It's One O'clock in the morning...Damn-it- listen to me good~ (Elton John)

I can't sleep.
I wander around in my old blog (and others) looking, reading, remembering- and mostly I am trying to be (mentally) somewhere other than where I am physically.   Except I'm in one of my favorite places in the world, but under extreme duress.   Life is hard at the moment.

My father in law, at the coast, fell on July 4th and broke his hip.   He's in liver failure, has A-fib, and a large pleural effusion- along with pneumonia.   The hip replacement is a walk in the park on it's own...but nothing short of a nightmare with all the other ailments.   We were here with him when he fell.  T had gotten the boat in the water and Mom in law had the steaks in the fridge for dinner that night.   My father in law was excited to get on the pontoon boat and was on his way to the dock in the marina when he lost his balance and just fell...one wrong move and everything has come to a grinding halt.

The local hospital was not equipped to do surgery.  It took us 24 hours to get him stabilized.   Another hospital was alerted, and they accepted him, but they had no open beds.   After another 24 hour wait and still no beds- I started getting fussy.   In 11 hours his hip will have been broken for 3 DAYS.    3 DAYS of waiting, watching blood tests, listening to him rattle with pneumonia and fluid on his lungs.   3 DAYS of morphine and adult diapers...and beep, beep, beep- blood draws, vitals being recorded, PAIN, no sleep, worry, agony, nausea (mine), phone calls, aughhhhhhhh :(

And yet I have found things to be grateful for in almost every set back.   His nurses were amazing and wonderful.  The ER is a dreadful place to be anytime of year, but especially on July 4th weekend.    He was treated with such good care and respect.    I have friends at Duke in key places, as well as a sister who works at UNC- and "Pawpaw" is being transported there NOW- even as I write this.   In 2 hours he will be in place and hopefully being seen by the Ortho team and being prepped for surgery within the NEXT 24 hours.

I will drive home in a few hours and wait with the kids who are dealing with all the feelings that come with a Grandparent whose life is in danger.   We all love him.  He served in the Korean war.  He was a fire fighter at Pope Air-force base for 25 years.  He was the deputy fire Marshall with the town of Cary for almost 20 years.
He's a good man, a hero, a father of 2, a step father of 1, and a Grandfather to 5, with one on the way.   We have a long road ahead of us, but my hope is that in a few weeks we'll all be back here again...with the boat in the water, and Pawpaw on board, and steaks in the fridge for dinner- and we will celebrate the 4th of August- and our independence- and I won't have to look hard to find something to be grateful for.

I guess I should go to bed now?  
 ♥