"Do not stand at my grave and weep. I'm not there, I do not sleep.
I'm a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond glint on snow.
I'm sunlight on ripened grain. I'm the gentle rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush, I'm the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I'm the soft stars that shine in the night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry. I'm not there. I did not die."



Not sure who wrote this, but it's been one of my favorites for over 10 years. I found it again tonight while looking for quotes about a "New Day"-
seems fitting for this post.

I know, when a person dies, they are gone...separate from us in the day to day grind of taking kids to school, cooking dinner, and folding laundry. Yet- I also know that something of those "lost" - they live on in us in many ways- my friend Foamy said it best.

This post is a deep breath. A pause. A moment to reflect. I am alive, I am well, I have thought, strength, and love- and those things endure, even after the body has expired.
What a powerful realization- that some part of us lives on- even when we are gone.

I can smile. I can sleep. I can dream. I can work. I can be me. I can leave a legacy. We all can, and we all DO--- everyday.

I recently told someone who asked me, "What do you want to be remembered for?"

my reply...

"For the words I write, and the love I gave away."

Amen~

When it matters

(it's over, K passed around 8:30 pm and her family was with her)

When it matters-you go...

You pay to leave your car in a confusing hospital parking deck that holds over 2,000 vehicles.

You bring food, you bring love, you bring 2 open arms to hold who ever needs holding.

Sometimes you struggle to find the words to convey what's written on your heart... but the fact you are standing there means everything- you don't have to speak.

When it matters- you go...

To pick up someone's brother in law, and bring pizza.

You hug strangers you've heard about, but never met.

You bite your lip when you would otherwise tell someone to get a grip.

You look at the world through the eyes of a teenager, and a 5 year old who've lost their mom, and suddenly nothing in your own life seems terribly important.

When it matters- you go...

You walk to the bathroom with your best friend- just to be with her.

You stand at the foot of the bed with her as she says good bye to her sister.

You try to make the younger ones feel at ease- as if life will go on, even though for now it has come to a complete stop.

You shed tears, not because of your own pain...but because you are bearing the pain of the ones you love.

When it matters- GO.

It's the most important thing any of us will ever do.

I promise.

**************************************************

Thank you- all of you- for the words you've left with me- for the prayers, and encouragement, and bits of wisdom you've graciously left for me. None of it has been wasted- I used all of it- I needed all of it.

Hugs~

Time is a double edged sword

Most of us live our lives in a long chain of monotony with bejeweled moments interspersed adding color, texture, sparkle, and value. I think of a charm bracelet, or a necklace, with stones or trinkets irregularly placed as I consider my own life. My marriage is signified by an emerald, the birth of my children as diamonds, and the various close friends I have are brightly polished jewels which reflect myself as well as having their own color and shape.

Our "Chain" is also marked by weak links and damage from wear and tear. There are settings where precious stones have fallen out- leaving an empty casing. Some things lost can not be replaced. There are also trinkets added that we thought were 14k gold, only to find they were electroplated bits of raw metal that left a smudge on our skin..."fake stuff"- and we learn over time how to tell the difference between GOLD and Gold Plated.

What I struggle with tonight are the places in the chain where it's clear some links are missing, or coming apart. Not only in my own life, but in lives near and dear to me, I see bits of the chain coming undone and I wonder how it can ever be repaired. I wonder how, when irreplaceable links are lost, how can we be whole again? I know there is a way, and I know that it takes time, but I am unable to fathom the process, and much less able to describe it. I'm only aware of the old adage about Time healing many things. I dare not say it heals everything though.

One of the most frustrating things about a life threatening illness and the care we receive in the hospital is the TIME it takes to get answers and make decisions. I have a well balanced internal clock, but today at the hospital I kept having to look at my phone to see what time it was. My day was marked not by minutes, but by each push of a ventilator and by beeps on a machine used to monitor various body functions- even when I left K's room. Now, miles from her, sitting in my own house I know how her time is being marked.

Questions remain---tough questions with no easy or simple answers, and when decisions are made...links in the chain of many lives will be altered. For a time- TIME itself will morph into a creature that runs like a rabbit, or drags along like a turtle with no place in particular to go. Days will blend into nights, and moonlight back into sunshine with little or no notice by those who grieve and feel something irreplaceable is slipping through their fingers.

