for my theatre troupe's production of William Saroyan's Time of Your Life.

ThursdayNext said...

I love the juxtaposition in this post, Sweet Mayden. More to come Friday about NYC...this week is kicking me to the curb!

Sigh. 24 years ago I was 4 years old in ignorant BLISS as a child, playing with Pound Puppies and Cabbage Patch Kids, thinking the only bad aspect about my life was that I couldnt eat chocolate 24/7.


That is STILL a bad aspect of my life.

Anonymous said...

Are we limited to "fluff" memories, or can serious stuff be spoken of as well?

I'll wait for your answer before posting

Mayden's Voyage said...

Whew...This has been great...
I'll send you a reply soon!
All comments are welcome Anon- serious and fluff.

Anonymous said...

I was 13 in 1970, and in the 8th grade. Each evening around 5 pm my dad would come home from work and eat dinner, then he would take his place standing by the front door of our house, slightly back from the door – as if he didn’t want anyone to see him standing there. You see, in 1970 my brother was a Marine in Vietnam. My brother and his best friend had joined together, and on a black and dreary February day, the US Marine Corps casualty assistance team visited the home of my brother’s best friend to deliver the ultimate in bad news.

My dad stood in that door way every week night and most of every Saturday and Sunday, awaiting the Marine Corps contingent that I can only thank the Lord never came.

I watched my dad - younger than I am right now - grow old in front of my eyes. Those nights where he stood his post and said nothing were agonizing for everyone, but they were always handled with dignity and reverence. No one told my dad to stop doing it, and no one argued or fought over the fact that he did. His first-born son was in a tough spot, and the thought of losing him was evidently overwhelming for my dad. For one solid year, my dad stood his ground, as did my brother a thousand light-years away. I do believe that together, along with the help of the deceased friend of the family, they made it through 1970.

That is my memory of my 13th year. Sorry it’s not a chipper one

Mayden's Voyage said...

EOR- My husband's parents divorced when he was 12- and I am often surprised by the huge gaps of time he can not remember...and the small things too- and I remember most everything.

Aunty Belle- you make a good distinction between depression (which works from the inside out) and oppression (works from the outside in)...and I see there's been plenty of oppression going around. That has helped me- it really has. I've been taking what the world has set before me and injested it- and I need to spit it out. My insides are good...thank you for helping me to see that :)

/t- 13 is is 16, and 18, and 21. I remember thinking when I turned 23 that there wouldn't be another important b-day until I was 30! LOL! They're all important! :)

PW- I hope you have a good Dr! :)

Velvet- I will read your posts- thank you for leaving the link here :)

Bird- that was so much fun- letting us see it the way you described it...such a happy memory. Thank you for sharing it! It was lovely :)

Schaumi! I am jealous! I was a complete dino freak as a kid...all I wanted to do was dig up dinosaur bones- heck- I dug for them in my own back yard! :) Awesome story! LOVED IT! :)

X~ :) The pic was adorable- except I was terrible at picking out which one was you! And I was so sure too~

The worst b-day I had must have been in my late 20's or early 30's (I have to look it up)- I was at my in-laws with a stomach flu. A miserable day- but only one :) Thank goodness! :)

Miss E- I can only imagine you at 4...cute and covered in chocolate! :) And I imagine you were well versed in Beatrix Potter and Mother Goose by then too! :)

Mayden's Voyage said...

Thank you for this. Your dad, like thousands of others- held the line for their sons the best way they knew how- with love, support, prayers, and patience.
I don't have a son at war- but I'm often praying for those who do.

Malinda777 said...

Oh 13, just on the farm. 24 years ago I was 19 (sounds old when I write that)... I was just married and had my first born (23 now the softball player) at 20.

Many good years though. I'm envious that you still have some of those people with you today.

I have that in my heart, but I moved away very far from all those I loved then. Still talk to some of them on rare occasion though.

Happy Birthday to your son. Glad to know the boys and girls still do the same things.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Thanks Malinda :)
I've never moved- never lived anywhere but here...and after reading your reply- I realized I take a lot of people for granted.

On the other hand, some days I'd love to live elsewhere! :)

b said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
b said...

ok - lemme try this again! the 13th birthday wasn't memorable enough to remember so there's that.

And 24 years ago I was 15 and I was all awkward and teenagey and it was ick! I did get my first boyfriend then so I guess I wasn't too icky!