A little prevention/treatment humor for those who find little to smile about with their investments these days . . .
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink on average 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that on average Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!
Thanks to my friend Paige for this one...it was too good not to post! :)
13 comments:
41 miles to a gallon is not bad but with hybrid engines y'all might be able to improve on that :)
I like it.
lol.
So let me get this all cornfused: I orta stop investin', and start drinkin' while I walk ;)
Since my 401k is currently a 100.25c minus, I reckon that's good advice LOL...
sj,
we are all hybrids over here in the usa anyway ..
so, we should be able to do better with our hybridness ..
here's to getting more gallans per mile ..
i'll start right about .. later sometime ..
I get over 80 miles per gallon on the highway in my Honda Insight....have to drive 55 tho.
Around town it kind of sucks at about 60-65.
My personal mileage is higher than average as I walk about 4-5 miles a day on my job. You'd think I'd be skinny. :-(
if you
signed on
to the mayden's
blog just one year ago
you are immeasurable richer today
♦ ¤ ¤
<3
Speaking of 401ks...just got my 3rd quarter statement. Since I don't cry, the only other option is to laugh and forget the retirement plans some years away...
witty and clever! loved it....
This was good, real good. I will have to get my students to figure out what the milage is like on sake.
We no longer get the deposits on the cans here, but try getting a thousand beers for $33 bucks. Obviously a better investment.
grrrherhahahaha to /t.
youre the best mayden. xo
That was definitely worth a chuckle or two :) Gotta laugh.
Hope you are doing well.
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