Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A kiss! The word is sweet...

A kiss, when all is said, - what is it?

A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste,

A vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip,

A rosy circle drawn around the verb 'to love.'

A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear,

Infinity captured in the bee's brief visit to a flower,

Secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven,

The pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover's lip: 'Forever.'"



Saturday, February 14, 2009

~ Valentines Day ~

This is a re-post, but seemed fitting for today-

This morning, in a Hardee's restaurant, I stood in line behind an elderly couple placing an order. The lady told the cashier what they wanted and the gentleman paid for breakfast. Their 2 little biscuits and coffee cost $3.79.

As he opened his wallet to take out his cash, he pulled out a $50 bill in Mexican money (Pesos?) turned his head, and grinned at me. He said, "They won't take this stuff"- and I smiled and replied, "No, I don't think they will". After he paid, he turned to me again and took out a bill I didn't recognize. As he showed it to me he said- with an even bigger grin, "They won't take this either!" I asked him where it was from, he answered, "The Soviet Union". I laughed and said, "Well, you are just loaded aren't you?" He laughed too- and then shuffled off to follow his wife to their table.
I placed my order next. As I waited at the counter I turned to watch the elderly couple and I caught them at the exact moment they held hands, lowered their heads, and gave thanks for their food. Tears welled up in my eyes immediately. A thousand thoughts and feelings swept over me as I stood watching. I didn't know the human brain could process so many thoughts and feelings in such a tiny span of time, but it did. In a matter of seconds I went from thinking about my chicken biscuit to getting weepy over a couple of old folks who were merely doing what they've probably done for 50 years or more. It was beautiful.

I wondered about their life and I secretly wanted to interview them. However, that would have been a distraction for me because what was at the root of my tears had nothing to do with the life they've led, and everything to do with my own. I realized, with all my heart, I wanted an investment in another person that would pay out this kind of gold in my old age.

I want more than love, and passion, and adoration- I want *Nirvana. I want the finished product at the end of my life to be whole and unbroken- I want to be saturated and satisfied. I want the kind of bliss I saw this morning between 2 old people holding hands and giving thanks for their simple breakfast.
I think today, for the first time in my life, I saw the PRIZE. I saw it for what it really is and I feel utterly inept in trying to describe it. Even now as I sit here typing -the tightness in my throat and the tears on my cheeks are all I have to express how I feel.

I was called away and didn't get to ask the couple any questions, but I didn't need to. Sometimes the facts of a matter ding or tarnish the patina of feelings or sentiment. I didn't want anything to spoil what I was thinking and feeling- so I am at peace about not having the history of their life. (Although, if I ever see them again, I will ask :)

The Prize, exactly as I saw it this morning is Unconditional Love, both the giving and receiving of it. I'm aware Unconditional Love is different things to different people. For some of us it simply means keeping our word. For others it means giving up an organ, or taking care of another until the bitter end. The form of such love isn't universal, but the nature of it, how it makes us feel, and the way it sustains us- THAT is universal.

Having seen the Prize I know what to strive for. I realize I've experienced it a few times in my life- although often it seems fleeting - I'm determined to keep asking and reaching for it. At the same time I believe I must give it away freely before it will come back to me in abundance.

"Love" is one thing. "Unconditional Love" is something else entirely... I wish it for all of us.

Happy Valentines Day friends.

Sunday, February 08, 2009


My vision is altered, changed-
No longer can I see
The perfect simplicity
Of Black and White

Even the color of love,
Once a cotton-fluff-shade-of pink
Is splattered with the intense purple of passion,
And smeared with drops of Crimson

As if the Secret doors, or-
The curtain behind which Oz is hiding-
Have all been opened,
Or pulled back.

~Nothing is quite what it seems~

The light of each day surrenders to the dark,
Birth is not painless
Love is often complicated
Our Golden-life-giving Sun causes cancer

Opposite sides of the same coin
Are both seen at once-
My mind is barely pliable
Enough to grasp the harsh truth
Behind each reality.

I wonder though, if my altered sight is an improvement or a deterioration?

Much as a scuba diver drops into a world of watery filled light- with visibility in sharp decline to the surface above, and yet, a whole new world appears before him.

Eyes adjust, new discoveries are made with whatever light is possible.
Reflective patterns on spotted fishes and Orange coral are only to be seen with a mask and in the liquid murky depths of the sea.

The experience will change the diver, but did his vision improve because of the experience?
I only know the ocean will never look the same to him again.

They say with age comes wisdom.
These days I mostly feel befuddled.

The colors I associate with life have begun to run-
The vibrant oil paints have become watercolors.

Blue bleeds into red = purple streaks-
Yellow washes into Blue = green flourishes.
All the colors of the rainbow drip on to the floor...
There are NO shades of Gray,

I see Muddy Brown.

The questions and answers,
Myths, truth, illusions, and reality-
All exist is this most earthy of shades...
the color of soil, and seeds, tiny birds, and swollen rivers.

Gone are the days of Black and White.

-CRB 11-30-2008