Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Left Handed Fun and Fumbles...

With the knowledge my right hand will be of little use to me after the carpel tunnel surgery next week- I've been trying to see what I can and can NOT do with my left hand...I mean, there are people who have lost limbs via accidents and injuries who play basket ball, and play drums, and cook, and make beautiful paintings holding a paint brush in their teeth for heaven sake!  Surely this minor surgery will not be a big deal for me?

The results are comical and somewhat humiliating.   I can brush my hair, and my teeth, and put on most items of clothing.  However, a bra is going to be tricky.   For fun I tried on a sports bra one handed and it worked out ok- but it's amazing how much twisting and jiggling, and adjusting is necessary to make it fit properly with TWO working hands- much less one.   I'm sure I would have won a "funniest video" award if it had been on tape...thank GOD it IS NOT on tape!
Buttoning blue jeans is right out.   Blow drying my hair is almost impossible.  Putting on mascara with my left hand is tedious.  Making tea (thankfully) is no problem.  Opening items with a twist off top requires me to sit down and use my legs as vice to hold whatever needs to be opened.  Texting left handed is a hoot!  (if you have free texting, text me- I'll gladly email you my number).   I'm a rabid texter with both hands and I can write paragraphs easily in a matter of seconds, but left handed my answers look like a 2nd grader got my phone and started drinking.
Text from daughter:  Mom, what are we having for dinner?
My answer, left handed: Wwe 3e having trky w greebeans.   Ughhhhhb

Something about the "alt" key makes the letters A and R the number 3.   Don't try to understand it, but trust me, it's a disaster when I text left handed.   A touch screen phone would be a big help- but I'm not sure that's in the budget right now.

Of course I won't be driving for several days after surgery- so I won't be a menace on the road.   Showering is ok, but washing my hair will take extra time.  I'm thinking I just need to go to the beauty college for a cheap wash, dry, and style.  Maybe they will do something jazzy with my barbie hair?   I'm sure by Friday after surgery I'll be happy with anything they want to do.   (the friend who does my hair lives about 20 minutes away, and I'm not going to be up for the drive- but the beauty college is 2 miles from my house).
I am, thankfully, proficient at all other bathroom requirements.  'Nough said about that!

I tried writing the alphabet with my left hand...then a complete paragraph.  It's mind blowing how perfectly well I know how to write letters and form words, and how idiotic and elementary my handwriting looked when I was finished.   I would have guessed it was written by a 7 yr old if I hadn't written it myself.   AND to make matters worse- I couldn't focus on the content of what I was trying to write because I was focusing so hard on HOW I was forming each letter and word.   It was maddening.   I will not be signing any checks, or sending cards with handwritten notes for a while after surgery.   (unless I can sign the card as if it was from my 6 yr old nephew Asher :)

Cooking is a slow and arduous affair with one hand.  Cleaning is too.  Playing Angry birds kind of stinks left handed!  (Poor me- not!).   Using the remote for the TV is a skill I have mastered, as well as opening Dove chocolates, sipping hot tea, reading my Kindle (and other books), and feeding my bunny.   It looks like I have all the important stuff figured out :)

For fun, try not to use your dominate hand for just 15 minutes during your day.   I was going to say try not to  use it all day, but that seems unfair.   Just 15 minutes.  (Hint, open the wine bottle before you start the 15 minute exercise- you will be glad you did- lol!)  

I can not complain.  This will be a temporary set back and will make my life better when it's over.  I'm sure the real adventure will be even more interesting (like putting in and taking out my contact lenses- I haven't tried that one yet), but I probably won't blog about it much---I hate having to hunt and peck!   But who knows- I might! :)



Libby said...

cora, you have all my sympathy & best wishes...& hugs, of course!! you will beat this, & come through better than ever!
& ck out my blog, i'm actually being honest aboit my health & stuff:-(

foam said...

all the best on your surgery! good meals to serve when left handed ..
take out, meals prepared by children
:), meals prepared by spouse ..
speaking of spouses.. i'm sure you can get help with those bras ..

Bad Bob said...

A motorcycle accident in my senior year in high school left me in the same predicament for 6 weeks, so I feel you awkwardness. You will get better with practice. Even so, you'll not get comfortable with it for such a short time.
I would say sweat pants would be the uniform of the day.
I'll bet the bra video would go viral or be worth $10,000 on the funniest home video show.
Besides, you'll find you can do a few things with your right hand without straining it.

X. Dell said...

I don't think they could show that as a video on AFB, but if they did, I think you'd take the prize, for certain.

I don't know where it is, but I had an ancient copy of Dragon around here somewhere. They say the newer versions are easier to use, but it might be something to look into for after the surgery. Meanwhile, I'm going to look for that disc.

Roxanne/tinkerbell the bipolar faerie said...

LOL. I had this surgery, but on my non-dominant hand. I've not as yet been brave enough to have the surgery on my dominant hand!

My brother broke his collar bone when he was a teen, and that led him to teach himself to do things with his left hand. I think that to this day, he is ambidextrous.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I guess knitting is out of the question...

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Libby-thank you...I'm on the mend :)

Foam- hugs and thank you- at times like these I kind of wish I was married to at least a chef :)

Bad Bob- I'm glad, on day 8 after surgery, I've suffered only a few embarrassing moments, and thankfully none have gone viral on youtube :)

X- always good to see you. I've gotten hooked on Dexter- lol. If you've never seen the show, you should...I'm through season 2 now!

Roxanne, the pain was so great and so constant in this hand I couldn't bear it anymore. The Dr said the nerve is usually white in color, when he saw mine in surgery it was blood red and angry- which sounded about right in comparison to the pain I was feeling. If I ever need surgery on my left hand- it will be a walk in the park! :)

Cosmo, my dear, what are your favorite scarf colors? I will be up and knitting in no time! ♥

Skunkfeathers said...

You'll bounce back better than ever. And who could have a better 'nurse' than Pixster?

Merry Christmas, my friend.