Right now all we can do is wait. Wait for direction, clarity and wisdom. Wait for a sign of recovery, or a sign to let go. We wait to discover if time is our foe, or if he is a healer- knowing full well he is both.

Thanks to each of you for your care, thoughts and prayers- both the spoken and unspoken ones. I appreciate your being here with me in this particular journey. Hugs and love to all of you...especially you- my dear friend- if you are reading this. I love you more than I can ever say and it is an honor to walk beside you. Sweet friend...I treasure you with all my heart.

Shadows fall~

It's happening now...

My best friend's sister- has had a stroke and a major brain bleed this morning. She's being air-lifted to our local hospital for emergency surgery- things don't look good.

K has been struggling with a brain tumor for almost a year now- and she's young- in her 30's with 3 kids.

My best friend's heart is simply broken...and my heart for her~

Thoughts and prayers for strength for the family now is all I can ask for.

And I'd ask you to hug someone you love today- hug them twice- once for me.

"Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour"

Do you remember the feeling the first time you saw the ocean, or looked out of the window of a plane? How about the first time you tasted something and it became your favorite food- or favorite wine? Or even more profoundly- do you remember the moment you fell in love?

This poem is amazing to me. It stirred up feelings and images I can barely describe-it made me think of the elderly couple I met at breakfast a few months ago...it made me long to be in a quiet place in the arms of a loved one. I read it, and read it, and read it again- and when I read it out loud- it was as if a spell was broken, or perhaps a spell was cast?
I had to share it~
Move over Dylan Thomas...Wallace Stevens has arrived :)


Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour

Light the first light of evening, as in a room
In which we rest and, for small reason, think
The world imagined is the ultimate good.

This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous.
It is in that thought that we collect ourselves,
Out of all the indifferences, into one thing:

Within a single thing, a single shawl
Wrapped tightly round us, since we are poor, a warmth,
A light, a power, the miraculous influence.

Here, now, we forget each other and ourselves.
We feel the obscurity of an order, a whole,
A knowledge, that which arranged the rendezvous.

Within its vital boundary, in the mind.
We say God and the imagination are one...
How high that highest candle lights the dark.

Out of this same light, out of the central mind,
We make a dwelling in the evening air,
In which being there together is enough.

Wallace Stevens

Now I lay me down to sleep...

My Mom is not well- her kidney function continues to drop. Other things spin out of my conrol...
At times I feel I'm in a tornado of sorts...being picked up and tossed like a little rag doll on a mighty wind. Or like that poor cow in the Twister movies (or whatever it was called)- MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!



Today, at my mom's house, I discovered a treasure trove of memories in an old suitcase. She gave me permission to bring it home and sort through the 60+ years of memories stored inside.


I was totally blown away~

One letter, written from my Great Uncle JT Boyce, to his father, in August of 1945- was written from Manilla...to his father, my Great, Great Grandfather- "Thornton Norfleet Boyce"- during WWII!
The letter said: August 5th, 1945



"Dear Daddy,

"It's raining in Manila tonight but it is a welcome change from so much dust and heat. I'm well and getting along fine, but I miss the US and Mid (his wife) especially. My mail hasn't caught up with me and I'll be glad when it does. We have these shifts here when I work. We rotate each week... (the rest left out for personal reasons)


The food here is good for the Army but I could use something cold to drink. After a while I think we will get more ice. It doesn't look like the Japs can hold out much longer but you can't be to sure. I hope you are well and getting along ik. I've been here since Jlu 15th. I told you I flew all the way from the States, didn't I?


Love
JT"



I've been in touch with my great Uncle JT over the last few years...lucky me- he is 91 and still as sharp as ever. I copied the letter and envelope and mailed it to him this afternoon...it seemed like the least I could do.

I wonder what he will think of this letter being in my care...of all the nieces or cousins...or whoever that would have written to him over the years- it seems interesting that 24 years before I was born he would pen this note- and then live long enough to know me...and I would find his letter to my great grandfather...

I don't believe in "coincidences"- this letter found me for a reason...if only to send it back to it's original author.

Nor do I believe I have "found" any of you by "conincidence" either- Love you...all of you...I will write as soon as I can...I promise.

Not a cheese sandwhich Phos...

If anything...
I'd be a dolphin~

and a silly one at that :)

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought" -Buddha

From "The Secret"

Expectation is a powerful attractive force, because it draws things to you.

