May 30th...1969- 2008

SJ- how lovely of you to remember... Thank you :)

These are "gifts" in my yard- yes...I planted them (but not the tree- God knew I wanted one- and this one started to grow last summer- despite the drought!)

And gifts of the heart are revealed in this quote I found yesterday~

"In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers. "

- Pam Brown

I've cried 3 times in the last 24 hours- over a friend moving away, over a poem I found written by my daughter years ago in a special book we shared...and I've shed tears for no good reason at all. (something I saw on TV?)

I am getting down-right sappy in my old age! lol! :) Hugs to each of you- I'm thinking of closing Mayden's Voyage for a while- or taking the summer off. (Oh- I might start crying again!) Yes...I think it's time. Not for goodbye- but farewell?

One more post- then I'm done for a few months.

Be back soon~

Honoring those who gave their all~

Before you head to the beach, or plan your cook out, or if you are simply going to be hanging around the house and enjoying your day off- take a moment to reflect on Memorial Day.

Normandy France

Arlington


Having recently seen this film, Band of Brothers, for the first time- I must add a clip.
It was the most moving and powerful film I've ever seen. It's tough to watch, but I think it reflects the truth of what our men lived and died doing in the liberation of Europe and stopping Hitler.



Happy Memorial day- and God bless our men and women in uniform.

Oh- the places I've been!

It's May 9th (Happy Birthday Tim!) and I've been gone since May 1st...
I arrived home later today.

I spent 3 days in Myrtle Beach with family, then drove to Orlando and spent time
with the lovely and wonderful "Kate" (Helene)- who is in the middle of a move and blogging is something she can't do at the moment.

We went to the beach, we worked out together, we lounged by the pool, we drank wine and martini's and walked to the lake in her area to see alligators up close and personal! We also went to the Raptor rehab center and got as close to an eagle (and a few other birds) than I'll ever be in the wild! We also had great fun with her kids ("Can I have your number???")- who made me homesick for my own~

I know this is a pitiful re-count of the last 8 days- but I promise to wax philosophical a little later this weekend :) Enjoy the photos for now!

Chipmunk Bites...

One of my first blog posts, over 2 years ago, was a story about the time I was bitten by a chipmunk while trying to save it from my cat. It amazes me every spring how many people google "Chipmunk bite" and end up here looking for information.

So- as a public service announcement- I'm not going to re-tell the story, but I am going to tell you what to do if you are bitten by a rodent of any kind- this includes chipmunks, squirrels, mice, rabbits, or any other critter you might encounter in your back yard.

Clean the wound, and GO TO THE HOSPITAL, or your closest Urgent Care facility!

The most serious issue at hand is not rabies, even though there is the potential for that, it's a STAPH INFECTION.

My bite was a little one, and after cleaning the wound on my finger I felt I would be fine...it seemed overly dramatic and silly to go to a Dr. for a tiny, though bloody, matter. However, my sister (God bless her) insisted I go to Urgent care...so I went.

The bite did not require stitches, but it did require a host of things from disinfectant to 10 days of antibiodics. When I expressed to the Dr. that I thought he was going a bit overboard when he bandaged up my arm and insisted that I keep my hand higher than my heart for the next 24 hours, his reaction was serious.
He said, "Cora, these kind of bites are dangerous because of the germs and bacteria on the teeth of a rodent. A staff infection can kill you in a matter of days if it's not treated aggresively."

I still thought he was over-reacting until a teacher at my son's school was doing yard work and was bitten by a squirrel. She cleaned up the wound, put some neosporin on it and a band-aid and went about her business. Within 3 days she was deathly ill with a fever and an infected hand. She was admitted to the hospital as her organs were shutting down, and was on IV antibiodics for over a month. She almost died from the infection from the squirrel bite.

If you are bitten by a critter that breaks the skin- go see a Dr. It might sound silly when you confess you were a Chipmunk victim, but it's not a laughing matter.
Be seen, take the antibiodics, and be well.

:)

My next post will be about my upcoming Myrtle Beach adventure! :)

Ok, ok, ok...

It's been a long week- I'm ready for something funny...or something fun! Tell me- what is the highlight of your week...your month???

My highlight will be coming soon...May 1st or 2nd...
More details when I have them!

:)

the pic is from South Africa- a few years ago- and I felt very lucky to walk out of my room and see a double rainbow~

Red Sox win...8 to 5

Someting to smile about!
At least it was for me :) Hugs Amy! The win is a tad bittersweet when I think of you and your devotion to your team~
but it was a good game :)

My 6 word meme inspired by Foamy-

Sunlight-

Water-

Love-

Words-

Equally Powerful

_____________________________

Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).

