Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Paradise from Fire...

I found a post recently from a blogger that I've been reading for over a year.
He posted this:


You can’t have passion
without having hope.
When you have passion,
you no longer fear.

While I agree with his statements above- I have some questions...
and I had a vision.
I'll start with the vision.

I saw a volcano.
Liquid fire gushed up through the top and spilled over the sides of the mountain...burning, rolling, inching it's way towards the water below.
The lava was beautiful, powerful and intense.
Absolutely nothing could stand in it's way. It consumed everything in it's path.
Plants vaporized from the heat long before the lava got close to them. The whole landscape of the mountain was altered.

Over time and as it moved it's color changed. Slowly it lost it's bright red intensity as it started to cool. Eventually it turned into what looked like black stone...barren and porous.

What had been a vibrant, hot, moving, molten mass of melted earth was now something completely different. It had become rock hard- black- and very sturdy.

What if passion is like lava?

What if, over time, passion completely changes it's form and function?
What if what you experienced early on in your relationship is unreasonable to expect later on?

What if you are unprepared for the truth of that transformation?

What if you keep expecting the red hot stuff, but only find black rocks everywhere?
Did anyone tell you this would happen?
Didn't you see it your parents marriage? Or did you chalk it up to apathy, or old age, or not pay any heed to it?

The passion couples have for each other is not always like it was in the beginning- sometimes not even close. However, the poem above makes a profound statement...
"When you have passion, you no longer fear"-

No fear of being alone. No fear of rejection- (at least in a healthy relationship.)

Passion becomes one of two things, as I see it. It either burns up and burns out, or it transforms into something solid- something you can build a relationship on.

It's interesting to think of liquid fire becoming stone and then supporting life. It does not seem possible, and yet-- look at Hawaii. A whole chain of islands created by volcanic activity- now lush and green and full of living things.

What is better? The burning hot lava- red and fiery- and a wonder to behold? Or the stunning plant and animal life that's taken over every square inch of the islands?

It's difficult to comprehend in the lava stage that things are going to change so very, very much.

And hard to imagine, when standing in Paradise, all of the beauty we behold started with an explosion and fire.

This is where I find myself in this phase of my life.
Missing what was and stunned by what is.

THANK YOU MANTISSA for the photo! I love it! It is perfect!!! Hugs :)


X. Dell said...

Excellent analogy. The land afforded to us by volcanos has become necessary for life. On the other hand, volcanos possess an incredible destructive capacity.

I've felt the lava flowing in this life. I could say that the destructive power was great, but learning and understanding came once the lava cooled and all that was left behind were black rocks.

For me, the black rocks are where it's at. For many older couples that I've known, the black rocks are worth far more than the lava. They are precious.

I can understand missing the lava, though. It's an indication that things always change, no matter how hard we try to keep them constant.

I could even understand it if some might reflect back on their experiences and conclude that the lava's where it's at.

Whatever. People adapt.

foam said...

when i read that quote i didn't even think about relationships.
i was thinking more in terms of passion for something else...a calling perhaps, art, music, etc...

i'm in a committed longterm relationship. i know all about how passion when it is equated with sex changes over the years. there might still be passion but hopefully more mature, laidback, comfortable, languid..

foam said...

ps: and i know you aren't just talking about sex here... said...

the land around a volcano ~ ie where the lava has flowed and then congealed ... its always the most fertile, ain't it? ain't that why people settle there? despite the risks ...

your visual ... it reminds me of the pics i saw of mt etna last evening on the tele ...

what if i am unprepared for the truth of transformation? how could that be? i cannot imagine that. truth transforms ... that's the dynamic nature of long term relationships such as we are discussing.

i like the analogy of the lava flow ... it sorta makes me think of what having kids did to my life ... my marriage ... my entire perspective on everything. the black stuff looks barren ~ but its not ... not by a long shot ... just cooler, perhaps a metaphor for distance (as children grow ... they "need us" less, or in different ways ... begin to draw away and live their own lives). having experienced the empty nest thing, that's what i think of.

on just a couple scale, and not talking about sex ... just passion and love. it doesn't feel urgent, on fire, like its going to burn the house down, anymore, like it did once. it doesn't have to ... the black rock nurtures us ... in ways that fire simply cannot.