As Bob Procter says, "Desire connects you with the thing desired and expectation draws it into your life."

Expect the things you want, and don't expect the things you don't want.

******************************************

I have been waiting for today...for THIS day- Thursday, Feb 28th, because this is my day of rest and self evaluation. Since Sunday- I've cleaned my mother's home (sis helped), taught a wonderful child how to knit, spent time with a dying friend, spent time with a friend I love more than I love myself, wrote letters to people I wanted to connect with, cooked wonderful meals, and had a difficult conversation with my husband.

We think what we think- right?

Our thoughts are like the ocean surf...water rolls in, and it rolls out. Or like the current in a stream- it's just "there"- isn't it???

I used to think so, but not anymore.

I know the tides of ocean are controlled by the power of the moon's gravitational pull on the earth. I know that currents in a stream are also created by unseen forces such as gravity, the lay of the land, rainfall, and wind. Some of the most powerful forces in nature can not be seen- or even fully explained, and yet our survival, or demise, depends on them.

-

If we consider for a moment that our "thoughts" are no different than the forces that drive water down a river bed, or force wave after wave upon the beach, how exciting is the idea that WE have control over those thoughts?

-

I WANTED this day to be mine. I KNEW it was coming. IT has ARRIVED as I EXPECTED it to.

I know the phone could ring- and there could be an emergency. I know that my reality interconnects with the realities of others. I also know that I often let my day, and my plans, and perhaps even my thoughts, be driven or changed by the desires or needs of others.

-

For 2 years I have been asking, in my Spirit, for something I need (it's personal and I won't share it here)- and it's finally coming. In abundance. Almost like a waterfall- I feel astounded by the rush of what has arrived in my life.

When I opened my book this morning- the truth of what I have been doing was right there on the page- directly in front of me. Again- I was reminded of the power of our thoughts, and of our words. I feel a sense of elation that is impossible to describe, even as I look down and see the grief I am living with in regards to my mom, and my brother, their finances, and the strained relationships I have. I also see a flood of love and support from sources I didn't know existed.

I want to walk in this state of mind- prayerful,thoughtful, seeking, asking, and not worry when I fall, as St. Peter did on the sea of Galilee- because we all fall sometimes. Peter's fall is significant because he fell in the presence of the One who encouraged him to step out- but Peter let his own troubled thoughts diminish the power of himself.

Troubled thoughts diminish the power of ones self... (hey! I wrote that! :)

Clear thoughts and expectations increase that power.

It's now 10:40 am- and I have other things I want to do this morning- but even if I curled up and went back to sleep- it would be ok. I have written what I needed to write for this day.

Hugs and love to you-

(with thanks to Rose- who posted this at Lux's place...and the flood of thoughts that came soon after)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

For Lux...

Thank you friend for bringing out the best in me~



(These are all blooming in my front yard :)

The day after~

I love Pink Roses...on any day EXCEPT Valentines Day~
Call me crazy- but I don't want, or need, a man to buy me flowers under duress.
Give them to me when it's least expected...
These were on sale, the day AFTER Valentines day- Regular price= $38.50
MY price the day after...
$5.00!!!The only thing better than pink roses-
Is CHEAP pink roses! lol





Life is like this... If we get what we want- when we think we should have it, we'll pay too much and enjoy it less. If we wait patiently for a thing we want and love, it will come to us- at a better price, at the right time, and we'll enjoy it more.


At least, this is how it seems to work out for me~

Hugs! :)

For "She"/ k9

It seemed too much of a coincidence that I would see this painting today- and read the following...
Hugs and love to you :)
xoxox

Parable of Immortality

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says :
- 'There she goes!

Gone where?
Gone from my sight - that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
- 'There she goes! ',
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
- 'Here she comes!'

Henry Van Dyke 1852 - 1933

About this time last year...

I met a fellow blogger...who, like me- seems to be off the radar for a while.
It was a special day and I wanted to share once again :)

Hugs Sean :) Whatever you are doing today- Happy Valentines Day.
It's was wonderful to meet you...and an honor to know you :)

********************************************

About a year ago I stumbled upon a blogger who was a soldier in Iraq-
He had only been blogging for a few weeks, just like me.