These here is the rules:1) Write your own six word memoir.2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.4) Tag at least five more blogs with links.5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.6) Have fun.

I'm not going to tag anyone- however, if you do this- please let me know, I would love to see it.

A long week~

Within 24 hours of my friend's passing, my mom began having a serious GI bleed. She was admitted to the hospital on Friday. There was a delay in getting her released- she was finally discharged yesterday. 11 days of being in a hospital has completely screwed up my sense of time. I honestly thought yesterday was Monday.

Aughhhh! Talk about a blonde moment!

-

Anyway- I am back...sort of. There will be a big family meeting on Monday and I am hoping we, as a family, can make some important decisions about important people who need care. Unfortunately the combination of denial, deep emotions, and limited resources make a meeting like this complicated and kind of touchy. My hope is that we will honor each others feelings and opinions and be able to reach a compromise that works for all involved; but there is the potential for the meeting to blow up in our faces- so we must tread carefully. There is also a need for genuine leadership- for one of us to speak the truth plainly and be able to take the heat. It might be me...it might not. I don't know yet.

I am planning a get-away in the next few weeks, a road trip to see friends, play in the water, visit my Aunt and Uncle, and hopefully get some much needed time to recover. Honestly- I wish I was anywhere other than where I am at the moment...but it's at times like this when I realize how important it is to push through and not run.

Our strength is determined by how well we bear up under our struggles- not by how fast we can run from them~

I'll be reminding myself all weekend of what I just said. Sometimes I hate it when I say stuff like that- you know...the truth.

sigh-

I'm good. I'm well. I will survive. I'm worth the time, the rest, the work, and the love it takes to be the best person I can be.

So are you :)

"Do not stand at my grave and weep. I'm not there, I do not sleep.
I'm a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond glint on snow.
I'm sunlight on ripened grain. I'm the gentle rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush, I'm the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I'm the soft stars that shine in the night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry. I'm not there. I did not die."



Not sure who wrote this, but it's been one of my favorites for over 10 years. I found it again tonight while looking for quotes about a "New Day"-
seems fitting for this post.

I know, when a person dies, they are gone...separate from us in the day to day grind of taking kids to school, cooking dinner, and folding laundry. Yet- I also know that something of those "lost" - they live on in us in many ways- my friend Foamy said it best.

This post is a deep breath. A pause. A moment to reflect. I am alive, I am well, I have thought, strength, and love- and those things endure, even after the body has expired.
What a powerful realization- that some part of us lives on- even when we are gone.

I can smile. I can sleep. I can dream. I can work. I can be me. I can leave a legacy. We all can, and we all DO--- everyday.

I recently told someone who asked me, "What do you want to be remembered for?"

my reply...

"For the words I write, and the love I gave away."

Amen~

When it matters

(it's over, K passed around 8:30 pm and her family was with her)

When it matters-you go...

You pay to leave your car in a confusing hospital parking deck that holds over 2,000 vehicles.

You bring food, you bring love, you bring 2 open arms to hold who ever needs holding.

Sometimes you struggle to find the words to convey what's written on your heart... but the fact you are standing there means everything- you don't have to speak.

When it matters- you go...

To pick up someone's brother in law, and bring pizza.

You hug strangers you've heard about, but never met.

You bite your lip when you would otherwise tell someone to get a grip.

You look at the world through the eyes of a teenager, and a 5 year old who've lost their mom, and suddenly nothing in your own life seems terribly important.

When it matters- you go...

You walk to the bathroom with your best friend- just to be with her.

You stand at the foot of the bed with her as she says good bye to her sister.

You try to make the younger ones feel at ease- as if life will go on, even though for now it has come to a complete stop.

You shed tears, not because of your own pain...but because you are bearing the pain of the ones you love.

When it matters- GO.

It's the most important thing any of us will ever do.

I promise.

**************************************************

Thank you- all of you- for the words you've left with me- for the prayers, and encouragement, and bits of wisdom you've graciously left for me. None of it has been wasted- I used all of it- I needed all of it.

Hugs~

Time is a double edged sword

Most of us live our lives in a long chain of monotony with bejeweled moments interspersed adding color, texture, sparkle, and value. I think of a charm bracelet, or a necklace, with stones or trinkets irregularly placed as I consider my own life. My marriage is signified by an emerald, the birth of my children as diamonds, and the various close friends I have are brightly polished jewels which reflect myself as well as having their own color and shape.

Our "Chain" is also marked by weak links and damage from wear and tear. There are settings where precious stones have fallen out- leaving an empty casing. Some things lost can not be replaced. There are also trinkets added that we thought were 14k gold, only to find they were electroplated bits of raw metal that left a smudge on our skin..."fake stuff"- and we learn over time how to tell the difference between GOLD and Gold Plated.