*whew* who could always have the energy to feel the passion of the fiery lava? who would want to? it would eat me up ... i think ... just the same way the fiery lava dissolves material on contact. the danger of the lava-passion is losing oneself to said passion. y'know? getting vapourized by it ... that's entrapment ... eventually, i think. (but ~ that's just me, perhaps, and my fear of being trapped)

the passion of the black rock ... that is something upon which new growth can take place.

i cherish the past ... do not miss it (that would make me like lot's wife - inert like that pillar of salt ~ been there, done that, not cool, no good)... just cherish it. i savour (yes, also marvel) the present ... this is when i sow the seeds that will become my tomorrows. said...

erupting mt etna - kewl pic

Mayden' s Voyage said...

X- Well said- thanks. I know you are a "black rock" kind of guy ;)
You have integrity and value the people you love- I appreciate that in you-♥

Foam- You are right- and seeing "passion" in terms of a calling like art, well, it still applies I think. I noticed the other day when I write a story I get so excited and want to write all of it down- but then it's too condensed. A skill I am learning is to let the passion out- write everything down, and then construct from the foundation of what I've written. One part is wild and fun- and I nearly break into a sweat getting it all on paper...and THEN- I have to cool off, re-read, elaborate- build...GROW the story.
Good take on this! And you are right- this was not just about sex! :)♥♥

Roxanne- what I meant about the "truth" of the transformation was my own surprise at seeing how my marriage had changed over the 18 to 20 years. I expected one thing- and found another. It was a very gradual change, and when I realized what had happened- I was unprepared. Apathy is truth for many...and I don't think anyone ever thinks it will happen to them. I certainly didn't.

I value your words here about cherishing the past- and marveling at the present. I do marvel at the stronger woman I have become...more independent than ever and more sure of myself in many ways. ♥♥♥

electro-kevin said...

What about the ash ? And the smell of sulphur ?

Could they be woven into your analogy ?

I like Persig's description of individual progress - that the pinacle of a mountain is bleak and barren. The fauna and flora resides on its flanks - a bit like saying that it is better to travel than to arrive, or to be satisfied with being 'normal'.

Pretty blog, Cora.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Wow...yes- the ash and the sulphur could well be the difficulties and the unpleasant realites of living with another human. We are all faulty, and learning to live with our own faults, not to mention those of another, is messy at best.
At least for me it has been.

I do love the idea that the "travel" is what's important because it's what we spend most of our time doing. It where we learn, and grow, and meet others along the way. :)
Thank you for visiting :)


exskindiver said...

i like x. dell's further comment on this.
excellent analogy.

you have been speaking to me directly since your Og Mandino post.
And then this. said...

when i wrote that stuff about the present and the past ... i also had in mind ... just acceptance ... of what comes our way in life, as opposed to whining when things go our way, playing broken-wing, and engaging in the pity-self-martyrdom act that so many in this world really love to do ... y'know?

it erodes one's enjoyment of what life really is all about, when one spends most of one's time, fussing and fretting and getting histrionic about all the things in life that don't go the way one wants ... i don't mean to sound cold ... but at some point we all just gotta buck up and live, right? instead of whining and coming up with all sorts of excuses why we can't.

i have learned this the hard way ... and yeah, now that you mention strength wrt yourself ... i see that for me, too, this process has also made me stronger ... not before it nearly broke me, though.

still, i think whining and the pity-party thing and getting angry just makes it harder for oneself than humbly accepting what life has to offer and somehow trying to make a silk purse from that pig's ear. which is why i think ... choice is so important ~ i mean, our perception of it. when i thought i had no choice ... my outlook was so different. i almost cannot believe i am the same person, coz, in so many ways, i am not.

