Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Yellow StarThistle...part II

Yet, as she towered over me...smirking, all I could say was,

"But he didn't break my heart.   He Marked it.   He changed it.  He reminded me of how it feels to be loved".
She immediately diminished in size by a third.
Eye to eye- facing what was really a demon of sorts which I had left to grow and mature on the manure of regret and sorrow in the fields of my own soul- I realized I could manage this weed.

I asked her, "Does anyone walk away from an encounter with the divine and remain unchanged?"
She shuddered.   I asked, "What is the first thing the divine always says?  FEAR NOT!".
Why?   Because they are too wonderful, too profound, too glorious for us to understand without collapsing with fear."

The weed began to turn brown and shrivel.

By now- I am towering over her...shouting "How dare you try to corrupt something made only from love?   How dare I allow you to take root and suffocate the flowers in my garden heart?!  How dare you tarnish my memories of him with your slander and lies?!!!"

She could barely whisper, "What about your pain?  What about your loss?  What about the void he left in your life?"

"GRIEF!"  I shouted, "Is a LOVE word!"

With a shudder and a tiny whimper the prickly monster fully wilted and collapsed.

Weeds are interesting creatures.   Their roots can go deep and lie dormant for a very long time.  Roots have to be pulled up and burned.   Even part of one left behind can cause problems in the future.   Keeping a vigilant eye on the garden is necessary even when it appears there is nothing untoward lurking in the ground.  


That beautiful man peeks in on me every now and again.  His love is real and so is his beauty.  When I see him or hear him he still makes my heart flutter.   I am drawn to him like a moth to a flame, except this flame will not burn me...it simply bathes me in light and reflects his goodness and love.

Yes, my heart was marked, and he is not capable of breaking it.
His graceful ways and thoughtful words, in the midst of his own burdens and struggles, are fresh air and sunshine to my heart.
To paraphrase an old movie, "He makes me want to be a better woman".

Which is precisely what one would expect in an encounter with the divine.


David...by Michelangelo


kitty gomez said...

Grief ... the price we pay for love.

X. Dell said...

To elaborate on what Kitty said, it's the price we pay whether the person is torn from us, or close at hand. She's right. It's the price of admission. Those we love continually break our hearts. Usually, it's never a big deal, especially when you compare that to all the times they mend us and more.

Since I don't really believe in talking star thistles (and I guess you don't either), I take it that it is simply echoing a sentiment somewhere within the mind of the narrator. If that's the case, how does one control, shrink or eradicate the "weed" without doing the same to self?

Just popped by to say Merry Christmas, and that I'm thinking of you and yours.

Anonymous said...

Oh...X-Dell! Hugs :) Merry Christmas!

You asked, "how does one control, shrink or eradicate the "weed" without doing the same to self?"

The entity in question here was self doubt and fear...seeds planted by someone in pain and feeling a bit slighted...she wanted to share the wealth- so to speak.
The more I questioned my fears and doubts- the smaller they became.
Unfortunately it seems I need to talk them down just about every day, but at least I can :)
I need to email you and catch up.
Hugs friend ♥

Anonymous said...

I would bet, with all that I posses, he would say to you,
"All that you see in me is simply a reflection of you... YOU are the light, YOU are the divine, YOU are the love... and sweet Cora... you ARE loved. Beyond what you know and light years beyond what you imagine, you are loved... purely, deeply and completely".

Then he would take you in his arms and dance.

Blue said...

Then...Sweet One, I will wait for that dance ♥