Thursday, February 16, 2006


We, like many, have had an awful time with telemarketers.
I've subscribed to the Do Not Call list, which has helped.
However, before that came around I decided that instead of getting frustrated, why not turn it into a game?
So, one night the kids and I sat around the table and came up with a few ideas to try on the next caller. My husband and son are of the same name, so when someone called for "Dad", I would put "son" on the phone, who had been rehearsing and dying to take a went like this.

(me) Ring...Hello?
(dude) Hello, may I speak with T?
(me) Uh, yes, hold on a minute...(I call the son)
(son) Hello
(dude) Is this T?
(son) Yes it is (and he was not lying)
(dude) I wanted to talk to you about signing up for the BlahBlahBlah phone plan
(son) (pause) Would you like some cake? (he can not say this without laughing a little)
(dude) What? Excuse me?
(son) Would you like some cake? I've got cookies case you don't like cake. How about leggos? I've got loads of leggos...I love my leggos...leggos and cake!
(dude) WHAT??? Is this T???
(son) Look dude, do you want some cake or what?
(dude) CLick

And we all fell on the floor laughing. T had to stick to cake, cookies or leggos in the conversation. Just ignore what they say and ask the same questions over and over again, like they do to us.

The next call got even better...

Ring, Ring...
(I can tell it is a telemarketer (with 99% accuracy) because the phone said unavailable) I answer the phone by saying--in my best radio DJ voice:

HI!!! This is G107, you are the 10th caller and you've won!!!
(caller) Ummm, uuughh...Can I speak to Cora B____? (they ALWAYS get my last name wrong because it is difficult, Norwegian!) SO I repeat myself:

You are the 10th caller!!! You've won!!!
(Caller) What?! Are you serious? I won something? You're kidding!
(me) (Smiling while I speak with a strong voice) Yes, you are the 10th caller, and if you can tell me what the last 3 songs were, you win the prize!!! What were the last 3 songs?
(caller), Uhhh, oh, I don't know. (sounded dejected)
(me) in my fake sympathetic voice...I'm sorry M'am, try to be a better listener next time!
I hang up.

We all fall down again on the floor laughing.
Sometimes I answer in a made up foreign language. I heard someone on TV answer the phone in Tahiti- or someplace- and they said, "Agga-Naagga-Be-Sigh", which I thought was the coolest thing ever and started answering the phone like that no matter who called. Everyone who calls me has heard me say it, so they don't act like it's anything anymore, but it throws the telemarketers!

If any of you reading this are telemarketers, I apologize, but I guess it's better than getting sworn at, which I would not do. They have a job to do and I appreciate that fact, but so do I. Part of it includes teaching my kids how to deal with people in creative ways when they are bugging the stuffing out of you.
It is all about attitude, all about how you look at things and decide how you are going to let it affect you. Have fun. Take the medicine with a pinch of sugar.
Have a great day today! :)


kd said...

What a hoot - I must try that sometime!

Fraud and Robbery said...

That was pretty funny. And a great response to those annoying phone calls.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Thanks Kd and F&R! We have had a lot of fun with this...hope you will too! :)

A Bass-ic Individual said...

Agga-Naagga-Bee-Sigh??....isn't that Portuguese for 'This coconut has an African Swallow inside it'