like the rolling stones said, ya cain't always get what ya want ... but ya may end up getting what ya need ... and perhaps these are two different things, and that's ok.

hey ~ i thought of you the other night when i saw getty lee on tv the other night ~ bob and doug mackenzie were celebrating their 2-4 in a comedy special... and getty lee was on that show. its rush you and the hubz like, right? he didn't sing or anything ... just schmoozed with the hosers. it was fun to watch. getty lee brought them a 'donut cake' ~ a cake made entirely of donuts. hahahaha. yeah, we're a little strange up here, we find that silly stuff amusing.

i also love what kevin said ~ indeed, the pinnacle is the most barren and lonely place to be. above the tree line, less oxygen ... less to sustain us at the peak. seems like a great metaphor for living. its all about the journey ... not the height we reach.
enjoy your day!

SJ said...

Excellent analogy. I think you are right in appreciating the black rock.

However right now I could do with molten hot lava.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

CHesca- Hugs...I was thinking of you today and wondering if the 2nd week of school has been as crazy for you as it has been for me :)

Roxanne- Ahh- acceptance...(my stomach hurts when you said that!:)
I loathe a "pity party"- especially in myself, and yet there is no doubt that I do it from time to time. "Buck up and live"- those are wise words from someone who has traveled a hard path...
I love that you saw a Geddy Lee clip! I'll have to look for it on the net- I told hubs...he wants to see it too-
Yes- I also love what Kevin said here, it is about the journey. We basically all end at the same place, don't we?

Hugs SJ- I read your blog and didn;t have time to answer the way I wanted- but I will get back to you!
LOL- Yep...I need some hot lava more than I want to admit! Sigh- it's not alway available, even when you're married! :) But we try~

The Phosgene Kid said...

Molten Spurting magma, rock hard pillars?/ I tink ve must analyze dese Psychosssisssesss, Ya?? Sometimes it's a cigar, sometimes it ain't.

LADY LUXIE said...

In my country we have this volcano who suddenly went berserk with unbridled passion ( a few years ago) so just totally letting go of all its angst that its fiery wrath and fumes and smoke affected the entire planet...And so thinking of volcanoes here I reminisce on that day back 1991 how I stood outside our doorway thinking "ooooh' goooodie...snoooow!!"...( hey' I was still reeling from the effects of the anesthesia from my C section) only to realize it was hot ash covering the entire metropolitan...

N'ways...Volcano thinking is traumatic for me sooo..I'm thinking now of coals in a bbq grill...Sometimes you need to fan it to make it fire back to life!..You throw in a small dash of something that makes fire ignite!!!

I luv' how you related the after effects point of a lava..How necessary it is to replenish life...

kinda' like in a bbq grill...the flames die out eventually...but you've got that loooovely glowing steak to savor!..( much better with sidings too)

Luv' yaaaah!!! ( with la' pazzion..)

Kate said...

ohhh great post! (idk how I missed this one!)

Lol to Lux!

Red Mantissa wrote:

"still, i think whining and the pity-party thing and getting angry just makes it harder for oneself than humbly accepting what life has to offer and somehow trying to make a silk purse from that pig's ear."

I think many people think along those lines.

I am not one that just accepts things as they are offered. If I get given a grape lollipop and really wanted a cherry one I ask for it. So to with life. I wish I could be content with what I have, but I am always looking for more and better. Its a curse in many ways(and I guess I do have a pitty party now and again), but it also affords me the opportunity to do things that many other people cant, dont or wont. I am a thrill seeker in many ways. I want hot molten lava. I need it (and I dont just mean sex) I need it in my life. I need input at all times. I need to grow and learn... see and do. I cant sit still and get bored easily. Its just who I am. There is plenty of freakin black rock... I want to see what I can create with my lava! I am not interested in giving up my portion black rock, but I can have lava too cant I???!?
Or does that option not really exist?

I need a good role model for a lava infused black rock kind of life and marriage! hehehe

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