Monday, May 14, 2012

BOOBS: for sex or food?

The brew-haha over the Breast Feeding mom on Time Magazine didn't disgust me, or make me proud, or even surprise me all that much.  My split-second initial reaction was "Why does a 6 yr old have his mouth on that woman's boob, and why is he standing in a preschool chair?   Next, as my eyes drifted to the title "Are You Mom Enough",I felt a tiny urge to slap the 105 lb woman whose posture and look seemed quizzical and defiant.   I myself, being a well endowed woman, could feed an entire nation of small babies with just ONE boob if I thought it would have made a difference*, but sure as hell I'd have cut the kindergartners OFF!   (Otherwise, this leads me to thinking of the awkward conversation I'd have with the Kindergarten teacher about Johnny's feeding schedule and making sure he drinks ALL of his pumped human milk at lunch time,...blech!)


 The loud and mixed public reaction surprised me more than anything.   The above photo was TACKY.  However, just about anything I walk past on the news stand/magazine isle is TACKY.   People have lost their common sense, which of course explains anything about TV programs involving Housewives with more money and mascara than they know what to do with.  This also explains Coco. On a public beach in Miami.  Seriously.

Later when I discovered the little boy in the TIME  photo was only 3 (almost 4, but tall for his age?), I started thinking about the creepy moms who put lipstick and fake eyelashes and press-on nails on their little girls and put them on stage at the tender age of 3.    How would you like to be nursing this precious little face plastered with Maybeline and Cover Girl?   I've never tried to get lipstick off my nipple before.  (Wait, there was that one time, but NO children were involved!)


I breastfed both my kids, and I did it as privately as possible.  To me it was an intimate time of caring for my children in a way that only I could.   In that phase of my life I did think of situations and times when a mothers milk was all a child needed to be nourished, and she did so for as long as nature intended.   Weaning usually happens when a child develops teeth and wants something more solid than milk.   Baby birds learn to fly, baby cows move on to hay and grass, human children move on to cheerios, cheese puffs and mountain dew.

I don't blame a mom and dad for wanting to hold on to their babies for as long as they can...because they indeed grow up SO fast.  I agree with families and Dr.s who think kids are pushed to grow up quickly and are over involved in a myriad of things to keep them busy...mostly because parents are afraid they aren't good enough at parenting to begin with.   The TIME magazine article didn't help much, well, except for their bottom line I'm sure.

We live in an insane time.  I wear more clothing when I take a shower than Coco wears on a public (and non nude) beach.   Kids on Toddlers and Tiaras wear more make up in one photo shoot than I wear all year.   And if I ever figure out what a "Snookie" is and how it got pregnant, then you'll know I've been kidnapped and chained to a tv and forced at gun point to watch damn Yankees ruin their livers.

Breast feeding, like reading a good book, or kissing your favorite someone, is a pastime a person can do anywhere, but not something we should demand the rest of the world to take part in, or insist they watch, or take tacky photos of to sell magazines in the name of "public discourse".    Furthermore, asking the ridiculous question "Are You Mom Enough" is only going to drive flaming arrows and razor blades into the hearts of mothers who desperately wonder every day if what they do is enough, and are they doing it right, and how screwed up will their kids be when they really do make a mess of things.  

As for the lame ass loser moms who don't give a shit and never think twice about rum in the mountain dew to make their 6wk old baby sleep through the night, this article has no effect.   And their boobs, trust me, are only used for making more babies, not feeding them.

Maybe I should write an article for TIME  which exposes the truth about boobs... which are good for both sex, AND food.

 BUT I doubt though anyone would read it :)  It would be full of common sense, and thus boring.  


*breast size has NOTHING to do with the amount of milk a woman can produce.   It was a joke.   But I do  "look" like I could feed a nation of hungry babies

**post edited after re-reading and editing.   Who knows how great a 3rd draft might be!   (my mantra to my kids...always WRITE something 3 times....always.)  



13 comments:

tinkerbell the bipolar faerie said...

Yeay. That photo is beyond tacky. But they've got people talking ... which I suppose was the whole point.

dianne said...

