When Perfect is the Enemy of Good

In this context I'd like to consider the word "Perfect" as an absolute in comparison to the word "Good" which can vary in meaning and by degrees.

My backyard- Nov 6th

I read a quote this weekend which said emphatically, "Perfect is the enemy of good". The writer was speaking of food and cooking, but the quote hit me with such force that I re-read it several times- out loud (to the puzzlement of my husband) and found the words wedged into my brain like a doorstop.

I was having an "Ah-ha" moment. Perhaps I was also having an "Uh-oh- Ouch!" moment too~

Thoughts, images, feelings, and principals swirled around me, as if I were standing in the inverted pinnacle of a whirlpool or a tornado- I could SEE dozens of areas in my life floating past me where I definitely needed to apply this new idea, or suggestion, that "Perfect is the enemy of good".

In parenting, marriage, friendships, writing, weight loss, health, my hair (gasp :), time spent, events to be planned, the upcoming holidays, gift giving, religion (I have to think more on that one), exercise, cooking, cleaning (!!!), decorating, communicating...


Ahhh- it was dawning on me...crashing on me actually...of how often I strive for "perfection"- knowing full well that it is usually out of my grasp, and being disappointed with the "good" I achieve.

It is maddness.

Perfection is about CONTROL.

Good is about being at peace and exhibiting grace in less than perfect situations- which are the norm!

It's an amazing thing to see someone act or perform with "perfection"- or as close to it as can be imagined. I think of people like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, or my grandmother's crocheted blankets. I think of Emeril's standing rib roast, poems by Robert Louis Stevenson, and paintings by Ande Cook ;)

Is there anything YOU do perfectly? I make a perfectly wonderful chocolate chip cookie, and sometimes I make the perfect pan of fudge. Some days I have great hair :) --and that's it for my list of perfections. :)

On the more important topics- like parenting and marriage- I tell you honestly I am far from perfect...but not far from Good. My kids, my husband, my home, and most of my friendships are---good.

There are things in my life, of course, that are bad; but "bad" is not the opposite of perfect. Much like the opposite of love is apathy- I think the opposite of perfection is insouciance, or detachment. To simply not care.

I know in some ways and in regards to some people I care too much- and I try too much... because I want to be perfect for them, or to be the perfect friend...or the perfect "meeter of needs". I am realizing (painfully) that in some things, and in some relationships, I must settle for "good"- because in truth- "Good is better than perfect". And, I realize that if "good" is not good enough (for certain people, or situations)- then I have to them let go.

I believe in there are areas in life when we need to perfect the natural skills we were born with- those skills which came to us with ease...those are things that each of us are meant to do- and do well. But those skills are on the short list.

Everything else we have to work for- and I have to stop beating myself up in the areas where I fall short.

I'm not perfect.

But I'm good- or at least trying to be :)

I'll be off line for a while except for a quick post here and there. I'm up to my ears in family stuff at the moment and this might continue through January. I'm not being distant- I promise- I'm simply in over my head for now- and I HAVE NOT RUN OFF WITH PHIL! :) But don't tempt me! :)

You are all special to me- I just had to say it :)