Monday, September 22, 2008
Be with me...
Breathe deep- It's good to be alive. Very good.
The cool fingertips of Autumn reach out for me...
A few leaves swirl to the ground- yet the heavy resplendent green of summer hangs on.
I love this time of year, especially when I see it through my mother's eyes, blurry at times, but she takes nothing for granted. Little kindnesses I might overlook, or say "thank you" with half a heart- but not her. She notices a person's attitude and thanks them for simply being cheerful.
I made a special gift for my brother, an photo album just for him, one he can take with him when he moves to his group home. My mom wept when I showed it to her. She cried over every page and photo, every sticker, every detail...I knew she would love it, but I didn't expect her to cry. She wept silent tears that spoke more loudly than a parade of gratitude.
I can not remember the last time I wept with thankfulness. I think I'm overdue.
It seems lately the ache of too many things has crept in like a suffocating blanket. Pain has a way of making us forget to breathe, but "numbered" days remind some that each breath is special, important- and limited. Certainly we take for granted those things which seem promised to us in each tomorrow...and yet there are no such promises. This moment, whether it's full of pain and confusion, or joy and clairity, is the moment we can claim. Fortunately these moments do add up in the treasure pile of our heart, or sadly, in the trash bin. I hope for you, and for me, the treasure pile is higher than the trash pile when we come to the end of each day, but some days I know that's not the case.
I have no good reason to complain about anything. My home, my family, my freinds, my health, all are in-tact, but my spirit is wandering. It looks for music it's never heard, longs for a wine it's never tasted, yearns for a love I've never experienced, grieves over something/someone I have not met.
Tonight as I walk in the moonlight and listen to the crickets sing me a wild tune with no words- come and be with me. Tether your heart to mine- forget the things that keep us apart like time, space and distance... and just be.
Be with me.