A great post dear Mayden and yes that photo is tacky. I breast-fed my three babies, but it was done discretely, a personal experience, it was a part of bonding with my babies, not a spectator sport for all to watch. I cannot understand these Mother's or parents who push their children into these beauty pageants, with so much make-up they look like mini adults ... let them have their chidlhood, their innocence at this tender age, they will be in the adult world all too soon.

xoxoxox ♡

Skunkfeathers said...

Coming from the other gender side of it, this seems to be more of the Left trying to further fan the flames of the alleged (and 100% false) Republican war on women. It's propaganda and utter nonsense, with no pun intended ;-)

/t. said...

mayden rocks

always

but skunkfeathers, buddy, really?

lefty plot, you figure? man, the left got no exclusive rights to stupidity -- no more than the right

whatever happened to freedom and tolerance in the usa? lost it seems along with that common sense

/t.

Have Myelin? said...

i can't believe how tacky that picture was. problem is, when that boy grows up he's going to be known for that picture...

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Tinkerbell, you are right and well loved here. Thank you. I suppose the magazine sold a bizzilion copies, which was more the point than women having an open conversation about nursing kids who can write their own names in crayon. I don't have an issue with moms nursing thru the age of 3, but beyond that- it's just weird. Weird is ok in my book- but I take offense when I'm asked if "I'm Mom Enough" to fit the standard of someone who is way way way outside the box. To be clear, I'm NOT IN a box, I'm in my own time zone- and further still I'm General Manager of My Universe. Trust me, I WILL not be a feature on TIME magazine anytime soon. I look like everyone else, but you know as well as i do...I'm NOT like everyone else :) Hugs and love to you my dear friend.

Sweet Dianne, yes...children should enjoy childhood for as long as they can, it passes swiftly and leads to old age in the blink of an eye. I will be 43 next week- but remember being 5 like it was yesterday! ♥

Hugs sweet lady!

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Skunkfeathers- my dear (and much loved) friend...I really hadn't thought of the article as an attack on women, but your thoughts on the subject made me think. Most of the conservative women I know (in my own circle) are pro breast feeding at all costs. My liberal lady friends are split between breast feeding and going back to work and pumping. Women, I find, in general want what is best for the baby...but conservative women are more likely to give up a corporate position in favor of their child, while the woman on the left strives for a foot in both worlds. Both have valid reasons.

I'm offended by women who look down on me for trading my job at DUKE to stay home with my kids, and I'm appalled by women who use their kids as an excuse to go on welfare. I did neither. I DID give up the DUKE position to work where I could take my kids with me, and I never took government assistance- though it might have been helpful. The greatest treasures of my life are my children.
I wish everyone else in the world thought and felt the same way.

My dear and beloved /t- I have missed you. Thank you for being here. Freedom and tolerance are sticky issues, even when it comes to the young, and worse the unborn.
One one side we have a mom pushing for nursing rights to the extreme- and on the other hand our prior first Lady shouting "every child a wanted child"...meaning the converse of what she says with equal passion. It feels so strange to me to live in an era where killing the unborn is resaonable, and breastfeeding in public is immodest.
YOU my dear, ROCK :) And yes, stupidity is not an exclusive right for anyone, or any party...we all fall into it from time to time ♥ (Joe Biden and Dan Quayle being excellent examples :)

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Myelin, I wouldn't trade places with that kid for anything in the world! But she will probably home school him for the next 6 years...hopefully that will help a little :) Good to see you, as always! :)

J Cosmo Newbery said...

There was a time when I suspected Mrs N. was going to be the proud mother of the worlds first fully breast-fed league footballer. But they dropped off long before 4 years old.

foam said...

Speaking of being able to nurse an army .. I could have actually done that.
I'm convince I was a wet nurse in another lifetime. I had an ABUNDANCE of milk.

I think my husband probably felt the same way Cosmo did. But, then they did gradually wean themselves off.

I never really nursed in public that much, although at times I felt a bit put off feeling like I had to find a dressing room in order to nurse, even though I always had a shawl to cover me and baby up. The moms who bottle fed were out in public however.

I stayed at home with my children during their early years. I don't think the choice to breast feed or stay at home is a right wing or left wing issue at all. Often times it's an economical issue.

I never looked at that photo as a political issue. However, I haven't read the article.

soandsosaid said...

Great post!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Mmmm...odd post to be saying this on but never mind: Happy Birthday, Australian time. Yes, that's right, you can start celebrating now!

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