In 2004 and 2005 I led a group that wrote letters to people who were sick/in the hospital, and next we added soldiers (who were out of the country) to our list.
In particular we wrote to soldiers that were friends of, or were related to someone we knew personally.
I was thrilled when I came across Sean's blog because it enabled me to keep writing to someone in Iraq, and it gave me chance to make a new friend.

Sean was in my area for some training exercises over the last 2 weeks, and I got to spend 90 minutes with him this morning at a local mall.
We talked the whole time! (well, if you know me...getting me to be quiet is difficult! lol)

Anyway- I wasn't sure if our schedules would work out- but they did :) It was a lot of fun and I hope we can coordinate our schedules again before he returns to Iraq at the end of the year.

Thanks Sean...it was so nice to meet you! I hope next time I get to cook dinner for you! :)

***If any of you have a chance to meet a blog friend- be sure to do it. It really is special~ :)

Sometimes the Light is too bright~

The rays outdo themselves in brilliant glory and human eyes can not bear to gaze upon the sunbeams...it hurts too much. My sunglasses are with me constantly- battered, scatched, and the end of one arm broken- I can not survive the full sun without them. I simply can not see in an abundance of light.

Today, with my sunglasses on, I saw majestic beams splintering out from behind a heavy cloud. Foolishly- I took my glasses off for a better look- only to quickly glance away from the brightness. I felt only a burning pain...and saw nothing.

Unlike a gorgeous painting, or a river view- we can't get closer to the light for a better look.

Sometimes it's simply too bright...

And some pain is too intense...

Some truths too heavy to bear...

And all journeys must come to an end.

don't worry if you can't find me...

I am still here~

Laughter, Thought, and Passion~

This took thought~ (I made it :)


Roxanne posted a video (or 2 :) at her place that made me laugh out loud this morning...

Now---
for that other thing...
what was it?
Oh- yes- I remember.

Passion.

I exhaled as I wrote the word.

Did you know the word "passion" comes from the Latin word passiō - which means suffering, submission, deriv. of L passus, ptp. of patī to suffer, submit.

But now it is full of other meanings...about love, lust, and desire, feeling intensely about something or someone.

I take some comfort in the old meaning. If you've ever been "passionate" about anything- and it ended poorly (either a person or a project)- you understand where the suffering part makes perfect sense.
I suppose passion and determination are sisters?
As much as "regeret and loss" are brothers~

Here's to Passion without Regret, and to Determination without Loss- and to Thought and Laughter, which help us choose wisely, and ease the ache of our mistakes-
respectively- of course :)

A Sofa, Squash, Family, and Friends~ ♥~♥~♥

I'm the eldest of 6 kids- (some of you know this :)
All my family, except for a brother in San Diego, lives here in NC.

One sister, Naomi, lives in a small town near the mountains...about 3 hours NW from where I live.

She bought a house this summer, it was built in 1894...yes- I said 1894, While it has been renovated and restored over the last 113 years, she's been adding her own touches to the place and I had not seen it. We all wanted to go, so 15 members of my family made their way from central NC to the foothills of NC on Thursday morning.

(This is not her house, but it's similar)


The sky threatened a storm, but no rain fell. However, about 15 cars ahead of us- a driver in a pick-up truck on I-40 dropped a big black sofa on the highway!


I was sending text messages to friends when T slammed on the breaks! I jerked my head up from gazing at my phone to see 14 or so pairs of tail-lights- all glaring red- and all getting closer with each passing fraction of a second as they were all slamming on their breaks too!
I hear the squash casseroles slide across the back of the 4Runner, as well as J's b-day cake...(her b-day was Nov 21)- but I'm more worried about whatever might be in the back seat of the car in front of me- seeing how we were all getting rather close to each other.


Sigh...in a matter of seconds the crisis was over. We passed the sofa on the highway- and everyone else managed to miss it too. In a few minutes we saw the offending (and pulled over) pick-up truck and the matching love seat. T suggested to the driver (telepathically?) - to TIE the F'n furniture down next time they wanted to move something on I-40...but I think I'm the only one who heard him :)


We arrived at my sisters house with no further incidents.


Until she went to warm up the creamy, delicious, cheesy, squash casserole I had gotten up at 7 am to bake.


It warmed up nicely in the oven- unfortunately when she took it out she placed it on a hot burner- and the dish BLEW up into about 1,000 pieces. Not only was that dish ruined, but also the one next to it- because of all the crunchy bits of glass in it. No one was hurt- thankfully, but there was pretty much casserole in all 4 corners of her kitchen, as well as some flung into the dining room. Yikes...


