Public reactions to the slimy news about men being sexually inappropriate
surprise me. In my lifetime we, as a
society, have moved from the mentality of “Boys will be boys”, to “He looked at
me in a creepy way and then I felt ashamed and violated”.
Women, primarily, are coming out of the woodwork to accuse men
in power of basically chasing them on the playground and pulling their pigtails
in elementary school. I clearly remember
being chased (it was a game we played… Boys Chase the Girls, and Girls Chase
the Boys!), caught, held down, and kissed by the boy I had a crush on in
kindergarten. Then I walked around
wiping my face and saying, “Ewwwww! He is disgusting!” All the while feeling quite smug I had at
least been kissed and not had a frog slipped down my dress. It was the WAY we played as kids, and as we
aged we continued to play in a similar way.
We wrote messages on paper passed
in class, a risqué song dedicated to someone via the radio- and all of us were
listening to the same station back then, an anonymous butt grab at a ball game,
or a quick kiss in the parking lot. Go
this weekend, to any high school ball game- look for yourself. Little has changed.
Most of us were taught the moral boundaries of what was
acceptable touching and what was not. Some did not get the memo.
However there is NO such thing as MORALITY in Hollywood, nor in
politics. I dare say the Catholic church
itself has paved the way for some of this depravity.
Currently we have ladies complaining of being touched, or an
unwanted kiss, lewd suggestions on elevators, and texting/flirting in a sexual
manner as if this was an absolute violation of their personhood. The missing ingredient in most of these
accusations is violence or malice.
If anything we are grossly diluting the actual definition of
Sexual Assault, or sexual violation.
This is where we enter the slippery slope of intention. Men do stupid things. Women do stupid things. There are evil men in the world, and there
are evil women in the world, however-
mostly people are dumb. Sexual
assault is a crime. Being violently
abused or mistreated is wrong and punishable.
Men can be irritating, tacky, immature, and thoughtless, but that isn’t
a crime. Men in power don’t suddenly
become angels or Saints, and the women they work with shouldn’t become weak or
have less backbone in their presence. A
simple, but firm, NO would have put an end to many of the less startling accusations
of sexual advances. However, the ladies I’ve been reading about lately would
rather pout, play victim, and point to the brute. Who, in fact 20 years ago might have been a
brute, but has matured, made himself a better man, and hasn’t the slightest
idea who their accusers are today.
Women, and men, who have been truly victimized, are getting lost
in the shuffle of oh-so-many flimsy accusations. Ladies being invited to a hotel room, for any
reason, should be clued in there are other ideas afoot. Men who are applauded behind closed doors,
or at a roast in their honor (Lauer), but bashed in the public spotlight for
butt pinching and creating a sexually charged workplace does not balance
out. A double standard seems to exist,
and a lot of angry and repressed women (in vagina hats) are riding this wagon
as far as it will go, whether they were truly violated or not. I also find it curious that everyone accused
is famous or well known. We are now in
a climate where an accusation equals guilt and that is a violation in and of
itself, and it helps no one.
The real victims of sexual assault, by all means, should come
forward, but not go straight to the media, which I believe weakens their
case. Go to the police, call an
attorney, and go to a domestic violence support group. The ultimate goal of a victim is to be a survivor
and not become a different sort of perpetrator, like the kind who ruins the
life of another with mere words.
Ladies and Gents wake up.
No one should be abused or violated, although it happens every day. Since the dawn of time people behaving poorly
has often been the rule and not the exception.
-Cora Blue
12.13.17
No comments:
Post a Comment