What I struggle with tonight are the places in the chain where it's clear some links are missing, or coming apart. Not only in my own life, but in lives near and dear to me, I see bits of the chain coming undone and I wonder how it can ever be repaired. I wonder how, when irreplaceable links are lost, how can we be whole again? I know there is a way, and I know that it takes time, but I am unable to fathom the process, and much less able to describe it. I'm only aware of the old adage about Time healing many things. I dare not say it heals everything though.

One of the most frustrating things about a life threatening illness and the care we receive in the hospital is the TIME it takes to get answers and make decisions. I have a well balanced internal clock, but today at the hospital I kept having to look at my phone to see what time it was. My day was marked not by minutes, but by each push of a ventilator and by beeps on a machine used to monitor various body functions- even when I left K's room. Now, miles from her, sitting in my own house I know how her time is being marked.

Questions remain---tough questions with no easy or simple answers, and when decisions are made...links in the chain of many lives will be altered. For a time- TIME itself will morph into a creature that runs like a rabbit, or drags along like a turtle with no place in particular to go. Days will blend into nights, and moonlight back into sunshine with little or no notice by those who grieve and feel something irreplaceable is slipping through their fingers.

Right now all we can do is wait. Wait for direction, clarity and wisdom. Wait for a sign of recovery, or a sign to let go. We wait to discover if time is our foe, or if he is a healer- knowing full well he is both.

Thanks to each of you for your care, thoughts and prayers- both the spoken and unspoken ones. I appreciate your being here with me in this particular journey. Hugs and love to all of you...especially you- my dear friend- if you are reading this. I love you more than I can ever say and it is an honor to walk beside you. Sweet friend...I treasure you with all my heart.

Shadows fall~

It's happening now...

My best friend's sister- has had a stroke and a major brain bleed this morning. She's being air-lifted to our local hospital for emergency surgery- things don't look good.

K has been struggling with a brain tumor for almost a year now- and she's young- in her 30's with 3 kids.

My best friend's heart is simply broken...and my heart for her~

Thoughts and prayers for strength for the family now is all I can ask for.

And I'd ask you to hug someone you love today- hug them twice- once for me.

"Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour"

Do you remember the feeling the first time you saw the ocean, or looked out of the window of a plane? How about the first time you tasted something and it became your favorite food- or favorite wine? Or even more profoundly- do you remember the moment you fell in love?

This poem is amazing to me. It stirred up feelings and images I can barely describe-it made me think of the elderly couple I met at breakfast a few months ago...it made me long to be in a quiet place in the arms of a loved one. I read it, and read it, and read it again- and when I read it out loud- it was as if a spell was broken, or perhaps a spell was cast?
I had to share it~
Move over Dylan Thomas...Wallace Stevens has arrived :)


Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour

Light the first light of evening, as in a room
In which we rest and, for small reason, think
The world imagined is the ultimate good.

This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous.
It is in that thought that we collect ourselves,
Out of all the indifferences, into one thing:

Within a single thing, a single shawl
Wrapped tightly round us, since we are poor, a warmth,
A light, a power, the miraculous influence.

Here, now, we forget each other and ourselves.
We feel the obscurity of an order, a whole,
A knowledge, that which arranged the rendezvous.

Within its vital boundary, in the mind.
We say God and the imagination are one...
How high that highest candle lights the dark.

Out of this same light, out of the central mind,
We make a dwelling in the evening air,
In which being there together is enough.

Wallace Stevens

Now I lay me down to sleep...

My Mom is not well- her kidney function continues to drop. Other things spin out of my conrol...
At times I feel I'm in a tornado of sorts...being picked up and tossed like a little rag doll on a mighty wind. Or like that poor cow in the Twister movies (or whatever it was called)- MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!



Today, at my mom's house, I discovered a treasure trove of memories in an old suitcase. She gave me permission to bring it home and sort through the 60+ years of memories stored inside.


I was totally blown away~

One letter, written from my Great Uncle JT Boyce, to his father, in August of 1945- was written from Manilla...to his father, my Great, Great Grandfather- "Thornton Norfleet Boyce"- during WWII!
The letter said: August 5th, 1945



"Dear Daddy,

"It's raining in Manila tonight but it is a welcome change from so much dust and heat. I'm well and getting along fine, but I miss the US and Mid (his wife) especially. My mail hasn't caught up with me and I'll be glad when it does. We have these shifts here when I work. We rotate each week... (the rest left out for personal reasons)


The food here is good for the Army but I could use something cold to drink. After a while I think we will get more ice. It doesn't look like the Japs can hold out much longer but you can't be to sure. I hope you are well and getting along ik. I've been here since Jlu 15th. I told you I flew all the way from the States, didn't I?