My rolls however, were a big success. They were fine to eat right out of the bag and fully protected because of their plastic covering. Thank goodness :)

The casserole you see below is one I made today- because damn- it ...I wanted some! (without glass in it, of course.)


I didn't bake a turkey this Thanksgiving, and it's the first time in 18 years that I skipped that tradition. I did, however, make 3 squash casseroles (only 1 was eaten), a giant pot of beef stew, a breakfast casserole with sausage and 3 cheeses (below), and tomorrow I think I will make my first batch of fudge!

I also got a surprise in the mail from my friend Foamy on Friday! Yeahhh! (thank you! I've already used the "lavender"!!!) Hugs for you friend...and fudge too when it's ready to send!

We all arrived and returned safely. No one said anything they will ever regret saying. No one had too much to drink, not at least until we were all back in our own homes :) I did have a toast for Scary Monster...but that's an inside thing :)

My sisters house is wayyyy cool. Both my parents, in spite of the divorce, were there and arrived together. I got to hold my 4 month old nephew again- and he smiled at me :) So what if the casserole didn't make it to the table- we had more than enough food :) 19 of my closest family members were all together for this Thanksgiving holiday...

I'm not sure I could have asked for anything more ♥~♥~♥

(unless, of course, you are moving a sofa and love seat in a pick-up truck...be sure to tie the %$#@ things down- and tie them down good!!! lol! :)

When Perfect is the Enemy of Good

In this context I'd like to consider the word "Perfect" as an absolute in comparison to the word "Good" which can vary in meaning and by degrees.

My backyard- Nov 6th

I read a quote this weekend which said emphatically, "Perfect is the enemy of good". The writer was speaking of food and cooking, but the quote hit me with such force that I re-read it several times- out loud (to the puzzlement of my husband) and found the words wedged into my brain like a doorstop.

I was having an "Ah-ha" moment. Perhaps I was also having an "Uh-oh- Ouch!" moment too~

Thoughts, images, feelings, and principals swirled around me, as if I were standing in the inverted pinnacle of a whirlpool or a tornado- I could SEE dozens of areas in my life floating past me where I definitely needed to apply this new idea, or suggestion, that "Perfect is the enemy of good".

In parenting, marriage, friendships, writing, weight loss, health, my hair (gasp :), time spent, events to be planned, the upcoming holidays, gift giving, religion (I have to think more on that one), exercise, cooking, cleaning (!!!), decorating, communicating...


Ahhh- it was dawning on me...crashing on me actually...of how often I strive for "perfection"- knowing full well that it is usually out of my grasp, and being disappointed with the "good" I achieve.

It is maddness.

Perfection is about CONTROL.

Good is about being at peace and exhibiting grace in less than perfect situations- which are the norm!

It's an amazing thing to see someone act or perform with "perfection"- or as close to it as can be imagined. I think of people like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, or my grandmother's crocheted blankets. I think of Emeril's standing rib roast, poems by Robert Louis Stevenson, and paintings by Ande Cook ;)

Is there anything YOU do perfectly? I make a perfectly wonderful chocolate chip cookie, and sometimes I make the perfect pan of fudge. Some days I have great hair :) --and that's it for my list of perfections. :)

On the more important topics- like parenting and marriage- I tell you honestly I am far from perfect...but not far from Good. My kids, my husband, my home, and most of my friendships are---good.

There are things in my life, of course, that are bad; but "bad" is not the opposite of perfect. Much like the opposite of love is apathy- I think the opposite of perfection is insouciance, or detachment. To simply not care.

I know in some ways and in regards to some people I care too much- and I try too much... because I want to be perfect for them, or to be the perfect friend...or the perfect "meeter of needs". I am realizing (painfully) that in some things, and in some relationships, I must settle for "good"- because in truth- "Good is better than perfect". And, I realize that if "good" is not good enough (for certain people, or situations)- then I have to them let go.

I believe in there are areas in life when we need to perfect the natural skills we were born with- those skills which came to us with ease...those are things that each of us are meant to do- and do well. But those skills are on the short list.

Everything else we have to work for- and I have to stop beating myself up in the areas where I fall short.

I'm not perfect.