Love
JT"



I've been in touch with my great Uncle JT over the last few years...lucky me- he is 91 and still as sharp as ever. I copied the letter and envelope and mailed it to him this afternoon...it seemed like the least I could do.

I wonder what he will think of this letter being in my care...of all the nieces or cousins...or whoever that would have written to him over the years- it seems interesting that 24 years before I was born he would pen this note- and then live long enough to know me...and I would find his letter to my great grandfather...

I don't believe in "coincidences"- this letter found me for a reason...if only to send it back to it's original author.

Nor do I believe I have "found" any of you by "conincidence" either- Love you...all of you...I will write as soon as I can...I promise.

Not a cheese sandwhich Phos...

If anything...
I'd be a dolphin~

and a silly one at that :)

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought" -Buddha

From "The Secret"

Expectation is a powerful attractive force, because it draws things to you.

As Bob Procter says, "Desire connects you with the thing desired and expectation draws it into your life."

Expect the things you want, and don't expect the things you don't want.

******************************************

I have been waiting for today...for THIS day- Thursday, Feb 28th, because this is my day of rest and self evaluation. Since Sunday- I've cleaned my mother's home (sis helped), taught a wonderful child how to knit, spent time with a dying friend, spent time with a friend I love more than I love myself, wrote letters to people I wanted to connect with, cooked wonderful meals, and had a difficult conversation with my husband.

We think what we think- right?

Our thoughts are like the ocean surf...water rolls in, and it rolls out. Or like the current in a stream- it's just "there"- isn't it???

I used to think so, but not anymore.

I know the tides of ocean are controlled by the power of the moon's gravitational pull on the earth. I know that currents in a stream are also created by unseen forces such as gravity, the lay of the land, rainfall, and wind. Some of the most powerful forces in nature can not be seen- or even fully explained, and yet our survival, or demise, depends on them.

-

If we consider for a moment that our "thoughts" are no different than the forces that drive water down a river bed, or force wave after wave upon the beach, how exciting is the idea that WE have control over those thoughts?

-

I WANTED this day to be mine. I KNEW it was coming. IT has ARRIVED as I EXPECTED it to.

I know the phone could ring- and there could be an emergency. I know that my reality interconnects with the realities of others. I also know that I often let my day, and my plans, and perhaps even my thoughts, be driven or changed by the desires or needs of others.

-

For 2 years I have been asking, in my Spirit, for something I need (it's personal and I won't share it here)- and it's finally coming. In abundance. Almost like a waterfall- I feel astounded by the rush of what has arrived in my life.

When I opened my book this morning- the truth of what I have been doing was right there on the page- directly in front of me. Again- I was reminded of the power of our thoughts, and of our words. I feel a sense of elation that is impossible to describe, even as I look down and see the grief I am living with in regards to my mom, and my brother, their finances, and the strained relationships I have. I also see a flood of love and support from sources I didn't know existed.

I want to walk in this state of mind- prayerful,thoughtful, seeking, asking, and not worry when I fall, as St. Peter did on the sea of Galilee- because we all fall sometimes. Peter's fall is significant because he fell in the presence of the One who encouraged him to step out- but Peter let his own troubled thoughts diminish the power of himself.

Troubled thoughts diminish the power of ones self... (hey! I wrote that! :)

Clear thoughts and expectations increase that power.

It's now 10:40 am- and I have other things I want to do this morning- but even if I curled up and went back to sleep- it would be ok. I have written what I needed to write for this day.

Hugs and love to you-

(with thanks to Rose- who posted this at Lux's place...and the flood of thoughts that came soon after)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

For Lux...

Thank you friend for bringing out the best in me~



(These are all blooming in my front yard :)

The day after~

I love Pink Roses...on any day EXCEPT Valentines Day~
Call me crazy- but I don't want, or need, a man to buy me flowers under duress.
Give them to me when it's least expected...
These were on sale, the day AFTER Valentines day- Regular price= $38.50
MY price the day after...
$5.00!!!The only thing better than pink roses-
Is CHEAP pink roses! lol





Life is like this... If we get what we want- when we think we should have it, we'll pay too much and enjoy it less. If we wait patiently for a thing we want and love, it will come to us- at a better price, at the right time, and we'll enjoy it more.


At least, this is how it seems to work out for me~

Hugs! :)

For "She"/ k9

It seemed too much of a coincidence that I would see this painting today- and read the following...
Hugs and love to you :)
xoxox

Parable of Immortality

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says :
- 'There she goes!

Gone where?
Gone from my sight - that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
- 'There she goes! ',
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
- 'Here she comes!'

Henry Van Dyke 1852 - 1933