But I'm good- or at least trying to be :)

I'll be off line for a while except for a quick post here and there. I'm up to my ears in family stuff at the moment and this might continue through January. I'm not being distant- I promise- I'm simply in over my head for now- and I HAVE NOT RUN OFF WITH PHIL! :) But don't tempt me! :)

You are all special to me- I just had to say it :)

Crystal Coast, Emerald Isle and Atlantic Beach- North Carolina

(click the link in the title)

I don't need to tell you it was beautiful~ not when I can show you :)

We were contantly under the "threat" of ugly weather, but it made for some of the most beautiful clouds I've ever seen.
I received some bad news just before leaving- family stuff, and it was another reminder that we are continuoulsy under the "threat" of a storm.

We can hide inside or we can head out for a day of fun inspite of what the weather man says~

We went out- and sat in the sun.

I turned pink :) A lovely glow that will last all week long. Of the 4 days of sun and moonlight- there was a total of 2 hours of rain. Barely enough time to get in a good nap!

On a serious note- the bad news has me out of sorts- and I tried not to think about it over the long weekend. Today- home alone, it's hit me rather hard. Everything will be ok eventually, but a marrige close to me is coming to a bitter end and all I can do is watch the thing die. It affects a lot of people, as a dying marriage is bound to do. I just don't understand it.

I understand the feeling of being trapped- but freedom from the promise one made is not the answer. Freedom comes from within. Making another person responsible for YOUR happiness is a brutal trap.

I understand the disappointment of a dream not becoming the reality one hoped it would be, but every day is a new chance to begin again. I understand apathy...but I don't understand letting it become the dominant force of your life.

I'm still growing up I think, and the lessons aren't getting any easier; but each sunset and potential storm mean more to me than the one before. I suppose Im headed in the right direction?

Hope so~

Paradise from Fire...

I found a post recently from a blogger that I've been reading for over a year.
He posted this:

"Passion"

You can’t have passion
without having hope.
When you have passion,
you no longer fear.

While I agree with his statements above- I have some questions...
and I had a vision.
I'll start with the vision.

I saw a volcano.
Liquid fire gushed up through the top and spilled over the sides of the mountain...burning, rolling, inching it's way towards the water below.
The lava was beautiful, powerful and intense.
Absolutely nothing could stand in it's way. It consumed everything in it's path.
Plants vaporized from the heat long before the lava got close to them. The whole landscape of the mountain was altered.

Over time and as it moved it's color changed. Slowly it lost it's bright red intensity as it started to cool. Eventually it turned into what looked like black stone...barren and porous.

What had been a vibrant, hot, moving, molten mass of melted earth was now something completely different. It had become rock hard- black- and very sturdy.

What if passion is like lava?

What if, over time, passion completely changes it's form and function?
What if what you experienced early on in your relationship is unreasonable to expect later on?

What if you are unprepared for the truth of that transformation?

What if you keep expecting the red hot stuff, but only find black rocks everywhere?
Did anyone tell you this would happen?
Didn't you see it your parents marriage? Or did you chalk it up to apathy, or old age, or not pay any heed to it?

The passion couples have for each other is not always like it was in the beginning- sometimes not even close. However, the poem above makes a profound statement...
"When you have passion, you no longer fear"-

No fear of being alone. No fear of rejection- (at least in a healthy relationship.)

Passion becomes one of two things, as I see it. It either burns up and burns out, or it transforms into something solid- something you can build a relationship on.

It's interesting to think of liquid fire becoming stone and then supporting life. It does not seem possible, and yet-- look at Hawaii. A whole chain of islands created by volcanic activity- now lush and green and full of living things.

What is better? The burning hot lava- red and fiery- and a wonder to behold? Or the stunning plant and animal life that's taken over every square inch of the islands?

It's difficult to comprehend in the lava stage that things are going to change so very, very much.

And hard to imagine, when standing in Paradise, all of the beauty we behold started with an explosion and fire.

This is where I find myself in this phase of my life.
Missing what was and stunned by what is.

THANK YOU MANTISSA for the photo! I love it! It is perfect!!! Hugs :)

Quick thoughts...

Time is short.
Love is big.
Anger is a waste.
Regret is something I have less and less time for.
Communication is important.
Touch is vital.
Tears have meaning words don't.
Opinions are free and worth what you pay for them.
Rules get broken- so do hearts.

Time is short.
Love is big.

*♥~♥~♥~♥~♥*